-There's tons of good female characters, the three main females in Kokoro Connect, they have varying degrees of good, but they're all worth watching, as well as some of the females from Haganai, then there's Kuroyukihime from Accel World, Deadman Wonderland, Mirai Nikki, even if pretty much everyone in it is in varying stages of mental break, FLCL, HotD has decent females despite the fanservice simply because of how it just took it and ran with it, Integra from Hellsing, nearly every female in FMA/:B, Gunslinger Girl, Is this a Zombie?, even if it has heavy harem elements, Linebarrels of Iron early on has good characters all around before it descends into horrible, but still funny, annoyance, My Bride is a Mermaid, Akane and Nabiki Tendo and Ukyo Kuonji from Ranma 1/2, even if anime is very much Harem, Nina Fortner from Monster, some of the girls from The World God only Knows, His and Her Circumstances, Wolf Children, Tiger and Bunny.
There's plenty of good anime that have equally good female characters, this is just off the top of my head and there's countless more I'm not thinking of from all the years I've been watching it. And having fanservice does not invalidate a character's strength, in some cases, it actually makes them a better character.
- I'd say alot of Harem anime does this, but that's kinda a staple of the genre, so I won't say anything from those. I'd say anything that has to do with sexualizing characters of any gender that's under the age of consent/smart enough to know what they're fucking doing(16 is the absolute lowest I will go before I start calling it awkward to outright wrong fanservice, and that requires a pretty damn thorough checklist for me to even consider it "okay")
- I'd say they're about the same as always, it's just Anime has become a bigger industry in the last 20-30 years in the west and so we've gotten to see more of it. If it's increasing, it just means that there's an increase in ALL types of anime, not just bad fanservicey anime.
-No more than action movies have a thing for fights, explosions, and bad one-liners, or period drama does with awkward romance and use of words that have changed meaning over the years, or even romantic comedies do with their fun, though incredibly repetitive, cycle. The only real difference is that anime characters are able to be put on body pillows, and overall are just better merchandised than other forms of media.
And waifus honestly are just a natural evolution of the medium's audience, we do it in the west too to a lesser degree with our shows/movies and the characters presented within. Do I think it's healthy to have that much of an obsession with a character? Not exactly, but I'd say it's better than stalking and raising altars to real-life celebrities because of who they play on tv.