Any Trans Escapists?

[Verp]

what gender do you most identify with (or what gender were you raised as)?

I was raised as a female in the same way as my completely "normal" sisters, but I don't identify with females any more than I identify with males. I identify with other gender-neutral people like me.

socially, do you lean in one direction more than others (such as fashionwise, do you find yourself at all more comfortable wearing boy's clothes than girl's clothes, etc)
and did you ever get surgery to change your gender

Fashionwise, I lean towards men's clothes. This is mostly because I'm a very function-oriented person and as it happens, women's clothes tend to be impractical, horribly overpriced, and full of absolutely stupid things like frills, ornamental bead thingies, and fake pockets. Fake pockets! I mean, what the hell goes through a clothes manufacturer's mind when they'll go through the same trouble it would take to make actual pockets but instead make FAKE pockets so that the clothes APPEAR like they have pockets? I, just, WHAT. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. It's because of this kind of stuff that I usually check the men's side in a store before the women's side.

In general, I guess I'm more traditionally masculine than traditionally feminine because I'm a country bumpkin who's gotten used to trudging in cow shit, driving a tractor, and lifting heavy things.

Edit: Also, I haven't had surgery of any kind yet.

If you wonder what a person who's born with both sexes is called, that'd be 'intersexual'.

 

[Doitpow]

snips

How do you feel about how well/badly transgendered people are represented, in Finland and internationally...and (being the escapist) in games?
Got any trans role models?

 

[Verp]

snips

How do you feel about how well/badly transgendered people are represented, in Finland and internationally...and (being the escapist) in games?
Got any trans role models?

MtF and FtM get to be side attractions in soap operas and such, but other kinds are still not very well known and as such aren't usually represented even as a side attraction. Neither have I heard of any talk shows or documentaries commenting our existence. When it comes to video games, I haven't bumped into any examples of transsexuals/transgenders that I can think of, unless Birdo counts.

I don't have role models in general, even less trans role models. I don't really even hope for more transsexual characters in fiction as much as I wish for more gender-ambiguous (humanoid) characters. I know effeminate males are pretty much dime a dozen, but other examples are pretty hard to find.

Heh, I remember being disappointed when they decided to give Slippy a more recognisably male voice...

 

[Mullahgrrl]

Actually I am half woman, on my mothers side.

 

[StBishop]

I have a couple of questions? Almost all of which are realy personal and feel free to just not answer, everyone here seems pretty understanding of curiosity and doesn't seem to be getting offended.

1. Verp, in regards to your genitalia, would you prefer to have simply a urethra, as you mentioned that you're both asexual, and utilitarian. Also noticed that you said you're uncomfortable with both your reproductive organs and breasts.

2. Do you derive pleaseure from masturbation, if you've tried it?

3. Just to clarify my understanding, transsexual is not to do with sexuality, it's to do with, essentially, a dude born in a chick's body or visa versa, usually folowed by Hormone Replacement Therapy or Surgical Gender Realignment.
Transgendered is simply (or not so simply) being born in a chick's/dude's body but not being a chick/dude (Including being neither or a mixture?)
Correct?

4. Also clarifiying, the following terms are not to do with sexuality; transvestite (Crossdressing?), transsexual, trangender. Correct?

5. If someone were born in a male body, raise male, but identified as a lesbian female, what would they be called? The same question applies for a homosexual male in a female body.

6. Is there anyone who's undergone a gender realignment/sex change/Hormone replacement therapy FtM or MtF here who's been in a a relationship with someone who's heterosexual/homosexual (ie. not pansexual or bisexual) and (I'm having difficulty describing what I am thinking, my mind keeps saying "Normal" but I don't want to be offensive. Just like, a person who feels like they are how they were always meant to be. Does that make sense?) If so, did you tell them before you entered a relationship, has anyone been in the other side of this circumstance, ie. Attracted to one sex and been in a relationship with a MtF or FtM person?

I had more while I was reading the thread but I've forgotten some.

 

[Urahara]

FtM here, though currently pre-everything. I didn't think I'd find a thread like this on the Escapist, but I'm beyond impressed at how civil everyone is

Has anyone else had any trouble with gender stereotypes? I'm a pretty feminine guy, and while it doesn't bother me in the slightest I've had a few friends call me out on it and question if I'm "really trans" because I "Don't act like a man".

 

[jesskit]

hey StBishop, to most of your "is this corrent" yeah your pretty on the ball. Also trans people can be gay straight etc like transguys (FtM) can be straight going out with a girl (although my opinion is most trans people are simply queer and those say try to say im straight are boxing themselves back up after breaking down various gendered boxes), conversly a transgirl who likes girls could be a lesbian. Most trans people I know, eventually come to a realisation that who you are and who you like dont matter for labels (this may have come around because both me and my partner are trans, in an apparent straight relationship (mtf and ftm) and yet dont label ourselves as straight)

hehe urahara, people at work think my partner is a poof and then they remember hes going out with me then get all confused (the dont know hes trans they guess i am but most dont know)

 

[captainwolfos]

Well hello there!

