Apologize on behalf of your country

[thompus]

Dear World,

I, Mack the Knife, apologise for nothing. My country is-and will always be-its little cesspit of problems, its carnival of drugs, football violence, backwardness and alcohol. A ramshackle nation strung together by swindling independance-wanting bastards, dole-dependant tosspots and bored stab-happy teenagers, presided over by a few honest taxpayers and the Nanny State.

But we are honest with ourselves; we know we are shit, and yet still try to do the best with what we have. We know we are the fattest, the meanest, the most pathetic, miserable, servile trash ever shat into existance. And yet we plough on, with none of England's arrogance, Irelands nationalism tripe, or the simple timidity of the Welsh.

So bring your insults and your woes. Bring your Tennants special ale, your expensive cigarettes and cheap booze. Bring your smack, your crack, your cocaine, your junk-food and no salad. Bring your perversions, your anger, your hate, your contempt for every other miserable fucking creature in this world, and love only the fast-track to early death of cancer or obesity.

Welcome to fucking Scotland; leave your sanity, your decency and your scruples at the door, and have a fucking great time.

-Mack the Knife.

...

[sub] This was all in good, if nasty, humour. I love my country. [/sub]

that was beuatiful, it brings a tears to my eyes lol

 

[kln]

On the behalf of Finland, I'd like to apologize for...

hell, why should I, you don't f'ing know we exist.

Okay, sorry for the Nokia tune, it's irritating as hell.

 

[Captain Bobbossa]

On the behalf of Finland, I'd like to apologize for...

hell, why should I, you don't f'ing know we exist.

Okay, sorry for the Nokia tune, it's irritating as hell.

The origional tune is spannish, nokia added the last note on the end and that's it.

 

[Mr Companion]

I will watch this thread waiting for an Englishman to apologize for Howard Webb's existence.

I.... Dont know who that is. But sorry anyway.
Im sorry we enslaved every black community we ever found, that was terribly rude of us. Good news is, now black people are everywhere! With their smooth voices and quick wit. So I guess something good tangentially came from it in the end.

I apologise for the gulf of Mexico being filled with oil, you guys seem to think that was us so im sorry. Anyway bp has gone bust now so we can all rest easier knowing our coastlines are safe.

Im sorry for Russell Brand having sex with your ladyfolk, That must get really annoying.

 

[Orsoeus]

On behalf of England, i aplogize for chav's. We screwed up there ill admit.

 

[Wondermint13]

Sorry about the Queen of England. She doesnt mean it, really, she's just very old..

 

[kln]

On the behalf of Finland, I'd like to apologize for...

hell, why should I, you don't f'ing know we exist.

Okay, sorry for the Nokia tune, it's irritating as hell.

The origional tune is spannish, nokia added the last note on the end and that's it.

Sorry Spain for making your tunes known worldwide.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

On behalf of Sweden, I apologize for the fact that your countries will never be the socialist/capitalist-hybrid paradises that we are, and you can not even hope to aspire to our greatness.

Also Basshunter and Crazy Frog. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.

The frog is swedish! You bastards!

I don't know if the frog can be forgiven

Sweden we , the world, hereby offer you forgiveness, if you still live up to the swedish-chick clichès, don't stop it and we are cool.

 

[kln]

On the behalf of Finland, I'd like to apologize for...

hell, why should I, you don't f'ing know we exist.

Okay, sorry for the Nokia tune, it's irritating as hell.

The origional tune is spannish, nokia added the last note on the end and that's it.

Sorry Spain for making your tunes known worldwide.

And also for calling your melodies irritating.

 

[MrJKapowey]

I apologise for believing that we were so good at football we didn't need to take part in the world cup for a while. We are certainly humble now.

I ALSO apologise because the only time we beat you it was done by WHUFC. Regarded as one of the worst teams in the premiership.

 

[Mr Companion]

On behalf of Russia, sorry for being so scary (it's unintentional).

I love scary Russia! If I were Russian, I would be patriotic as hell. England is fine, but Russia is a frosty powerhouse, driven by willpower and oil. Scary is all part of its charm.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

As a Canadian citizen, I dearly apologize for the birth of both Justin Bieber the undecided transsexual, and Celine Dion. As well as our tool of a Prime Minister, Stephen Harper.

..Also, if anyone has ever had the misfortune of imperfect Canadian Maple Syrup, I apologize for that as well. You are missing out.

 

[Orsoeus]

On behalf of Russia, sorry for being so scary (it's unintentional).

Dont worry about it, ive never been scared of a Russian. I dont think anyone has, i think its just in your heads.

 

[Popido]

Sorry for trolling Eurovision '06. It wasnt supposed to turn out that way...

 

[Originality]

On behalf of England, I apologise for our explorers taking most of Africa's gold.
On the other hand, I cannot apologise for chavs because the equivolent exists in every country I've visited so far (ranging from New York to Berlin to Seoul and several other cities inbetween).
I cannot apologise for guns and dynamite, since they existed in China long before we "developed" them.
I can however apologise for letting British football supporters travel to each World Cup venue to get drunk and voilent.
I also apologise on behalf of our world-level sports teams. Cricket, football, tennis...

 

[Edorf]

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Yeah, the vikings were pretty bad, but seriously, don't we have anything else to apologise for?

Oh, we do. I apologise on behalf of Norway for taking part of the slave trade.

Also, it's good to see that there are more Norwegians here now. Where have you guys been?

I've been lurking around here for a year or so! I just dont post very often ^^
also what is this slave trade you are talking about? ;O

Yeah, weactually sent a ship down too,

Ooooh, I guess we could also apologize for shitty 80s music aka A-ha *shivers*

 

[orangebandguy]

Having recently had some random Argentinian guy try to argue the Falklands with me I would like to apologise for a conflict I was not even part of.

Henceforth the islands shall be given to Belgium, because they could do with the shenanigans.

 

[ConstantJoe]

I, as an Irishman, apoligize wholeheartedly to the English for being a constant thorn in the backside and for centuries babbling on about all this "independence" nonsense.

 

[soulman999]

I, Soulman999 apologies for us germans, for killing about 50 million jews, starting 2 worldwars...and killing billion of people on behalf of taking over the world.
Yea...wish that never happend