Approaching a random girl at college?

[Belated]

Being a sensitive, mustachioed intellectual who's generally right [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.282803-Slut-Parade?page=10#11105289] about [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.297880-Homeless-man-gets-15-years-in-jail-for-100-CEO-gets-40-months-for-3-Billion?page=5#11808411] everything [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.297089-An-Open-Letter-to-the-Parents-Television-Council#11755590] and also owns an adorable pet dwarf hamster [http://img854.imageshack.us/img854/9125/hamster2.jpg], you'd assume that I'm probably also quite the ladies man. I regret to inform you, however, that this is not exactly the case. [http://lex-wrong.ytmnd.com/]

Ok, enough clever linking. The point is, I have no girlfriend. And I want one. Yet I'm socially awkward, and I'm not fat, but not exactly a hunk either. I'm also kind of a nerd. Now, I started college just today, and I scoped out the ladies, and there's quite a few cute ones. But now... I don't know what to do. I mean, how do you approach a random girl at college? I assume if I introduce myself to a random girl, my intentions would probably be pretty obvious from the start. I mean, one does not introduce himself to a random girl just to be friends, right?

So, what are some good ways to introduce myself to a random girl after class, or between classes? How does one break the ice, how does one properly stand, lean, sit, or gaze the first time approaching a girl? Also, how do I avoid looking creepy? When I try to smile on queue, I come out looking like this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h306vFHACP8]. And most importantly, what kinds of things should I say?

Ladies, your input would be especially helpful here.

 

[ddq5]

Yeah, join the club man.

I mean that in both the "I'm in the same boat" and the "actually join a club" sense. It's a lot better to get involved with some organizations in which there are chicks rather than approaching the attractive ones out of the blue. One of my female friends at university was approached by a guy who "wanted to tell [her] [she] looked beautiful". She was... not exactly thrilled about it, she being engaged to an entirely different dude. So it is pretty creepy to walk up to a lady and give unsolicited comments since both she and I agreed that the proper response would be to rape him. But of course, that's our solution to everything.

EDIT: My 404th post! Useful advice not found!

 

[SilentCom]

I wouldn't know considering I've never really tried introducing myself to a random girl. I think your motivation might be a little off unless you intend on hitting bars and clubs. In settings like college, it doesn't seem like people are trying too hard to hook up. If you want a girlfriend, then maybe you should just be yourself and if you happen to come across a girl you like with similar interests, then I guess opportunity calls. Otherwise, if you're going out of your way to gain a girlfriend, then it might come across as a little desperate.

Again, I'm no expert so my advice might not be so good.

 

[Rawne1980]

My advice is admittedly bad, only worked for me due to sheer luck and I manage to pull it off.

The random "fancy a coffee". I would say alcoholic beverage but unsure of your age and drinking laws where you are (not going to guess country incase i'm completely off).

Only reason i'd say alcoholic drink is it helps "relax" the mood, makes conversation flow easier as long as you don't consume too much.

But coffee worked for me aswell. A cafe is a nice neutral area to relax in and have a chat.

Helps if you can find out any interests you may share. Classes or music or books.

Humour is good aswell. Everyone likes a laugh as long as you don't take it to acting like a clown stage.

Same old story here though, be your damn self. I don't care if you're a nerd/baffoon/muppet/nervous wreck. You start acting like something else then you need to keep it up and if you do get the girl then she isn't with you for YOU she's with you for a perceived notion of you.

The only actual working advice I can give you is to do things in a way that is comfortable for you. If you don't like the direct approach then do it in a subtle manner. Find a conversation point and just talk. You don't need to go directly for the "kill" so to speak but an odd chat here and there and then ask if she fancies meeting up.

As long as you can stay in your comfort zone don't get yourself too worked up.

Always remember, if all else fails you can come and have a moan about it here.

 

[DannyJBeckett]

EDIT: My 404th post! Useful advice not found!

That's a good one. I lol'ed.

OT: I've had problems with this same issue. As I to am a sensetive, mustachioed (pseudo-intellectual) college-bound person, yet am also NOT a ladies man. I've been friend-zoned more than my fair share of times (once is enough, twice is soul-crushing and FIVE times makes you wonder if you're some kind of seven-nostrilled creature from the planet Zorfuug). Frankly the best advice has already been stated; be yourself, pluck up the courage in whatever way helps you feel more comfortable, and take it slow. There's no use in going for a tactic based around "Hi, you're amazing, let's run away together". No matter how many times it happens in cheesy movies, the whole whirlwind relationship thing really happens once in a solar-eclipse. Doubtless, there'll be some disappointments, and some girls may like you, but will NEVER like you in that way.