I'm a girl and have been researching and/or considering female to male gender realignment treatment for nigh on 8 years. So I guess that makes me count for trans. Yay me.

Being from the UK I guess I could pursue it, especially considering I'm nearly 19 and amd generally my own person, but I have no job, live with my parents who haven't even come around to the fact I'm attracted to women (mostly due to the fact I refuse to admit it to them...), so this could take a while. It's a very long and expensive procedure.

My friends, however, are okay with it. Noone really cares, 'cause they all knoww I'm not exactly the most girly person in the world. There have been several occasions when people have mistaken me for a man, despite annoyingly large breasts. So, in that regard, I'm with you when you say that it feels like they shouldn't even be part of my body. I too have wondered what it would be like to have some sort of condition that would require removal of my breasts. I still do sometimes.

Ask me what you will, fellow Escapists. I am an open book.

 

[TehCookie]

My being transexual has to do with my outside body not matching internal sense of my body. I got that fixed.

I hear that a lot, but still has no idea what it means so could you elaborate? I don't understand the internal sense of gender, I'm a girl because my body says so. It has nothing to do with what I like or act and if I woke up with a penis there wouldn't be any difference to me. (Anyone else can feel free to answer that as well)

Also random question: If you could have a period every month would you? Even if you couldn't have a baby?

 

[trooper6]

I hear that a lot, but still has no idea what it means so could you elaborate? I don't understand the internal sense of gender, I'm a girl because my body says so. It has nothing to do with what I like or act and if I woke up with a penis there wouldn't be any difference to me. (Anyone else can feel free to answer that as well)

Also random question: If you could have a period every month would you? Even if you couldn't have a baby?

During and after World War 1, there was a lot of work done on what was called Phantom Limb Syndrome. Soldiers who lost limbs yet nonetheless could still feel pain in their legs (or still feel the legs in general) despite the fact that the leg was no longer there. In light of this, psychiatrists and doctors began to work on concept that there is a difference between the body and your brain's experience of that body.

So what makes you a girl isn't simply that your body says so. There is your body (which actually can be a complicated situation), and there is your brain's sense of your body. Current scientific study is indicated that there is a biological component to transexuality. In Utero, there are two hormone washes that help the fetus develop. The first one determines the body's sex, the second the brain sex. A transexual, as the current theories go, has something that goes wrong in between those two hormone washes. So, your brain chemisty experiences your body one way, and your body does something different. This causes body dysphoria. So the transexual who can afford it, takes steps to align the body with the brain.

This has nothing to do with what I like or what I act like. It has to do with a physical birth condition.

To your random question. I'm FtM, so your question doesn't apply to me. However, my Transwomen friends cycle their hormones in the same cycle as Assigned-Female-At-Birth women. So, while they don't shed menstrual blood, they have the emotional effects of a period. They could choose not to do this, but the transwomen I know do this.

 

[Rascarin]

I'm a cis-gendered, but I know a few trans people through my university's LGBT group. I know one M-F, and at least three F-Ms. And one, like the OP, who is gender neutral - they also happen to be my partner .

 

[Rascarin]

(I'm having difficulty describing what I am thinking, my mind keeps saying "Normal" but I don't want to be offensive. Just like, a person who feels like they are how they were always meant to be. Does that make sense?

If I'm understanding what you're asking, the phrase you're looking for is "cis-gendered". When gender identity matches physical sex.

 

[bdcjacko]

Hold on one second. Explain cis-gender to me like I am a moron. Because it sounds like you are the sex you are...which doesn't seem like you need a fancy word for normal, so I must be missing something. Not trying to be an ass, just this isn't clicking.

 

[trooper6]

Hold on one second. Explain cis-gender to me like I am a moron. Because it sounds like you are the sex you are...which doesn't seem like you need a fancy word for normal, so I must be missing something. Not trying to be an ass, just this isn't clicking.

Okay look at it this way.

If you said, "There are black people and normal people" (where when you say "normal" you mean white). That's offensive to non-white people.
If you said, "There are Europeans and normal people" (where by "normal" you mean American). That's offensive to non-Americans.

So you have the word transgender, which means crossing gender. In order not to be offensive by contrasting transgender with "normal," you can just use some other word. cisgender mean not-crossing gender. So that would describe people whose brain sex and body sex are in alignment.

Some folks will say non-transgender to mean those folks.

So here's the thing. I'm trans. And I'm still a normal person. I have a job, I have friends, etc. I'm not abnormal. I just happen to be trans and you happen to be cis. We can both be normal people.

 

[bdcjacko]

Hold on one second. Explain cis-gender to me like I am a moron. Because it sounds like you are the sex you are...which doesn't seem like you need a fancy word for normal, so I must be missing something. Not trying to be an ass, just this isn't clicking.

Okay look at it this way.

If you said, "There are black people and normal people" (where when you say "normal" you mean white). That's offensive to non-white people.
If you said, "There are Europeans and normal people" (where by "normal" you mean American). That's offensive to non-Americans.

So you have the word transgender, which means crossing gender. In order not to be offensive by contrasting transgender with "normal," you can just use some other word. cisgender mean not-crossing gender. So that would describe people whose brain sex and body sex are in alignment.

