Are people too hard on smokers?

[Harrowdown]

People believe, or have been taught, that smoking is a dreadful habit. Certainly it's not good for you, but neither is drinking or eating chocolate. It's an arbitrary social stigma that's developed from years of increasing health warnings and anti smoking campaigning.

 

[remnant_phoenix]

I'm one of those perpetual non-smokers who can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke and doesn't understand the appeal of smoking, but yes, I think that some people are too hard on smokers.

As far as dating goes, I generally don't think it's too harsh for smoking to be a deal-breaker. In that kind of relationship, there's going to be physical component, specifically in this case, kissing. If the smell/taste of cigarette smoke is a turn-off, then that is going to turn-off the physical attraction.

Now, if a non-smoker feels that they have a strong emotional, mental, intellectual, or spiritual connection with a smoker, and they're going to miss out on what could be a great relationship because they can't overcome the smoking turn-off factor, then that's unfortunate. But, just looking at it realistically, physical attraction is important in dating relationships. Romantic love generally can't exist without physical attraction, and some people, like me, find smoking REALLY unattractive.

As far as friendship goes, the only way I could see it being a deal-breaker is one or both of the people involved are inconsiderate.

I had a great friendship with a smoker in the past because we were both considerate about it. When we first met, he asked me if I smoked, if I had any breathing problems, if I didn't like the smell, etc. On the flipped side, I was considerate of the fact that he occasionally wanted/needed to go outside and smoke, and if we were playing video games or watching a movie I was perfectly willing to put that on hold, go outside, and hang out and talk with him while he smoked. When we went outside, he was careful to stay downwind and make sure that his smoke wasn't blowing on me, and even when it was warm and humid outside, I didn't being out of the A/C because I liked hanging out and talking with him more than staying cool.

On the other hand, a different friend once a had a roommate who had no consideration for where his smoke was. He'd smoke indoors. He never asked if I was bothered by smoke. Sometimes he'd blow his smoke right at me. Not on purpose I think, but just because it didn't once occur to him that it might bother me. I don't think I could be friends with that guy. Not because of the smoking particularly, but because of his inconsiderate nature (that just happened to manifest through his smoking).

In conclusion...

Smoking as a dating deal-breaker? Unfortunate, but understandable. The people involved can probably make it work if they're really willing to do so and compromise, but sharing a kissing mouth with cigarettes, is, to me and many others, just gross.

Smoking as a friendship deal-breaker? That's completely unnecessary. I've experienced first-hand that with a little consideration on both sides, a smoker and a non-smoker can be great friends without either having to give up the kind of air that they choose to inhale.

 

[LordOmnit]

One of the things that seems to come up time and time again is the health risks, and I think some of you have bought into hysteria about passive smoking- it requires repeated exposure in a enclosed environmnent- if you pass someone in the street whos having a fag your not gonna spontaneously develop emphysema- it takes years for those who are actually doing the smoking themselves to get it for fucks sake.
And as for personal health risks, why is it any of your concern what I do with my body?

It doesn't matter if I'm not actually going to have life-long aftereffects from passing someone smoking, I don't want to have to breath in that crap anyways. Sure, some people are more or less immune to being bothered by tobacco smoke, but there are also those like me who immediately feel ill and can't breath well (side note: this occurs just as much outside if I'm even several meters away from someone who is smoking unless there is a fairly strong breeze away from me. My father and I both have always had this problem in that we are hyper-sensitive to tobacco smoke). So the point isn't that someone is doing me significant bodily harm, but that they are infringing on somewhere they have absolutely no right to infringe on- my body.
As a not exactly equivalent example, imagine if someone was going about their business walking down the street, but was doing so while waving fly-swatters around. Not very hard and they were making a conscious effort to not hit anyone in any sensitive spots, but they were still slapping people. Sure, the difference here is that they are hitting other people with a solid object, but this only has a chance of startling people.
As for the, "Why is it any of your concern what I do with my body?" issue- in reality, it isn't. But how about this; what does it say about someone who consciously choses and continues a habit that will cause *list of all health-risks associated with smoking goes here* to themselves? Not any good things. Also, unless that one only ever smokes when they are by themselves or otherwise try to avoid smoking around other people as much as possible, they are knowingly harming/causing discomfort to the people around themselves. Again, says no good things about the person. They may be the most wonderful person in the world- otherwise.

 

[Blow_Pop]

Because for some of us it affects us medically. I am friends with people who smoke but they aren't allowed in my car. I live with someone who smokes and she stays away from me. The smell of the smoke aggravates my asthma. Personally I like being able to breathe and not feel like I'm dying because my lungs are closing up. And I use to smoke too. I find it to be a disgusting habit and its a deal breaker if I'm going to date you and you smoke. I think it all just winds down to personal preference and how you were raised.

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

As someone who is allergic to cigarette smoke, and has severe asthma... I daresay I'm perfectly justified in making smoking a deal-breaker. Even passing someone smoking on the street sends me into a coughing fit and makes me have difficulties breathing.

So, yeah, smoking's a dealbreaker for me. If it was just something that only harmed them, but made them "feel good," I'd be more or less indifferent. Something that actively, physically harms me if I do nothing more than walk by a smoker on the street is not something I'm indifferent to.

 

[Brainst0rm]

No.

Second-hand smoke is more deadly to the people around you than it is to you.

It makes everything you own stink to high-heaven, gives you perpetually bad breath, and is guaranteed to kill you sooner or later.

Not to mention it's been coming back lately. For goodness sake - smoking is not COOL. It's SUICIDE.

 

[Lilani]

In my experience, too many smokers fully realise how annoying their habit is to others. People smoking makes my eyes hurt, and I can smell the stench up to an hour later if someone smoked somewhere indoors.

To name you one example, I've gotten into an altercation with some idiot who was smoking right outside the exit of the hospital, right under a sign saying smoking is prohibited.

Was he outdoors and the sign referring to indoors? How small was the exit that your wife couldn't walk around him? Your story isn't too clear. Because its kind of painting you as the more militant one. non smoker here just so you know.

Last I checked, most hospitals have very strict rules on smoking now. They don't just want you to smoke outside--they want you to be a certain distance from the building, too. I know at my local hospital you have to either enter the parking lot or cross the street to smoke. And I've even heard of some hospitals that have it completely banned on all grounds that belong to the hospital.

 

[Togs]

It doesn't matter if I'm not actually going to have life-long aftereffects from passing someone smoking, I don't want to have to breath in that crap anyways. Sure, some people are more or less immune to being bothered by tobacco smoke, but there are also those like me who immediately feel ill and can't breath well (side note: this occurs just as much outside if I'm even several meters away from someone who is smoking unless there is a fairly strong breeze away from me. My father and I both have always had this problem in that we are hyper-sensitive to tobacco smoke). So the point isn't that someone is doing me significant bodily harm, but that they are infringing on somewhere they have absolutely no right to infringe on- my body.

Then stay away from them- people have similar reactions to dogs, peanut butter and all manner of other things, would you expect people to not walk their dogs in public areas if you were allergic?

As for the, "Why is it any of your concern what I do with my body?" issue- in reality, it isn't. But how about this; what does it say about someone who consciously choses and continues a habit that will cause *list of all health-risks associated with smoking goes here* to themselves? Not any good things. Also, unless that one only ever smokes when they are by themselves or otherwise try to avoid smoking around other people as much as possible, they are knowingly harming/causing discomfort to the people around themselves. Again, says no good things about the person. They may be the most wonderful person in the world- otherwise.

there are health risks associated with everything- eating too much, not getting enough exercise, driving, walking and hundreds of other things- why do people still choose to do them? Why do people engage in risky sports?
As for your point "there still harming those around them"- Ive already answered that, reread my previous posts.

 

[thefrizzlefry]

In my experience, people are nowhere near as hardline about smoking irl as they are on the internet. Like, I know a lot of people who claimed to be in the "lol I wud nvr b friends wit a smokr lol" crowd, and yet they still hang out with me.
OT: Yeah, smokers get a lot of hate. I mean, shit, we're one of the go-to boogeyman for politicians to demonize when they want to avoid talking about real issues.

 

[TheKmanofAwesometon]

No.
I have had 3 relatives suffer from smoking, one of which was also a alcoholic, who died many years ago. The other 2 now have different types of cancer. It hurts the people around you, and the smoker as well, I can never bring myself to be OK with it.

 

[Sarahcidal]

My husband smoked when I first met him, and continued to smoke for 8 years (he just quit a month ago) and people were always simply repulsed when I would kiss him if he had a cigarette... "ohmygawd! doesnt that taste like an ashtray??" or they would say things like "UGH!! how could you MARRY/DATE a SMOKER??" ...um because hes awesome? lol
I dont understand why people hate on smokers so much. Yeah it's unhealthy and a bit smelly, but it's not a huge deal.

I have had relatives die from lung cancer, so I understand the severity of issues it can cause.. But many other unhealthy lifestyle choices can cause equally severe issues.

Everyone has their flaws.. and frankly like 90% of the people who would freak on me for "UGH MARRYING a SMOKER" were obese. That's unhealthy too Einstein lol... just sayin.
...anywho, I've always been a non-smoker but smokers have never repulsed me so I suppose I just dont understand why so many get treated like lepers.