 

[Grand_Arcana]

Being a sensitive, mustachioed intellectual who's generally right [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.282803-Slut-Parade?page=10#11105289] about [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.297880-Homeless-man-gets-15-years-in-jail-for-100-CEO-gets-40-months-for-3-Billion?page=5#11808411] everything [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.297089-An-Open-Letter-to-the-Parents-Television-Council#11755590] and also owns an adorable pet dwarf hamster [http://img854.imageshack.us/img854/9125/hamster2.jpg], you'd assume that I'm probably also quite the ladies man. I regret to inform you, however, that this is not exactly the case. [http://lex-wrong.ytmnd.com/]

Ok, enough clever linking. The point is, I have no girlfriend. And I want one. Yet I'm socially awkward, and I'm not fat, but not exactly a hunk either. I'm also kind of a nerd. Now, I started college just today, and I scoped out the ladies, and there's quite a few cute ones. But now... I don't know what to do. I mean, how do you approach a random girl at college? I assume if I introduce myself to a random girl, my intentions would probably be pretty obvious from the start. I mean, one does not introduce himself to a random girl just to be friends, right?

So, what are some good ways to introduce myself to a random girl after class, or between classes? How does one break the ice, how does one properly stand, lean, sit, or gaze the first time approaching a girl? Also, how do I avoid looking creepy? When I try to smile on queue, I come out looking like this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h306vFHACP8]. And most importantly, what kinds of things should I say?

Ladies, your input would be especially helpful here.

Yeah I know how you feel. Don't worry about being a nerd, if you're taking certain classes together (natural sciences) it's likely she's a nerd as well.

EDIT: I've mostly taken science classes, but lab is an excellent opportunity to make (girl)friends.

 

[dertyqwerty]

Well here's your girl's POV:

I just started college today and it was boy swarm armageddon. Must guys used the easy "Where are you from/what are you majoring in?" and then convos can just start from there. If it's a girl in your class, it's a lot easier, since you can talk to them over a course of time, so you can ease into asking stuff like phone number or facebook or whatever. If it's just a cute girl walking in-between classes, fake like you don't know where a building is and ask her. Any random thing to just get a word in can help out tremendously. And if you see her again maybe go thank her for the help and catch her name. I just wouldn't suggest asking for too much personal info on the first encounter, then it just looks a little awkward (in my opinion, can't speak for all the ladies).

And even if you fail miserably and the girl thinks you're Captain Creeper, who cares, she doesn't know you and probably wont. College is a huge place with tons of people, most of whom are strangers to each other, so if you hit and miss, no one will know.

I hoped I've helped, kinda standard advice but meeting people in college seems absurdly easy. You seem like you've got a lot of good stuff going on, so I can't imagine you'll have too much trouble. Best of luck!

 

[Tanakh]

If you are a scientific mayor then you know that there's only one way to learn, by doing, so go there and talk to a bunch of random girls. And remember, for every 20 tries chances are that you are going to get 1 critical success.

 

[FllippinIDIOT]

be yourself and don't be a mustachioed intellectual who's generally right about everything. girls really hate that. And what toxbox said above about easing in conversation and getting to know someone is a good idea, shit doesn't happen instantly. Same with the whole big place with tons of people, even when you finish college there's tons of more people out there and you'll probably never see the people at your college ever again, except if you want to meet stay in contact with a several people you liked to be around.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

I've always been an advocate of the 'She's just a girl. Stop f*cking over-complicating it!' method. I know they can seem strange to us at times but girls are still human. As an ice-breaker, "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm ...... What's your name?" is pretty foolproof. It's not going to make her open her legs within 5 seconds admittedly, but neither is it going to make her turn and run in the opposite direction. Seriously, just be yourself. If you plan on dating a girl then she's going to get a measure of you as a person sooner or later anyway so what's the point in putting on any kind of act for the first encounter. Be polite and be interested in her (which you certainly seem like you could pull off without too much trouble) but beyond that you don't need a 'plan'. You're not trying to storm the Bastille here, you're trying to have a conversation. Yes, if the girl is smart chances are she'll twig that you're interested in her pretty quickly. If she's decent, then she'll be honest with you about weather or not she's interested. If she is, then congratulations. If not, then bad luck, but chances are it wasn't because you did anything wrong, sometimes they're just not interested. Time to start looking for someone else to approach.

God speed my friend

 

[Jake the Snake]

Join a club. Seriously. It's easiest way to people in the history of forever. And you know you're all interested in at least ONE of the same thing.

 

[LordSpectreX]

The best thing to do is to just become friends with girls. Obviously, it's not quite as easy as getting male friends, but it's not terribly difficult as long you're in the same class/share similar intests or something like that. Then you can always try when you're sure you're ready to make a move.

Plus, Girls like modest guys who don't talk them with the aim of getting in their pants. Even if you're not interesting in her romantically, she can always help you find someone else if she becomes good friends with you. Not to mention it's always good to have friends.

My personal advice is to not just go for a girlfriend for the sake of going for one. It's not bird mating season. All the decent girls aren't going to be taken in a month, and stay taken.