Are relationships overated?

[pulse2]

Okay, before I get verbally attacked (something people tend to do frequently on the internet without first attempting to understand), this isn't a form of trolling, its just something that's been bugging me. For the record I'm happily in one and even so much as considering the big M in a few years or so.

Here we go, basically I'm asking if we put too much credibility and importance into having and being in a relationship, of course it is the basic fundamental part of human existance and its all part of love etc, but is it the be all and end all is what I'm getting at. We spend an incredible amount of time thinking about it and quite often it upsets us or leaves us an emotional shell because it isn't going the way we'd like. For some it comes easy, for others it is hellish. Not always does the problem stem from self esteem, sometimes it could just be someone's lack of luck to find someone fitting of thier personality and other times its because a majority of people just don't find them attractive for some reason or another (I won't go into details). So for people who are not in a relationship, is it really so important that they be in one in order to find happiness?

Quite often we say that we are not complete until we find our other half, but are we saying this because we are in love or because it's true? And if it's true, why is it so easy to decide on a divorce or break-up as soon as things get slightly bumpy?

There is tremendous pressure on those who are not in relationships to be in one, all thier friends and family are in one and they keep asking you when you too will be in one, like as if its as crucial as breathing. But is it so wrong to choose not to be in one? What is a person who is not in a relationship missing out on and are they incomplete as a person? Is there no other means to find inner happiness then through a relationship?

So yeah, if, you're still with me, that's the question, what's your opinion

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Only the ones with the wrong people.

 

[Ando85]

Well I do believe one should be able to attain happiness without a relationship. This has been brought up many times before but you must love yourself before you can love someone else. I've been single most my life, and the few times I have been involved in a relationship the negatives out weighed the positives.

I see it as sort of a baseline. As you are single you or sort of at a purgatory between relationship bliss and relationship despair. Sometimes the pros and cons cancel each other out to where its simply a choice of a baseline or a roller coaster. I hope that makes sense.

 

[CG NUTS]

like most things it just depends on the person. most people just need a partner to validate that they are loved and needed, while others do perfectly fine on there own.

 

[Jamboxdotcom]

they're overrated in that they're not truly necessary for happiness. however, that's not to say they can't be awesome and totally worthwhile with the right person. but it's definitely better to be happily single than to be miserable with the wrong person.

 

[Gxas]

Okay, before I get verbally attacked (something people tend to do frequently on the internet without first attempting to understand), this isn't a form of trolling, its just something that's been bugging me. For the record I'm happily in one and even so much as considering the big M in a few years or so.

Here we go, basically I'm asking if we put too much credibility and importance into having and being in a relationship, of course it is the basic fundamental part of human existance and its all part of love etc, but is it the be all and end all is what I'm getting at. We spend an incredible amount of time thinking about it and quite often it upsets us or leaves us an emotional shell because it isn't going the way we'd like. For some it comes easy, for others it is hellish. Not always does the problem stem from self esteem, sometimes it could just be someone's lack of luck to find someone fitting of thier personality and other times its because a majority of people just don't find them attractive for some reason or another (I won't go into details). So for people who are not in a relationship, is it really so important that they be in one in order to find happiness?

Quite often we say that we are not complete until we find our other half, but are we saying this because we are in love or because it's true? And if it's true, why is it so easy to decide on a divorce or break-up as soon as things get slightly bumpy?

There is tremendous pressure on those who are not in relationships to be in one, all thier friends and family are in one and they keep asking you when you too will be in one, like as if its as crucial as breathing. But is it so wrong to choose not to be in one? What is a person who is not in a relationship missing out on and are they incomplete as a person? Is there no other means to find inner happiness then through a relationship?

So yeah, if, you're still with me, that's the question, what's your opinion

I feel you. I really do. Currently, I'm hung up on a girl. I love her, have since I first laid eyes on her. It was truly love at first sight. However, fate hates me and decided that it would send her to Washington DC for spring semester and summer.

I cannot be with her, currently, because she cannot handle the distance. I've realized that I can't either. We've been growing further and further apart this whole time and I feel like, when she returns, there will be nothing left between us.

I've been single for about four years now. I've been desperate to find someone, because my greatest fear is that I will die alone. This girl was everything to me, and I am getting counseling to help me cope with her being gone.

I've raised women and relationships to be the top priority in my life, due to my fear of being alone. I'm a hopeless romantic, and that will surely be the death of me.

Yes, relationships can be overrated and overhyped. Does that mean my mind will let me be rational and allow me to live my life and be happy? Absolutely not.

 

[BGH122]

So for people who are not in a relationship, is it really so important that they be in one in order to find happiness?

I'm far happier alone in general. I like to have maybe one or two close friends with whom I can share all my thoughts, but beyond that I don't like anyone getting too close. I'm just far happier doing my own thing.

