Are humans meant to be monogamous creatures?

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dvd_72

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Impswitch said:
OptimisticPessimist said:
We're not meant to be anything.
Kipohippo said:
OptimisticPessimist said:
We're not meant to be anything.
This sums it up quite nicely. We are only meant to survive and reproduce. And I would say we are doing a pretty damn good job at it.
Absolutely agreed. The biological imperative is to survive and reproduce, whatever we do other than that is a product of a decision made by the individual. It doesn't really matter whether or not a human biological imperative is to be monogamous or not, since we can choose to go against our biology.
I think the OP means what we are biologically meant to do, in which case I think we are not monogomous craetures.

On the other hand, we have evolved to a point where biological drives come (mostly) second to logic and/or societal pressures. This allows us, from what I can tell, to maintain a monogamus relationship for a time, sometimes untill death, but the biological "pressure" is what pushes so many people to cheat on thier partners. I guess it's much like some kind of internal peer pressure.
 

similar.squirrel

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Nope. We are far too intelligent to be expected to put up with another human being for the rest of our lives. Unlike, say.. Penguins or swans.
 

F'Angus

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Hell no. Humans are hateful beings that get bored of each other way to easily.
 

Astoria

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I believe we are. My grandparents met when they were 16 and would still be together today if my poppa didn't die. Not everyone is suited for it of course. I reckon the reason divorce rates are so high is that marriage has lost a lot of its meaning now so people don't take it as seriously as they used to.
 

Trolldor

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xxmyhero64xx said:
Ever since I heard word of my aunt and uncle getting divorced (two people who have been together since I can remember) I started wondering if human beings are really meant to stay with one other person till death. My parents are divorced after 20 years, I've seen relationships die after couples being together for years, and the divorce rate in America is 50%. It makes me wonder considering the physical goal of male humans is to spread the genetic seed as much as possible, does it do our species any good to just stay with one partner till death?
Nope, we are not. Monogomy is still recent even in civilisation.
Social development that acts contrary to biological development.
 

Hypertion

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in terms of biological design humans seem made for exactly the oppsite effect. Humans are really odd in the fact we dont have peroids of fertility to the extent of other animals who are fertile only a tiny percent of the time the typical human female is. i cant really fully explain it all without a wall of text and easly more than 10 minutes of my time so i will say this.

the only Reason for that mindset is the fact it is a mindset. humans are extreme social creatures which biologically support a non life partner style. but we have developed culture that quite frankly seems afraid of what we are and attempts to be more than the rest of the creatures of the world. most of us want more meaning beyond making babies in a relationship so we focus on the "life partner" to try to create more meaning.

I for one find alot of it weird but i was also raised in such a way i still want to be a part of the norm.
 

LostTimeLady

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Not to bring out the gender differences card (I'm sure it's already been played) but women are wired more towards monogamy than men are. This is a matter of creating a stable environment for children to be brought up in. Men, on the other hand, are wired a bit more like the alpha male of a lion pack, they're all about 'spreading their seed'. But that's biologically. Emotionally I think humans are inclined towards monogamy.
Even when someone gets devorced after years they are likely to move from one monogamous relationship to another. True pologamy is rare from what I can tell (in western culture at least), which is different from just 'playing the field' in my opinion.

If you want any more proof that monogamy is good for your health, it's been scientifically proven that married men live longer (and I don't think that's just because they're less likely to get food poisoning cos someone else is cooking for them!).
 

Nabirius

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There is a very odd double standard present in our basic psychology. We all wish to have multiple attractive partners, yet we all want our partners to remain loyal to us. Sexually I doubt it highly. Emotionally I don't know, I find both ideas equally likely.
 

ApeShapeDeity

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Bara_no_Hime said:
We're primates, and the males of our species have a moderate testicular size compared to their bodies.

Therefore we are capable of monogamy, but we aren't particularly good at it. We're the half-way point between Chimps (who will screw anything that moves) and Gorillas (who are monogamous).

Lesson of the day: Guys, it's not the size of your penis that counts. It's the size of your balls compared to the rest of your body. At least as far as monogamy is concerned.
Video evidence of the chimp thing... Spoiler'd cos it's gross.


