Are you a "nice guy"?
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Let me start by asking you this: Say "girl X" approaches you. Girl X is cute but not absolutely strik-never mind. Fuck it, forget about her looks. Girl X flirts with you but is constantly flattering, and some part of you (you're not sure if it 's your own insecurity or your bullshit-ometer) tells you that it's insincere. Enter "girl y," emotionally, physically and metaphysically identical to girl x in every way, except instead of flattering you, she lightheartedly picks on you, and she challenges you, and she doesn't go out of her way to agree with you.Glass Joe the Champ said:
Which of the above two women would you go out with?
I believe the "asshole guy" is just a more literal, hyperbolic translation of the above by simpler minds who can't quite grasp the concept, much like the metrosexual phenomenon, wherein an insincere douchebag dresses how he imagines gay guys dress because he's trying to impersonate, not them, but the straight guy who is mistaken for a gay man by cavemen because he doesn't act all macho all the time (even thought that guy doesn't get a mani/pedi every week).
It really depends on what you want. If you just want to have fun and can pull off jumping aboard the insincerity train for a night, you can spend the evening with a beautiful liar seeking instant, explosive catharsis. If you want something real, you can only function as yourself and participating in this behavior isn't going to get you anywhere.
A lot of nice people get walked all over, and instead of doing something about it, they whine a lot. This is not something that makes one pleasant to be around, and for damned sure it's not going to get one laid. Personally, I'm nice to whom I want to be nice, when I want to be nice. The rest of the time, I just am. I'm neutral, I'm cordial. I fuck around with just about everyone (um, verbally, not physically). And I continually find myself apologizing just in case somebody mistook something I said, which I need to stop doing. If the internet, Facebook in particular, has taught me anything, it's that there's a whole shit-ton of people out there who have mistaken things I've said and subsequently think I'm an asshole, that I never knew about. Worrying about such things is a path to madness.
Ramble-free version: being a nice guy does not mean being a pushover.
i'm a chick, and i do like nice guys. funny, strong, optimistic, and nice. but i have been attracted to some 'bad boys'. there is definetly an appeal in them , because we believe that they are more than just assholes--they're hiding their own feelings (aka, they're angsty). and being able to drag out the human part of what seems like a characature of jerk-iness is appealing. think zuko in the second season of avatar, if anyone besides me here watched that show 
. especially if you know that YOU were the one to be able to do it first, no one else.
So, in conclusion, continue to be nice, stand up for her if your friends insult her, and try not to let the ladies bring you down, cuz jerks do have some misleading appeal
. especially if you know that YOU were the one to be able to do it first, no one else.So, in conclusion, continue to be nice, stand up for her if your friends insult her, and try not to let the ladies bring you down, cuz jerks do have some misleading appeal
I kinda already do that (minus putting elbows on the table... I generally rested my arms on the table) but it's always good to hear it again... right now my biggest fear is work... it's a very physically demanding job and I'm better and mentally demanding jobs... I really hope I get moved (even if electronics department pays like 25 cents less per hour)artanis_neravar said:
Change Girl y to guy y and you have me! wait....does that mean I'm an asshole?funguy2121 said:
I know what you mean man, I am currently unemployed and that is exactly why I haven't asked my crush out, and work right now is my primary focusWOPR said:
No. I should have put in a bit more info before hitting "post." Let's edit it...artanis_neravar said:
Which woman would you go out with? Now invert that situation. Do you want to be the insincere ass-kisser/enabler, or the guy who gently picks on her?
(Hell, that's the only way I know how to consciously flirt)
I would defiantly rather go out with the engaging girl who picks on me, and I enjoy being that guy,funguy2121 said:
Oh and that's the only way I know how to consciously flirt as well
Yeah, it's either that or I don't even realize I'm doing it. None of my friends believe me, of course, until I remind them of just how little confidence I typically have regarding a woman who hasn't already communicated an interest in me.artanis_neravar said:
I tend not to be a "nice guy". I rarely take other's feelings into account and I don't give anyone who has nothing to offer me the time of day. People who don't know me well think I'm rude. I'm realistic. Those who know me better find that I'm a good person. Sadly, there are very few of those people. Seeing that I don't have no success with men (As I've pointed out countless times on this site, i'm gay), this doesn't seem to be working out very well for me. :/
Yes and No. I like to consider myself a "nice guy", I always try to be polite and friendly too everybody. But really it's just an act, I honestly do not care and hate 90% of the people I have ever meet. I have a quick temper and bear grudges for no reason. So there you go. Not sure if I can be consider a "nice guy" or not.
Make. Your. Intentions. Known. That's all you have to do. If you don't your whole relationship is a lie. If you're a liar, there's some advice I could give you to score this girl, but I won't.
If you make your intentions known, though, you'll know where you stand. Having feelings for someone that doesn't feel the same way is a waste of time and life. She doesn't find you attractive. You can't move past that. And if you did, would you really want to? Move on and find someone else. And. As always. Make your intentions known.
If you make your intentions known, though, you'll know where you stand. Having feelings for someone that doesn't feel the same way is a waste of time and life. She doesn't find you attractive. You can't move past that. And if you did, would you really want to? Move on and find someone else. And. As always. Make your intentions known.
In my experience it isn't being a 'nice guy' that isn't landing the dude in question the girl he wants, she just doesn't feel that sort of chemistry for him. There isn't really anything that can be done to change that.
Lol, that was very well done I must admit.Hagi said:
That should be made into a bumper sticker... although... maybe not if the car is driven by certain people...
Yeah same here, then again people also don't usually notice when I am flirting, partly because I show affection the same way whether I'm flirting or interacting with family, or friends that I consider familyfunguy2121 said: