Apocryphal279 said:
First, no need to welcome me to the Escapist. This account was created because some of my friends know what my Escapist account is called, so I wanted to remain anonymous so I could be honest.
I grew up in a very conservative, Christian household. I was taught that sex outside of marriage was horrible, and that pretty much any attempt to engage in it would bring about either STDs or unwanted pregnancies. In fact, the youth groups I was forced to go to always taught me about how 25% of women have an STD, and stuff like that.
Yet, at the same time, I'm in college, and people are having sex left and right and it honestly doesn't seem that big of a deal. No one I know has gotten pregnant, and I'm close enough with plenty of people that they would tell me if they thought they got an STD.
Pregnancies have never been too much of a concern with me, mainly because if the proper precautions are taken on both sides, the chance of pregnancy essentially drops to a negligible amount. STDs, on the other hand, I've heard can be easily transmitted, and worst of all, they stick with you for the rest of your life. Plus, HIV/AIDS pretty much gives you a death sentence.
So, I'd like some honest feedback. Are STDs as prevalent/easy to contract as I've been led to believe? Is the risk high enough that you personally avoid sexual encounters? Do you employ methods to prevent getting STDs?
Don't just answer to try to counter the classic Christian practice of never having sex outside of marriage; I'm past that already. I just want honest answers. Thanks for your time.
P.S. Yes, I'm asking this question on a video game community forum. No, I don't care. The people I've seen on here are far more insightful and open than those on any other forum I know of.
Okay, this is a subject on which I happen to have some experience. Allow me to impart some of it.
Oh the subject of the raising in a conservative christian household, or any conservative religious household, I'm sorry. That will scar you in ways you cannot imagine until it becomes a real problem.
As for college, you have to understand that college nowadays is really just an extension of highschool, with far less parental/teacher oversight. The freshman year of many colleges is making sure that thier students can pass the actual course curriculum. Alot of people do things not becuase it's a good idea, but because it's something that would have gotten them into trouble before. As Yahtzee would say, it's a 'childish jelly binge followed by tedium and diarhea'. I has sex with several people before I met and married my husband. In retrospect, I regret each encounter. It's not that they were or weren't pleasurable, that's not the issue at all. The issue is that eacch encounter is an experiance to which my husband must inevitably be compared. Even if I don't want to, even if I don't mean to, my mind (or any human mind) will go to unexpected places at the most unexpected times. You mind and memory are not seperate things. Many years down the road when you have settled down with that 'right girl' and you are in the middle of something sweet and intimate, do you really want to suddenly remember being with someone else. Hindsight is 20/20. Never has a phrase been more appropriote than this. Mostly because your view of the past will make you feel like an ass about certain things. No one lives a regret free life, and no choice is without consequince. How you feel about this is something only you can decide.
On the pregnancy front; with the proper precautions, which I hope I can assume you would use, that isn't really an issue. Do not, DO NOT, ever listen to a girl who tells you that she doesn't want you to wear a condom because she's on the pill. Yes, it may feel better, but the risk is not worth it. This is one area where you always need to look after yourself. Woman get very weird when it comes to having kids. I've known many woman who I thought were quite respectable, until I found out that they had no problems with tricking a man into getting them pregnant. 'Tricking' their word, not mine. Remember guys, even if it isn't yours, if you acted as a father (even for a little bit) the Supreme Court of the United States says you are responsible for them financially; until they turn 18 and longer if they're disabled. Ignore this if you live outside the US.
As for STD's, ah STDs, the gift that just keeps on giving. I've only ever had an STD once, and I didn't even get off to get it. That's right, you can get some STDs just by coming into contact with the area where someone with it spends time. My room mate back in the day, which was a Tuesday, was a walking biohazard and the lysol and bleach I used on my half of the dorm room was just not enough. This lead me to learn that there are 3 levels of STDs. The first is like what I had, Crabs. This is an STD that can be treated, and will not return once treatment is successfully completed. The second level of STD is like Herpes. You get it, treat it, but it will come back. Once it comes back you'll have to treat it again and again. No cure, but it is managable to a degree. Then there's the final level of STDs. This is where AIDS/HIV, and a few other sit. These are things that you get, recieve treatment for, and die anyway. There is only managing the little time you have left. Now, there are those in the AIDS/HIV community who will tell you that will treatment you can live a mostly normal life for much longer now than before. Did you see the key words there? Mostly and much longer. You can still give it to anyone, and even if you live for another 15 years with treatment, do the math. You get AIDS/HIV in your early 20s, 20-25, now you die sometime between the ages of 35 and 40. American males are living up to 85 years now. You have cut your life in half. Also, treatment is expensive. I hate to bring that up, but it is an important factor. There are also studies coming out now saying that people dying with AIDS/HIV now have internal organs similar to people in their 80s. The drug therapies used to treat this is also killing the people being treated. Just an ironic side note there.
I don't mean to scare you, but try to think of sex like a live hand grenade. It's armed, and unless you know what you are doing, it will blow up in your face. You will die horribly, and possibly kill people around you. Just putting that out there. Now, moving on. My husband works at a hospital, so I have access to tidbits of information most people might not. The info is out there, but you might have to look for it. When I visit him at work they have stuff up on posters, so I have an easier time of it. STDs are probably not as prevalent as you have been led to believe. However, they are also probably more prevalent than most people think since there are alot of people who have things they don't know about. Remember, some STDs have an incubation period, and don't show symptoms until much later.
Here's the rub though (no pun intended), some people just don't give a damn. They won't care if they infect you, or what will happen to you after. Or, to put it in terms you will better understand, where there are humans there is sin. You need to go at this the same way you would a live hand grenade, or an angry tiger. Caution always, protection first, diffusing the situation is better than inflaming and yes, until you find that 'right person' it does want to kill you. If you can keep all of that in mind, you should be fine.
I know this long/rambling post has probably made it seem like I'm saying you should simply saw off your wedding tackle now and have it frozen for future use, but that's not it at all. What I'm saying is that while is great, it's also fraught with peril. It's a fundamental part of the human experiance, and to deny that is to deny part of your soul. It is an unparralled experiance, one that you cannot take back/undo once done. You should know what you are getting into (also, no pun intended) before you do. If you take anything away from this, it should be that knowledge is half the battle. The other half is red and blue lasers.
