Another zombie attack in Florida

[Black Arrow Officer]

http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/news_archives/like-miami-zombie-face-eating-attack-charles-baker-gets-naked-eats-human-flesh-deputies-say

These attacks seem to be linked to me. The "zombies" behave in a similar fashion (biting human flesh, taking off clothes, refusing to cooperate with officers, animalistic behaviors) and all are reported to be on "substances".

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

 

[EscapeGoat_v1legacy]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house. Don't knock. [sub]There's a rifle trained at the door and a machete next to me leavemealone[/sub]

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house.

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

First thing I thought when I saw your avatar.

'If anyone would instigate the plan to build a nation encompassing wall, it would be Boris'

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

They say it's to do with bath salts right? Well, I've got a theory. These people must have been having a lovely bath when they inhale the fumes. Obviously, being in the bath, they won't have clothes on. Next will have run around outside quite a bit so that will explain how they've worked up quite an appetite. Lastly, if you found yourself outside, in the nude and bloody starving, I don't think you would be very cooperative either.

My totally serious theory.

Spoiler

Not really (You might not think this bit is needed but Poe's law and all that.)

 

[EscapeGoat_v1legacy]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house.

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

First thing I thought when I saw your avatar.

'If anyone would instigate the plan to build a nation encompassing wall, it would be Boris'

I'm pretty sure in the event of an international crisis like this Boris would just bumble into his office, press the big red button he keeps hidden behind his bike rack, grab his oik-smiting bar and walk onto his balcony, smiling to himself as the City of London raises itself on hydraulic legs and towers above the world, safe in the knowledge that neither zombies nor Ken Livingstone could reach him.

 

[Hazy992]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

 

[Doclector]

Honestly, it almost sounds like a plot for a lethal weapon sequel or something.

There's a similiar modus operandi here. I don't mean a zombie one, I mean, think about it. Naked+cannibalism. If it WERE zombies, you would've thought more of 'em would be clothed, but there is a pattern, a crazy one, but it's there.

Blast, if only I was a modern tv detective, then the camera would zoom into multiple things, then I'd say something about "She's at the warehouse!" and run out to dramatic music.

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house.

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

First thing I thought when I saw your avatar.

'If anyone would instigate the plan to build a nation encompassing wall, it would be Boris'

I'm pretty sure in the event of an international crisis like this Boris would just bumble into his office, press the big red button he keeps hidden behind his bike rack, grab his oik-smiting bar and walk onto his balcony, smiling to himself as the City of London raises itself on hydraulic legs and towers above the world, safe in the knowledge that neither zombies nor Ken Livingstone could reach him.

This is the best thing I have read today. And I would not be suprised if Boris could actually do that. As for the wall, nothing suspicious here! Just errr... building a wearhouse to store all that tea we like; a giant wearhouse the size of the country. Yes tea, that's what it's for.

 

[Hazy992]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

I dunno man, I still think laser turrets and cannons would be a wiser investment. What if the zombies learn how to use grappling hooks?

 

[Qwurty2.0]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

Hmm...

This is a problem indeed.

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

You know, even though we have zombies all over the place we still don't get tired of them. They just wont die![sub]I'm sorry I'll hit my self *smack* ow![/sub]

(Have we semi-derailed the thread?)

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

Hmm...

This is a problem indeed.

Looks like we're gonna need those laser turrets after all. (We British manage to make everything about ourselves don't we? No problem with that though. Just an observation. I suppose we've gotten pretty good at it.)

 

[Agent Cross]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

Hmm...

This is a problem indeed.

I should spoiler this to save precious space... but dear God I laughed way too hard!

*throws out cookies*

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

Hmm...

This is a problem indeed.

Looks like we're gonna need those laser turrets after all. (We British manage to make everything about ourselves don't we? No problem with that though. Just an observation. I suppose we've gotten pretty good at it.)

The US is fucked, this is clear by the apparent fact that they have zombies, and we don't.

We must save the best nation on the planet, so that future generations can grow up to have the best accents and comedy.

 

[TimeLord]

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house.

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

First thing I thought when I saw your avatar.

'If anyone would instigate the plan to build a nation encompassing wall, it would be Boris'

I'm pretty sure in the event of an international crisis like this Boris would just bumble into his office, press the big red button he keeps hidden behind his bike rack, grab his oik-smiting bar and walk onto his balcony, smiling to himself as the City of London raises itself on hydraulic legs and towers above the world, safe in the knowledge that neither zombies nor Ken Livingstone could reach him.

And this is exactly why he was re-elected as Mayor! Boris will save us!

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

Looks like we're gonna need those laser turrets after all. (We British manage to make everything about ourselves don't we? No problem with that though. Just an observation. I suppose we've gotten pretty good at it.)

The US is fucked, this clear by the apparent fact that they have zombies, and we don't.

We must save the best nation on the planet, so that future generations can grow up to have the best accents and comedy.

My god your right! Sorry America, but you've got to fend for yourselves. We promise we'll help once we've completely shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. You guys have guns though, I'm sure you'll be alright. [sub]No zey von't[/sub]

 

[Qwurty2.0]

Looks like we're gonna need those laser turrets after all. (We British manage to make everything about ourselves don't we? No problem with that though. Just an observation. I suppose we've gotten pretty good at it.)

The US is fucked, this clear by the apparent fact that they have zombies, and we don't.

We must save the best nation on the planet, so that future generations can grow up to have the best accents and comedy.

My god your right! Sorry America, but you've got to fend for yourselves. We promise we'll help once we've completely shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. You guys have guns though, I'm sure you'll be alright. [sub]No zey von't[/sub]

But once the zombies consume and convert everyone in the world, how will you hold off the undead masses?

No wall can withstand 6.5 billion zombies (not even one lined with lAz0Rz!1!)!