 

[Nimzabaat]

Smokers attempt to kill people around them because they just don't care. That is the main issue that I have. If I walked out onto a street corner, closed my eyes, and fired a gun in a couple random directions I would be arrested. Yet smokers get away with something as reckless and not nearly as painless. (Yes i've watched people die of lung cancer, it's hideous and i'd take a bullet any day. Even in a non-vital area that just makes me bleed to death over a protracted time. With people feeding me occasionally to draw it out.) Though I get some small satisfaction in that Christians and Catholics that smoke fall under the "suicide" clause in those religions. Even if something else kills them, they still tried

 

[EvilEggCracker]

I love smoking. I really enjoy it. But I'm not gonna convince anyone of that now, am I?

"A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?" ~Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

"There's a lot of people who, a cigarette is about the only vacation they have." ~Trey Parker

"Good food, good sex, good digestion, good sleep: to these basic animal pleasures, man has added nothing but the good cigarette" - Mignon McLaughlin

"I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker.... but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table." ~Michelle Pfeiffer

"To some, the cigarette is a portable therapist." ~Terri Guillemets

I smoke a lot, used to smoke packs but moved onto rollies when the price was raised (living in the UK here). That annoyed me - 6 quid for a pack of smokes is ludicrous. Luckily tobacco itself is really cheap. Puff puff puff.

 

[Joel Soh]

From my experiences, many smokers are actually great, outgoing and fun people. Sure, they damage themselves and the people around them but I feel hate is too strong.

It does make me wonder why cigarettes are legal (probably the tax on them) and why they don't change what's in them to be... non-fatal over the long term?

 

[Daddy Go Bot]

I think smokers are generally quite polite. Always askin' me if mind them having a smoke n shit.

 

[Herbsk]

To those who won't ever consider be-friending a person who smokes/does drugs does this mean that if Carl Sagan/Bob Dylan/Paul McCartney/Michael Phelps/Barrack Obama ever came up to you and asked if you wanted to hang out that you would say no? Would you consider them stupid?

Considering the amount of damage smoking can do to your lungs and your ability to be an athlete - I sincerely doubt Michael Phelps is that much of a chain smoker - I just wanted to mention that because he doesn't exactly fit the profile or the person that some people avoid for constantly smoking (and smelling like it)

 

[Akytalusia]

not hard enough, i'd say. tobacco's gotta be the most pointless drug in existance considering it's cost/benefit ratio, aside from that new russian one that eats you; forgot what that was called. it just needs to be left behind as a tar stain on our long history of mistakes.

 

[USSR]

Second hand smoke is all that really, and I mean REALLY, pisses me off.
If you wish to smoke and private, I have no problem with you o:

 

[peruvianskys]

Mostly I hate smoking because it's giving money to giant multinational corporations run by executives who buy mansions solely with the money they've been paid TO KILL YOU. When hundreds of thousands of people die every year from cigarette-related illnesses, it is irresponsible and indulgent to continue the habit. Especially because most young people who smoke around here are hipsters who will talk about how terrible capitalism is while literally paying thousands a year for cancer-causing chemicals that they know will shorten their lives. If you want to kill yourself, at least have the decency to not pay for the advertising, consumer research, and development of the products that are going to kill the next generation too. Tobacco is a death industry and the people who willingly pump money into that machine are irresponsible and careless. I wouldn't rag on some old man who's been smoking since the 40's when it was supposed to be good for you, but every time I see another rich white boy here who has enough disposable money to spend hundreds a month killing himself so that hundred can be used to make it easier for others to kill themselves too, I just want to slap him. There's nothing wrong with having a social stigma attached to an unhealthy and selfish habit, especially one that no one these days has any reason to start, what with the effects so obvious.

I love smoking. I really enjoy it. But I'm not gonna convince anyone of that now, am I?

"A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?" ~Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

"There's a lot of people who, a cigarette is about the only vacation they have." ~Trey Parker

"Good food, good sex, good digestion, good sleep: to these basic animal pleasures, man has added nothing but the good cigarette" - Mignon McLaughlin

"I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker.... but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table." ~Michelle Pfeiffer

"To some, the cigarette is a portable therapist." ~Terri Guillemets

I smoke a lot, used to smoke packs but moved onto rollies when the price was raised (living in the UK here). That annoyed me - 6 quid for a pack of smokes is ludicrous. Luckily tobacco itself is really cheap. Puff puff puff.

All I read in these quotes is: It's okay to kill yourself if it's pleasurable, drugs are an acceptable crutch for people with problems, and cigarettes make you interesting. All of these quotes, at least to me, are essentially either products of ignorance (as I'm sure Oscar Wilde didn't know about the fact that cigarette can kill you), indulgent irresponsibility, or the twelve-year old mentality that a roll of poison between your lips makes you the coolest kid around.