Are you a "nice guy"?
- Thread starter pppppppppppppppppp
- Start date
Recommended Videos
with me, its more of a "oh your so nice, why dont you have a girlfriend already" without actually realising i want her to be my gf, very annoying and still no solution
Doesn't count if you're 15 and the exact opposite >_<Ice Azure said:
How can it? None of it applies.
If you're bipolar then its not your personality, its a disorder and thus not applicable here.
My point stands as, I choose to be a jerk because, like most of my kinsmen in the gaming community, I am above average intelligence and have a strong apathy toward human stupidity.
A similar apathy and irritation is directed at women and how they seem to think the fucking world is owed to them.
I CAN treat people well, I am capable of making people feel great about themselves as I have an avid interest in the human psych and thus know what buttons to press. However I Choose not to.
Why should I? What do I gain from it? and if I go out of my way to help and be the good guy, specially around women who as a gender take it for granted, I end up like the OP.
Can't be fucked with that. Better to sit on my games and ignore people who sit and go on and ON about how great it is to be shackled to someone else sacrificing your freedoms and constantly getting screwed over as my friends seem to every week.
I'm a bit of a strange one.
I'm charming and caring, polite and civil and loyal. But I'm also a swearing and drinking man-whore who will chat up two girls and have sex with both of them on the same night.
I show many different faces to many different people depending on how I want to appear.
I'd call myself a part-time nice guy.
I'm charming and caring, polite and civil and loyal. But I'm also a swearing and drinking man-whore who will chat up two girls and have sex with both of them on the same night.
I show many different faces to many different people depending on how I want to appear.
I'd call myself a part-time nice guy.
I tend to be nice, forgiving, supporting so yea I guess I'm a nice guy.
But I just learned a lesson: it doesn't work well if you want to draw attention! so at parties I'm just not myself and pump my ego up (I hate being egocentric, but it works!).
Side note: I've got loads of female friends, but most of them are ex-GF's. So I've had the "just friends speech" just once, all other lady friends are ex-GF's or not attractive.
But I just learned a lesson: it doesn't work well if you want to draw attention! so at parties I'm just not myself and pump my ego up (I hate being egocentric, but it works!).
Side note: I've got loads of female friends, but most of them are ex-GF's. So I've had the "just friends speech" just once, all other lady friends are ex-GF's or not attractive.
So...basically, it's not worth putting time and effort into friendship with a girl if she's not eventually going to sleep with you?Carnagath said:
Wow. Well, at least you're honest.
It's funny how many of these "nice guys" seem to think that being nice isn't just a mark of a civilised human being, but that it requires some sort of pay-off. And how often they don't respect the girl enough to consider her friendship worth their investment. I mean, I've had friends I've fancied, and yeah, it's disappointing if you can't take it to the next level, but I still wouldn't give up the time we've spent, the fun we've had, or our shared interests.
Because an actual friend should be more than a potential date (for either gender). If they're not, you can't honestly be surprised they saw through you and dumped you like a hot potato.
I mean both. I won't be friends with a girl I like, because that's just too painful. I also avoid friendships with girls in general, even if I'm not really attracted to them, because being a friend means that you not only share words, but also activities, things that you both enjoy and have in common, like movies, music, videogames etc, and if I see that I have so many things in common with a girl I end up still wanting to be in a relationship with her, because looks are not important for me, I believe that chemistry is the most important thing and sex can become an amazing game to play with someone you "fit" with, regardless of what they look like (within healthy reason).Vault101 said:
To your second point, of course you are narcissistic. That's not necessarily bad either. Everyone is narcissistic to a certain degree. I've never met a girl who did not enjoy the casual company and attention of people who have a crush on her, especially if they are "nice guys" who try to hide it so she won't feel embarrassed. That's self explanatory for me, I don't know what else to say.
yes. as nice as they come. And yes, I'm considered to be a boring person because of that. What is this world coming to?
You misunderstood my post a bit. I've had many female friends. I did put time and effort into all those friendships. I knew they weren't going to sleep with me, because I asked them. That sounds sleazy, but they were all short, polite conversations in ideal circumstances where I explained that I liked them, LIKED liked them, and asked them what they thought of that, and the answer was the usual that we all know. The rejection was always a blow, but not enough to cut contact with them. We were really having some great times and I appreciated their company. But it always comes to a point where these friendships end, and it's always extremely bitter and hurtful. They either find a normal boyfriend and become strangers, or they do or say something so unbelievably inappropriate that it shows they think I am a doormat, and just as we are inseperable I suddenly can't even stand looking at them.Cantrix said:
Cross-gender friendships are extremely, extremely complicated if one of the parties involved would like more. To my experience, they never work out. Perhaps someone, somewhere, managed to make it work, but I personally can't. The sexual element is always present and changes things, even when you aren't completely aware of it.
This may or may not contradict my previous screed, but...
I grant that niceness (genuine) doesn't mean you deserve a medal. However, would it not be ideal if niceness were ranked more highly than other traits, such as being a productive member of society or being 'exciting?' For it to not be treated this way may be why so many 'Nice Guys' think that women want bad boys, true or not.