Edit: make what you will of my avatar...
 

liquidangry

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evilthecat said:
The fact is that we have no idea of the extent to which human behaviours are influenced by biological need. There is no hard evidence. Anyone telling you there is is either using incredibly bad science or outright making it up.
Everything (cultural pressures included) are influenced by biological needs because there are no other needs. English, computers, and everything else. Your body wants to survive. Communication and problem solving has made it the best creature at that on the planet.

evilthecat said:
Are you a unique cultureless human being capable of utterly disentangling yourself from social pressures in order to experience your underlying biological urges?
Yes, I am. jk, but you don't need to do this in order to think critically as to why your culture or others are the way they are.

Damura said:
So how do you explain cultures where polygamy is the norm?
A man taking multiple wives... yeah, how is that against what I said? That would be in favor of my argument. A male laying claim on multiple women is like a alpha male ape laying claim on all the females of the group. Did you even read what I wrote?
 

Paragon Fury

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In nature, polygamy tends to benefit males of a species. Monogamy benefits females of a species.

In humans, this would still be true, had we not evolved the ability to think about these kinds of things.
 

nielklot

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I have been married to the same woman for 30 years. 15 years of that has been virtually sexless (constant battles with cancer). I don't know if man is meant to be monogamous but I dearly miss the physical closeness of a woman who wants me. I promised to her the day I married her I would be faithful and have been and probably always will be though my life will only be half lived. If I lived under different societal conditions who knows if I would act the same? Anyway my vote is with OptimisticPessimist - were not meant to be anything.
 

Terminal Blue

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liquidangry said:
evilthecat said:
The fact is that we have no idea of the extent to which human behaviours are influenced by biological need. There is no hard evidence. Anyone telling you there is is either using incredibly bad science or outright making it up.
Everything (cultural pressures included) are influenced by biological needs because there are no other needs. English, computers, and everything else. Your body wants to survive. Communication and problem solving has made it the best creature at that on the planet.
You can't really make that assertion. It's a cop out argument on the level of 'a wizard did it'.

Language in and of itself allows human desires and cultural practices to be extremely complicated. Even the rule that 'everyone wants to survive' has been negated on countless occasions by cultural pressures or needs.

Assuming some kind of ultimate intention which is always clearly fulfilled is not possible. Increasingly, as psychology begins to probe understanding of the underlying motives human behaviour one consistent assertion has come out, that it's never an uncomplicated input-output system, that there is always struggle and contest and insecurity.

liquidangry said:
Yes, I am. jk, but you don't need to do this in order to think critically as to why your culture or others are the way they are.
No, but you do need it to uncritically assume that all human culture is reliant on a single factor which no human being (save perhaps the occasional child raised without human intervention, and I'd advise you to look up those cases) can ever experience.

liquidangry said:
Damura said:
So how do you explain cultures where polygamy is the norm?
A man taking multiple wives... yeah, how is that against what I said? That would be in favor of my argument. A male laying claim on multiple women is like a alpha male ape laying claim on all the females of the group. Did you even read what I wrote?
What about the reverse, there are cultures in which one woman marries a group of men.

Heck, what about cultures where older men orally inseminate all the young boys in a group every day until they reach adulthood?

What about cultures where a woman isn't considered married until she's borne a child with her bridgroom's father's formally sanctioned best friend?

Or where she's had sex with every member of his family (and the semen collected to be used in same-sex practices during initiation ceremonies for young men?)

Anthropologists (historically at least) love this shit. It's quite well documented. Do you see how incredibly uncritical it is to suggest that all these things are essentially reliant on the same biological 'intention', as if there's one stable intended pattern for human sexuality?
 

Custard_Angel

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Personally, I'm a fan of monogamy.

I can't say everyone needs to live like that, but it works pretty well in my experience, and my experience is the only one I'm qualified to discuss.
 

Detective Prince

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Impswitch said:
Absolutely agreed. The biological imperative is to survive and reproduce, whatever we do other than that is a product of a decision made by the individual. It doesn't really matter whether or not a human biological imperative is to be monogamous or not, since we can choose to go against our biology.
I'm sure you just made a really intelligent point but...I couldn't read through it all as that kitten is too adorable and I kept staring at it. XD

OT: I'm not sure our brains were made to comprehend "You must be with lots of people" or "You must be with one person". But that's just me. XD
 

liquidangry

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evilthecat said:
You can't really make that assertion. It's a cop out argument on the level of 'a wizard did it'.