Some folks will say non-transgender to mean those folks.

So here's the thing. I'm trans. And I'm still a normal person. I have a job, I have friends, etc. I'm not abnormal. I just happen to be trans and you happen to be cis. We can both be normal people.

oooooooooooo, ok...I get it...but um...how do I say this with out being offensive. Um...I'm not cis-gendered, I'm a dude.

Also just so you know, I do prefer refering to people as people, not by racial, sexual or religious lines. I would say this is my friend Steve, never my gay atheist tranny friend Steve.

 

[trooper6]

oooooooooooo, ok...I get it...but um...how do I say this with out being offensive. Um...I'm not cis-gendered, I'm a dude.

Also just so you know, I do prefer refering to people as people, not by racial, sexual or religious lines. I would say this is my friend Steve, never my gay atheist tranny friend Steve.

Well, technically, you are a cis-gendered dude, but in casual conversation your birth assignment probably isn't going to come up...just like your example with your friend Steve.

You are a dude.
I am a dude.
Just like that. No big deal.

Now you and I go to a talk together and the talk is about Jazz.
Now let's say after this talk somebody comes up and says, "Hey, I saw you two dudes at the Jazz talk. Are you two jazz fans?"
I might say, "Yeah, I'm a jazz fan. But I tend to like pre-bop stuff a bit more."
You might say, "No, I'm a non-jazz fan. I just went to learn more about the music."
You wouldn't say, "No, I'm a normal music person. I just went to learn more about jazz."

Now lets say you and I go to a talk together and the talk is about Transgender Identities in Thailand.
Now let's say after this talk somebody comes up and says, "Hey, I saw you two dudes at the Transgender talk. Are you two transgender?"
I might say, "Yeah, I'm a transgender dude." (I might say, "None of your business.")
You might say, "No, I'm a cisgender dude." (You might say, "None of your business.")
It wouldn't be very polite to say, "No, I'm a dude."--or anything like "No, I'm a real dude" or "No, I'm a normal dude."
Because by saying "No, I'm a dude"...that implies I'm not a dude. Or that I'm not real or not normal. And I am a dude. Just a different kind of dude than you are.

When I talk to my friends tonight, I'm going to say, "I was on Escapist, and I was having a really nice conversation with this dude bdcjacko." I'm not going to say, "I was on Escapist, and I was having a really nice conversation with this cisgendered dude bdcjacko."--because your assigned birth gender isn't relevant to the conversation. If someone asks me, "Oh...you were talking to someone, was he trans?" I'll get really annoyed. I'd probably respond, "No, he's cisgendered. What does that have to do with anything?"

 

[bdcjacko]

oooooooooooo, ok...I get it...but um...how do I say this with out being offensive. Um...I'm not cis-gendered, I'm a dude.

Also just so you know, I do prefer refering to people as people, not by racial, sexual or religious lines. I would say this is my friend Steve, never my gay atheist tranny friend Steve.

Well, technically, you are a cis-gendered dude, but in casual conversation your birth assignment probably isn't going to come up...just like your example with your friend Steve.

You are a dude.
I am a dude.
Just like that. No big deal.

Now you and I go to a talk together and the talk is about Jazz.
Now let's say after this talk somebody comes up and says, "Hey, I saw you two dudes at the Jazz talk. Are you two jazz fans?"
I might say, "Yeah, I'm a jazz fan. But I tend to like pre-bop stuff a bit more."
You might say, "No, I'm a non-jazz fan. I just went to learn more about the music."
You wouldn't say, "No, I'm a normal music person. I just went to learn more about jazz."

Now lets say you and I go to a talk together and the talk is about Transgender Identities in Thailand.
Now let's say after this talk somebody comes up and says, "Hey, I saw you two dudes at the Transgender talk. Are you two transgender?"
I might say, "Yeah, I'm a transgender dude." (I might say, "None of your business.")
You might say, "No, I'm a cisgender dude." (You might say, "None of your business.")
It wouldn't be very polite to say, "No, I'm a dude. I just went to learn more about transgender stuff."
Because by saying "No, I'm a dude"...that implies I'm not a dude. And I am a dude. Just a different kind of dude than you are.

When I talk to my friends tonight, I'm going to say, "I was on Escapist, and I was having a really nice conversation with this dude bdcjacko." I'm not going to say, "I was on Escapist, and I was having a really nice conversation with this cisgendered dude bdcjacko."--because your assigned birth gender isn't relevant to the conversation. If someone asks me, "Oh...you were talking to someone, was he trans?" I'll get really annoyed. I'd probably respond, "No, he's cisgendered. What does that have to do with anything?"

While I see what you are saying, and I understand why such a thing is being attempted. But eventually us normies (not that I condone this) are going to make transgender into a dirty word the way we did with tranny and reject cisgender, which will force the transgender community to come up with a new term that isn't derogatory. So to me, it seems moot to do it, but then again I have very little vested in this fight and wish you all the luck.

Also we better be listening to Kansas City Jazz, not that godless New Orleans's Jazz.