Also...a 'bad boy' doesn't have to be mean to women to count, even if he treats women well, and he treats other guys (i.e. the nice guy who is probably spineless and an easy target of bullying) like shit, why should said Nice Guy want to see such a scumbag succeed? Especially if he has no real proof that said bad boy is good to his women, i.e. it's considered safe to assume that the bad boy treats everyone that way?
Finally, I think that a lot of the debate is selfish and argued in bad faith on both sides. Nice Guys, while right to point out bad men and why they don't deserve to succeed, don't realize that they are turning into the very monsters they fight against. Some of the women, on the other hand, seem more concerned with exonerating themselves completely of any responsibility in the debate than about finding the truth, which may or may not put them in a flattering light. Sorry ladies, sometimes women ARE wrong.
Nice Guys: Again, you aren't entitled to jack shit, harden the fuck up. You should better yourself, if only for your own sake, and stop being so spineless. Nobody else can complete you but you. I know, I know, it's not that you necessarily feel entitled to a woman's attention when you are disappointed that she won't just read your mind and make easy the path for you, but it can easily turn into a feeling of entitlement when you don't check such an attitude.
Women: Try to avoid a mindset of separating the men from the boys. For one thing, no self respecting man would let a woman define him, and for another, to be so obsessed with whether a man is 'mature' or not only serves to make yourself look like some sort of female supremacist who thinks that women are inherently more mature than men. Also, don't assume that men are weak and stupid to be so easily led by feminine wiles, it is just that they allow themselves to be out of ignorance or recklessness. That said, pray that the man you want doesn't realize that everything is a lie, that women are only human (every little thing you do is NOT magic), and that love is simply an interplay of brain chemicals that produce the illusion of something higher.
I grant that niceness (genuine) doesn't mean you deserve a medal. However, would it not be ideal if niceness were ranked more highly than other traits, such as being a productive member of society or being 'exciting?' For it to not be treated this way may be why so many 'Nice Guys' think that women want bad boys, true or not.
Also...a 'bad boy' doesn't have to be mean to women to count, even if he treats women well, and he treats other guys (i.e. the nice guy who is probably spineless and an easy target of bullying) like shit, why should said Nice Guy want to see such a scumbag succeed? Especially if he has no real proof that said bad boy is good to his women, i.e. it's considered safe to assume that the bad boy treats everyone that way?
Finally, I think that a lot of the debate is selfish and argued in bad faith on both sides. Nice Guys, while right to point out bad men and why they don't deserve to succeed, don't realize that they are turning into the very monsters they fight against. Some of the women, on the other hand, seem more concerned with exonerating themselves completely of any responsibility in the debate than about finding the truth, which may or may not put them in a flattering light. Sorry ladies, sometimes women ARE wrong.
Nice Guys: Again, you aren't entitled to jack shit, harden the fuck up. You should better yourself, if only for your own sake, and stop being so spineless. Nobody else can complete you but you. I know, I know, it's not that you necessarily feel entitled to a woman's attention when you are disappointed that she won't just read your mind and make easy the path for you, but it can easily turn into a feeling of entitlement when you don't check such an attitude.
Women: Try to avoid a mindset of separating the men from the boys. For one thing, no self respecting man would let a woman define him, and for another, to be so obsessed with whether a man is 'mature' or not only serves to make yourself look like some sort of female supremacist who thinks that women are inherently more mature than men. Also, don't assume that men are weak and stupid to be so easily led by feminine wiles, it is just that they allow themselves to be out of ignorance or recklessness. That said, pray that the man you want doesn't realize that everything is a lie, that women are only human (every little thing you do is NOT magic), and that love is simply an interplay of brain chemicals that produce the illusion of something higher.
Well. I try to be as nice a guy as possible, and when it comes to asking out girls I tend to be of the mindset that it's their choice and that there is nothing that I can actually do in order to change that, it is always their choice and not mine.
For instance, I was on a date with a girl that I had been friends with for a while. The date went fine, we kissed and then a day before we were due to have a second date, she called and said that I was an amazing friend and that she didn't want to ruin that.
This is understandable because I had actually given her the choice the entire time of whether or not we should go out. So I actually couldn't say anything about the way that I felt about it.
For me, the principal of being a "nice guy" is simply to be front up and honest with people, especially women, because if you get rejected then you know that you did the right thing by not being a complete asshole to her. So you can take some satisfaction in that.
For instance, I was on a date with a girl that I had been friends with for a while. The date went fine, we kissed and then a day before we were due to have a second date, she called and said that I was an amazing friend and that she didn't want to ruin that.
This is understandable because I had actually given her the choice the entire time of whether or not we should go out. So I actually couldn't say anything about the way that I felt about it.
For me, the principal of being a "nice guy" is simply to be front up and honest with people, especially women, because if you get rejected then you know that you did the right thing by not being a complete asshole to her. So you can take some satisfaction in that.
Girls using the whole nice guy thing to tell you they don't want to go out with you is usually an excuse for something else, they probably just fancy another guy or something.
I always try to be genial and polite, but like everyone else I have my flaws, so I guess I am a "nice guy". Which I define as being 'not a viable mate due to Darwinian law of survival of the fittest' (i.e. not the type of person that would take what they want when they want)
I am always trying to be the nicest and politest person I can be, and I am, as my morality says, I am all good (unless there is an evil Governemnt then its time to rise!), but if I get angry enought I think I can vent more then 8 years of rage.
