Another post about a girl...

[Phasmal]

All the cries of `Friendzoned, bro!` are funny to me. I was friends with my boyfriend for months before we started going out.

You are the 1%... That doesn't mean that everyone else should stay in miserable dependent friendzone-type relationships in case 3 years down the line she changes her mind, that's a waste of life, there are plenty of women out there.

I imagine it would be miserable, if you are the kind of guy who pins all his hopes and dreams on one woman, following her around pretending to be her friend while pining away at night. But those guys are not friends. I'm talking about someone who is, actually, your friend- who can pursue other people, but not rule out something more happening later on.

Yeah, you don't really know how men work, you cannot be a true friend to a girl that you are romantically and sexually attracted to, it is just not possible. You CAN be great friends with someone that you find fun, interesting but not attractive, but that's an entirely different thing.

I better go tell my boyfriend he isn't romantically and sexually attracted to me?

 

[Actual]

Next time you two have a moment, kiss her.

She's had bad relationships before doesn't mean she's swearing of men forever. Just let her know that you care for her and you're going to be good to her.

 

[artanis_neravar]

All the cries of `Friendzoned, bro!` are funny to me. I was friends with my boyfriend for months before we started going out.

You are the 1%... That doesn't mean that everyone else should stay in miserable dependent friendzone-type relationships in case 3 years down the line she changes her mind, that's a waste of life, there are plenty of women out there.

I imagine it would be miserable, if you are the kind of guy who pins all his hopes and dreams on one woman, following her around pretending to be her friend while pining away at night. But those guys are not friends. I'm talking about someone who is, actually, your friend- who can pursue other people, but not rule out something more happening later on.

Yeah, you don't really know how men work, you cannot be a true friend to a girl that you are romantically and sexually attracted to, it is just not possible. You CAN be great friends with someone that you find fun, interesting but not attractive, but that's an entirely different thing.

Bullshit. You can to be true friends with a girl you are attracted to, I have done it several times

 

[Crazy]

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First thing: Friend zone doesn't exist. She is either interested in you or she isn't there is no magical amount of days where, once you pass it, she suddenly stops being interested in you

Mighty big statement you got there. Hope you can prove it.

 

[Phlakes]

All the cries of `Friendzoned, bro!` are funny to me. I was friends with my boyfriend for months before we started going out.

You are the 1%... That doesn't mean that everyone else should stay in miserable dependent friendzone-type relationships in case 3 years down the line she changes her mind, that's a waste of life, there are plenty of women out there.

I imagine it would be miserable, if you are the kind of guy who pins all his hopes and dreams on one woman, following her around pretending to be her friend while pining away at night. But those guys are not friends. I'm talking about someone who is, actually, your friend- who can pursue other people, but not rule out something more happening later on.

Yeah, you don't really know how men work, you cannot be a true friend to a girl that you are romantically and sexually attracted to, it is just not possible. You CAN be great friends with someone that you find fun, interesting but not attractive, but that's an entirely different thing.

Yeah, no. I was very, very good friends with someone for over two years before we went into a relationship. Then for another two years after we broke up and I still had feelings for her.

 

[Trivun]

EDIT: Just thought I'd mention, even though I've known her for about 3 months now, we don't see each other often enough for her to have forced me into the "friend-zone" tbh. I maybe see her once or twice a week depending how busy I am, yet we live virtually next door to one another and whenever I do see her she always tells me how She gets excited and it makes her happy.

EDIT: Another thing I forgot to mention, she invited me back to hers last night but was very upset when I couldn't make it seeing as i was working however, she's invited me over tonight so i guess I'll be finding out tonight if she likes me or not. Just put this up as It didn't seem that "Friend-zoney" to invite me over to hers, on my own when her mum is out.

See what happens tonight, if she is interested and anything happens between you tonight that she instigates or you feel comfortable enough to instigate then problem solved. If not, then just ask her the hell out tomorrow, and make it completely clear that you mean as a date, not just as two friends. If she says yes then great, if not then you have your answer and you can move on and treat her just as a friend. Your situation really isn't that difficult to solve. And trust me, though this will sound egotistical on my part, this really is the best advice you are going to hear on this thread. Seriously. Anyhow, good luck, and I hope everything does go well for you, and for this girl too .

 

[Kyrinn]

First thing: Friend zone doesn't exist. She is either interested in you or she isn't there is no magical amount of days where, once you pass it, she suddenly stops being interested in you.

Friendzone is just the term we give it when the guy(or the girl in some cases; I've friendzoned a girl before) is intrested in a friend but the feeling isn't mutual.
People just skew it sometimes to mean "She might like me, but we're friends so she doesn't".
So yea, the friend zone exists, it's just not a certain date after which romance is impossible.

 

[Carnagath]

Yes you can. Just because you like her doesn't mean you treat her differently then any other person on the planet.

Yes, yes it does.

I better go tell my boyfriend he isn't romantically and sexually attracted to me?

Oh I don't doubt he is attracted to you, but if you think that your boyfriend, while you were just "friends", was always super-cool, chill and open about it and never "pined away at night" over you, then you are wrong.

Bullshit. You can to be true friends with a girl you are attracted to, I have done it several times

Must have been pretty "casual" friendships then, I'm talking about the real thing here, the "since you'll be out of town for the weekend, mind if I use your place to bring my new boyfriend" type of thing, you know, the things actual friends do for each other. If you got into such a situation and you actually stayed friends, then ha-ha-ha, more power to you!

 

[artanis_neravar]

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First thing: Friend zone doesn't exist. She is either interested in you or she isn't there is no magical amount of days where, once you pass it, she suddenly stops being interested in you

Mighty big statement you got there. Hope you can prove it.

