Are Man-crushes normal?

[Damien Granz]

Now, to clarify, this is not synonymous with 'Are gays/homophobes all evil?' This is about a straight man (or even woman) having one or more romantic crush/es on members of the same sex.

I mentioned once to my girlfriend that I had little crushes on a friend I have, (the young) John Lennon, and John Barrowman's coat. I also once... Experimented with a bloke I know. I am neither ashamed nor proud of that moment, and we are still friends, so as far as I can say, it was just 'an experience.' One that changed my 'interested in' on Facebook for precisely three months.
Anyway, my girlfriend brought this up (with a small amount of disgust, and sparing no details) in a conversation with my parents. Not to ramble about my own life, but I wish she'd take a hint sometimes.

Anyway, I publicly announced all that just to ask a very broad question; was I really all that weird? Or was my girlfriend blowing it all out of proportion?

Experimenting and stuff isn't that big of a deal. It doesn't make you bi or gay or anything like that, and even if you liked it, it's not like that there should be problem with it if you were. Just like what you like. If that makes you straight or bi or whatever, so be it. If you like it, like it. If not, don't. If you crush on a man, whatever. If not, that's fine too.

It's more important you be you, than you be sure what box to check in for a survey.

 

[TheLaofKazi]

(Irony free, and I'm not being ironic when I say that) :

There you go! You made me laugh.

Also, I believe you snatched that up after I put it up into the collective consciousness. I'm like Colbert, I copywrite everything, so I'm afraid Imma have to charge you for that one.

Shit, I like you now. How did you do that?

Oh shit, you got me! I've been stealing ideas from the collective consciousness for years now. But I'm afraid you don't own the ideas of the collective consciousness. Media corporations do, and we must all pay for using their ideas.

 

[zehydra]

Normal and most times man crushes aren't related to sexuality at all most men like other men because of the way they are

then it isn't a crush.

 

[daftalchemist]

I love my best friend from 8th grade. We're both chicks, and she's not even physically attractive, but she's the greatest girl I've ever known. I only consider myself straight because of the intensity with which I love penises, but there's no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be opposed to at least making out with her. So I'd say it's normal to have same-sex crushes on specific individuals. But even if it wasn't "normal", I still wouldn't care because it's normal for me.

Shame she's getting married next year. Though I suppose her husband wouldn't mind anyway.

 

[Shirastro]

I have man crushes all the time.
I fantasize about them, i check them out, and i frequently have sex with them.

It might have something to do with the fact that i am gay

 

[zehydra]

"Whilst it's entirely possible that if I were gay my sexual attractions might change, the fact is that being gay wouldn't change my personal opinions on what is and isn't attractive."

I'm having a hard time understanding why this isn't a contradiction

See, you're reading 'attraction' and 'sexual attraction' as one and the same. I'll repeat: Whilst I'm capable of pointing out that a man is handome and has attractive features, that doesn't stirr any sexual feelings inside of me. On the other hand my fiancée is both beautiful and sexually attractive to me.

Just because I can appreciate how good looking someone is on a personal level doesn't mean I want to shag them. To be gay would require me to be sexually attracted to men. What I'm stating is that my perceptions of 'handsome' is pre-defined, as I already understand and believe that some men are attractive.

Infact, pretty much the same applies to being straight. People have their own personal opinions of what beauty is and it varies, person to person. My personal tastes are that exactly: personal.

How is that hard to understand?

Not that difficult, to answer your question.

Let me look back at your first post a sec.

"I'm completely straight, I can safely admit that if I were attracted to men, that would be my type in the looks department."

since you've already stated that your attraction for him is on a non-sexual level, then why would he be "your type" if you were gay?

 

[Aircross]

I'm straight, but I can appreciate the human form for both genders.

 

[Azure-Supernova]

Not that difficult, to answer your question.

Let me look back at your first post a sec.

"I'm completely straight, I can safely admit that if I were attracted to men, that would be my type in the looks department."

since you've already stated that your attraction for him is on a non-sexual level, then why would he be "your type" if you were gay?

The fact of the matter is that I'm not sexually attracted to men. But despite that I can identify what I have determined to be attractive traits in males, logically those attractions would carry over into, if not directly influence, the change in sexual orientation.

It's so incredibly simple, yet you're making sexuality out to be some great quandary. Perhaps it's because I view sexuality to be such an open prospect rather than divided strictly between homo and heterosexual. Let me put it like this:

Except you have no possible way of knowing what you'd find attractive in a man, if you were attracted to men (other than by looking at what other gays find attractive, or something).

You make it out as if the only way for a man to identify handome features and attractiveness in another man is for him to be gay.