Language in and of itself allows human desires and cultural practices to be extremely complicated. Even the rule that 'everyone wants to survive' has been negated on countless occasions by cultural pressures or needs.
No, this is a cop-out argument of pure fallacy and born of human arrogance. Just because it seems complicated doesn't mean anything. That's some bullshit creationist logic you're spouting. Everyone does want to survive. Whether that's trampling the guy in front of you to get the last cabbage patch doll for your child or via self sacrifice by jumping in front of a bullet for a stranger. Social behavior and engineering is passed down along with physical traits. We've studied apes and proven this by changing their tribe mechanics and they get passed down through generations along with new behaviors that are learned all the time.

evilthecat said:
Assuming some kind of ultimate intention which is always clearly fulfilled is not possible. Increasingly, as psychology begins to probe understanding of the underlying motives human behaviour one consistent assertion has come out, that it's never an uncomplicated input-output system, that there is always struggle and contest and insecurity.
Did I suggest there were ultimate intentions? No, I didn't, except the need to survive to pass traits and behaviors down. The diversity of life on the planet should be proof positive enough that's not what I think. Also, who said anything about behavior being an input output system? Is there a third party you're arguing against?


evilthecat said:
No, but you do need it to uncritically assume that all human culture is reliant on a single factor which no human being (save perhaps the occasional child raised without human intervention, and I'd advise you to look up those cases) can ever experience.
This has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. Every factor was born from the basest of needs -- survival. Everything has evolved out of that. That's is all that I'm saying... For instance, if there was a tribe of people who ritualistically gouged their own eyes out at birth, then they probably wouldn't last that long. Which is why you don't see eye gouging as a cultural practice. It doesn't make sense biologically. This is not to say that strange seemingly counter-productive practices don't arise ever, but rather that they are always attached to a pro-biological need. FGM is one of them. (I AM NOT SUPPORTING FGM JUST STATING WHY IT EXISTS) Men want the assurance that their wives are clean and won't have another man's children, so they remove their ability to do so before marriage by sewing up their vagina and remove most nerve endings that would give them pleasure from sex. It's fucked up, but that IS a purely biological reason even if some die from this.


evilthecat said:
liquidangry said:
Damura said:
So how do you explain cultures where polygamy is the norm?
A man taking multiple wives... yeah, how is that against what I said? That would be in favor of my argument. A male laying claim on multiple women is like a alpha male ape laying claim on all the females of the group. Did you even read what I wrote?
What about the reverse, there are cultures in which one woman marries a group of men.

Heck, what about cultures where older men orally inseminate all the young boys in a group every day until they reach adulthood?

What about cultures where a woman isn't considered married until she's borne a child with her bridgroom's father's formally sanctioned best friend?

Or where she's had sex with every member of his family (and the semen collected to be used in same-sex practices during initiation ceremonies for young men?)
Anthropologists (historically at least) love this shit. It's quite well documented. Do you see how incredibly uncritical it is to suggest that all these things are essentially reliant on the same biological 'intention', as if there's one stable intended pattern for human sexuality?
None of this, absolutely none of this is in contest with what I stated. You seem to have no understanding of what I'm arguing for or against and I don't know how to explain it better. Emergent/learned behaviors don't counter my argument whatsoever. I could easily chalk all these up to social bonding practices. Social bonding is important for human survival along with all other primates and social animals. If it doesn't impede or strengthens your ability to survive, reproduce or work with others then the traits/behaviors will be passed on. I'm not saying anything is right or wrong, merely stating what the driving factor of such behaviors continuing or existing is.

Look at my original post -- I said that the answer to the OP's question was yes AND no and that although seemingly contradictory, they aren't. That was all I was trying to state. We are not the super complicated beings you think we are. We're animals, no more complicated or different in any way. We just followed a different path and benefited from it. Again, I am making NO commentary on cultures or practices. Just stating why they exist and are why they are the way they are.