A simple knowledge of the basic chemistry of the human mind, but other than that every "friend zone" case I have ever heard about, the girl was never interested in the guy and is just letting him down easy when she says anything like "I dont want to ruin our friendship", if he had asked her out right from the start she still would have said no.

First thing: Friend zone doesn't exist. She is either interested in you or she isn't there is no magical amount of days where, once you pass it, she suddenly stops being interested in you.

Friendzone is just the term we give it when the guy(or the girl in some cases; I've friendzoned a girl before) is intrested in a friend but the feeling isn't mutual.
People just skew it sometimes to mean "She might like me, but we're friends so she doesn't".
So yea, the friend zone exists, it's just not a certain date after which romance is impossible.

That's not what people use it as though, people use it as an excuse as to why a girl won't go out with them, your definition does exist

 

[artanis_neravar]

Must have been pretty "casual" friendships then, I'm talking about the real thing here, the "since you'll be out of town for the weekend, mind if I use your place to bring my new boyfriend" type of thing, you know, the things actual friends do for each other. If you got into such a situation and you actually stayed friends, then ha-ha-ha, more power to you!

Fuck that, I don't let anyone bring someone over to my place when I'm not there. A real friendship is being there for each other when either of you needs it, being able to spend time with just the two of you and have fun

 

[shrimpcel]

Be sure to tell us what happened though!

 

[mortalsatsuma]

Be sure to tell us what happened though!

I will, you nosey beggars.

 

[idodo35]

go for it man!
just be a good guy to her she sounds like a keeper!

 

[Crazy]

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snip

First thing: Friend zone doesn't exist. She is either interested in you or she isn't there is no magical amount of days where, once you pass it, she suddenly stops being interested in you

Mighty big statement you got there. Hope you can prove it.

A simple knowledge of the basic chemistry of the human mind, but other than that every "friend zone" case I have ever heard about, the girl was never interested in the guy and is just letting him down easy when she says anything like "I dont want to ruin our friendship", if he had asked her out right from the start she still would have said no.

And chemistry states "references references and more references" (as I'm no chemist). And how many have you heard, to be exact?

 

[Galletea]

If you like her then you will never be happy with "just friends". It's better for you to asj her if she wants to take it into a relationship. It could just be the idea of a relationship that scares her if her exes are dicks. The fact that it's practically what you're already doing is not the point to her.
Go for it, you shouldn't settle for being friends if you really like her, it's like lying to yourself and to her.

 

[Hagi]

Who cares whether or not all this friendzone crap exists. All it leads to are standardized relationships where you stop caring about what the person actually feels and believes and instead start caring whether or not that person fulfills a certain set of rules you read about on the internet.

Do relationships your way. If that means being friends for a few months and slowly trying to feel if there's room for more then that's what you should do. If that means asking her out right away then that's what you should do.

You shouldn't be interested in what the average man/woman would do relationships like. You should be interest in the man/woman who does relationships the same way you do them.

What do you feel comfortable doing with this girl?
Really want to kiss her? Go ahead and do it.
Really want to ask her to be your girlfriend? Go ahead and do it.
Really want to go into this slowly? Go ahead and do it.
Really want to have a long talk with her about this? Go ahead and do it.

Just remember that she's a person with her own feelings and desires. And those may not coincide with your own. She may reject you, and that's no problem; Just means she wasn't the right girl for you.

But never ever do things that are radically different then what you want to do just to get the girl. It may work on the short term. But in the end she'll fall in love with the person doing stuff that's totally unlike you, she won't fall in love with you. And in time she'll realize that you're not the person she thought you were and the whole thing will just fall apart.

 

[iRevanchist]

I've been in the same position as this girl, and it's always frustrated me when the guy in this situation can't take a bloody hint that I like him. If you continue to not make a move, she'll think you aren't interested, get frustrated, but move on. If you boldly, up-front, no-way-you can misinterpret-this kind of way tell her you like her and ask her out, then the chances of you two getting together are a lot higher. Sure, you could think "but what if it ruins our friendship?", but you don't want to get caught thinking 20 years from now "what could have been". My fantastic girl advice: tell her how you feel and ask her out.
She looked at you for a solid few seconds, without talking, during a movie. She wanted a kiss.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

All the cries of `Friendzoned, bro!` are funny to me. I was friends with my boyfriend for months before we started going out.

You are the 1%... That doesn't mean that everyone else should stay in miserable dependent friendzone-type relationships in case 3 years down the line she changes her mind, that's a waste of life, there are plenty of women out there.

I imagine it would be miserable, if you are the kind of guy who pins all his hopes and dreams on one woman, following her around pretending to be her friend while pining away at night. But those guys are not friends. I'm talking about someone who is, actually, your friend- who can pursue other people, but not rule out something more happening later on.

Yeah, you don't really know how men work, you cannot be a true friend to a girl that you are romantically and sexually attracted to, it is just not possible. You CAN be great friends with someone that you find fun, interesting but not attractive, but that's an entirely different thing.

Funny... I'm a dude, but apparently I don't know how men work. I'm on very friendly terms with a woman who very recently turned me down.

Maybe it's just you. You ever think of that? Maybe you're just immature and don't get how normal, healthy human relationships work.

 

[Ubermetalhed]

Just ask her straight. She'll either say yes or no.

If no just be a man brush it off and just look elsewhere for another girl. Sure be friends afterwards and such just don't put as much effort or thought into her or you'll get horribly attached and then bad things will happen. Which obviously you don't want. Although the bad stuff is a rather brutal but extremely valuable learning curve alot of people go through...

But anyway, yeh just ask her.