With that said, let's just agree to disagree because this is going to go nowhere. We have different views on the openness of sexuality and the capabilities and limits to which a straight individual can spot attractive members of the same sex. Different societies and upbringings are bound to bring up these disputes, so let's just leave it at that.

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

Wow. You share an intimate detail and she uses it against you for no good discernable reason. And in front of your family no less. Sounds like a real keeper.

Actually it sounds a lot like my last girlfriend. Her name isn't ... err, nevermind.

 

[Sarah Frazier]

Now, to clarify, this is not synonymous with 'Are gays/homophobes all evil?' This is about a straight man (or even woman) having one or more romantic crush/es on members of the same sex.

I mentioned once to my girlfriend that I had little crushes on a friend I have, (the young) John Lennon, and John Barrowman's coat. I also once... Experimented with a bloke I know. I am neither ashamed nor proud of that moment, and we are still friends, so as far as I can say, it was just 'an experience.' One that changed my 'interested in' on Facebook for precisely three months.
Anyway, my girlfriend brought this up (with a small amount of disgust, and sparing no details) in a conversation with my parents. Not to ramble about my own life, but I wish she'd take a hint sometimes.

Anyway, I publicly announced all that just to ask a very broad question; was I really all that weird? Or was my girlfriend blowing it all out of proportion?

Feeling like you have 'a little crush' on someone else of the same sex isn't a bad thing at all. Depending on who that person is and what they do it may just be more a case of being a fan of their work or a deep appreciation of what they do. It's more likely to be something else if you'd actually want to make out with them if given the chance, though.

If your girlfriend really did give details about your personal feelings and past experimentation with the same gender (I didn't delve too deeply in this thread for any more details. Sorry.) then that was going too far. What your parents learn about you should be yours to decide because who knows better than YOU about how they'd react to such things? She could have caused serious damage to the relationship between you and your parents without knowing it.

Personally, I think everyone gets some kind of little crush on other people from time to time. Some people change who is the target of said 'crush', some people simply outgrow the feeling or start calling it something else, and others... Others turn into the kind of screaming lunatics who plaster their bedroom walls with posters of their 'crush', buy all possible merchandise that has their face on it, and squeal like a cat with its tail caught in the door whenever their name is mentioned.

 

[ImperialSunlight]

Well, I've had crushes on women before in a romantic sense and I'm very, very gay. So I don't think that's weird at all (not that I'm not weird but you know what I mean )

 

[xochiquetzal]

In my particular circle of friends you're not straight unless you've tried gay.

but to answer your query...

no it's not weird or uncommon

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Hell Yeah. I mean, I don't think about Simon Pegg sexually, but I'm in "love" with that man. He is so awesome to me. I think it might be more like hero worship...as another user had said earlier.

 

[hooksashands]

snip

You calm down. I'm not the one looking for excuses to Report people.

If my use of the word 'obvious' annoys you, I can assure you your dragging me into a pointless nitpicky bullshit argument about it annoys me 10 times as much. So let's call it even.

 

[Mondai Randy]

I find it to be normal, I have a man crush on Cillian Murphy

 

[funguy2121]

snip

You calm down. I'm not the one looking for excuses to Report people.

If my use of the word 'obvious' annoys you, I can assure you your dragging me into a pointless nitpicky bullshit argument about it annoys me 10 times as much. So let's call it even.

I suppose I could resort to namecalling and, as you put it, pointless nitpicking, but I suspect you'd enjoy drawing me into such a scuffle. Instead, I'll just suggest that you not insult people and manufacture accusations if you don't want to be reported. My point was and remains valid. I even complimented the object of your crush, who's acting I'm quite fond of. But you're still starving for a fight. I used to do this with my little sister. 15 years ago. I can't do it anymore, because I can't kid myself about how juvenile it is.

So if you really want it, you can have it. You win the argument.

 

[hooksashands]

snip

snip

I suppose I could resort to namecalling and, as you put it, pointless nitpicking, but I suspect you'd enjoy drawing me into such a scuffle. Instead, I'll just suggest that you not insult people and manufacture accusations if you don't want to be reported. My point was and remains valid. I even complimented the object of your crush, who's acting I'm quite fond of. But you're still starving for a fight. I used to do this with my little sister. 15 years ago. I can't do it anymore, because I can't kid myself about how juvenile it is.

So if you really want it, you can have it. You win the argument.

There was never an argument to win, nor a point to be made. This is not a serious debate, and you are mad at me for no other reason than I didn't mistake your soapbox stand for an insightful golden nugget. I'm through giving a shit anymore. So go ahead, cry to the powers that be when someone doesn't agree with you on the internet, then turn around and un-ironically point out how immature I'm acting.

El oh fuckin el, dude. Damn.