Besides, study after study has shown that the average lifespan of that 'bliss' period of a romantic relationship is two years, after which the chemical soup which brings about those feelings dissipates as evolution urges us to find new mates to vary our progeny's DNA. From a purely scientific standpoint (and I love science), long-term relationships are a very, very bad idea. I'd certainly never get married.

EDIT: Also, this whole 'one right person for me!' nonsense doesn't exist. It's a myth perpetuated by Hollywood. There is no-one who 'gets' the 'real you'. It may not be right now, but at some point in the relationship you'll find you disagree on some basic principle, you'd just better hope it's not divisively major.

 

[Meggiepants]

I don't think it's necessary to validate your life with a relationship. But I also don't think they are a bad thing, either.

 

[Custard_Angel]

If it isn't a good experience, you're doing it wrong.

You're either with the wrong person or are not ready to be in such a relationship.

Relationships are great. Everyone should try it.

 

[dvd_72]

I think it depends on the person really. Some people just need or feel incredibally good when they're sharing thier life with someone close and important to them. People who don't like bing allone.

Then there are people who preffer to be allone. Relationships are complicated and too much of a hassle for the emotional rewards they get. They would much rather keep thier interpersonal relationships to friendship and be able to enjoy thier allone time.

And there is every range in between. Hell I doubt I took the two extremes in any case. People are complicated and individuals have individual needs. For some it's easy to find the kind of relationship that works, for others not so much. To each thier own is all I can say.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Okay, before I get verbally attacked (something people tend to do frequently on the internet without first attempting to understand), this isn't a form of trolling, its just something that's been bugging me. For the record I'm happily in one and even so much as considering the big M in a few years or so.

Metroid

I feel you. I really do. Currently, I'm hung up on a girl. I love her, have since I first laid eyes on her. It was truly love at first sight. However, fate hates me and decided that it would send her to Washington DC for spring semester and summer.

I cannot be with her, currently, because she cannot handle the distance. I've realized that I can't either. We've been growing further and further apart this whole time and I feel like, when she returns, there will be nothing left between us.

I've been single for about four years now. I've been desperate to find someone, because my greatest fear is that I will die alone. This girl was everything to me, and I am getting counseling to help me cope with her being gone.

I've raised women and relationships to be the top priority in my life, due to my fear of being alone. I'm a hopeless romantic, and that will surely be the death of me.

Yes, relationships can be overrated and overhyped. Does that mean my mind will let me be rational and allow me to live my life and be happy? Absolutely not.

Very well put, and basically the same thing as me (except I'm generally interested in those who aren't interested in me)

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Well, some people just don't choose to be in a relationship. Others put relationships above all else. I don't think it's overrated though. It's both a choice and finding that right person.
Of course, sometimes they're overhyped and cause people to dive into relationships that just aren't right for them, thinking it's the only route towards happiness. Really, you find your own happiness, be that in a relationship or not. You know you're in the right relationship when you don't freak out when you come to the rocky parts and just hold on tight until it's over rather than bailing out.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I'm quite the introverted, misanthropic type, so I'm quite happy (or just accustomed maybe) with my own company. If I find somebody to be with, then great. I I don't, I can live with it. I'm still young so I've got plenty of time to find somebody, being alone isn't going to keep me up at night and in the grand scheme of things being in a relationship isn't exactly at the top of my priortities.

 

[AngloDoom]

Good relationships are almost always good.
Bad relationships are almost always bad.

Being without a relationship is what you make of it. I'm quite happy in my own company, yet I'm in a relationship and it is certainly making me happier. That said, if I was dumped by my girlfriend I would most certainly feel some pain for some time, but after I'm over that I'm back to being normal.

Being sad because your not in a relationship makes it sound as if you expect everyone to be in a relationship at all times and that's just not practical. I think the media definitely pushes people into believing relationships are the most amazing thing ever, but so do people who crave relationships because they haven't got the confidence to be happy on their own.

Due to my upbringing I'm happy in company or without, so maybe this is easier for me than most people, but I really don't see why people can't look back on relationships and go "that was nice, now back to normal" rather than thinking that being in a relationships is the norm.

 

[yndsu]

I was in a long term relationship that ended last year.
And i am happy with the way the things are.
Mostly. It is actually getting to this point now when i miss
cuddling and being able to talk freely about anything and everything.

Also, you should not be looking for a partner to feel complete.
That is the wrong approach. You should be a complete person first and
then when you get into a relatioship you need to find someone who
compliments you. Her good qualities negate your negative one etc.

Also, love is more than just feeling close to someone. Love is making
the decision to care about that certain person and be there for them.
No matter what.

And to finish off. You should have that inner happyness before you
get into a realationship. You should feel confident about who you are
as a person and know yuor worth. If not it is very likely that one would
start to identify themselves with the realationsip too much. And what
do you think will happen when they break up ?

[(except I'm generally interested in those who aren't interested in me)

Hehehe, yeah, i am pretty sure that that is waht is usually going on anyway.
Or you are interested in a girl who's friend is interested in you.
Or you miss the bleeding window.
And i can go on all day long... =P