Arguments with the mentally disturbed.

[Calo Nord]

Alright, so i think an argument i have had with this guy over the internet for more than a year now is finally over...but not in the way i see fit at all.

It all started when this kid befriended me (through online gaming) and i knew straight away he wasn't very bright at all, but i tolerated him because he seemed to like me. We used to play together (even started up a competitive team at one point) until he met one of my good friends whom i have known long before him. My friend didn't have any kind of tolerance for an imbecile such as he and so insulted him, which led to the kid becoming hostile and ultimately blaming me for knowing my friend. He couldn't accept the fact that i was friends with someone who didn't like him, and began to think i was "against him". I have many friends online and in person who have friends i greatly despise and it has never caused any problems.

Anyway, this kid started to show his ugly side and began to get uncontrollably abusive to me for no reason and he himself ended what little a friendship we initially had. This was all fine and good, but little did i know how demented he really was. On and off roughly 10 or so times (no joke) after the first "break-up" he kept coming back to me and wishing to befriend me like nothing had ever happened. I am not a nasty person, so reluctantly i kept accepting his apology...only before what i suspect to be his bipolar disorder to keep showing itself and leading him to rage at me and block all possible contact for no reason whatsoever. It sounds ridiculous, but this did go on MANY times throughout last year, my forgiveness making it worse over and over. It is probably my fault for being so polite, but i kept believing i could maybe get through to him considering he INSISTED on befriending me constantly.

I didn't hear from him for months until the other week, when what do you know, he comes back wishing to befriend me once again. I accepted. Only for him to block communications again today for no reason. Fed up like i should have been long ago, i sent him a message warning him that if he tried that shit again i would do him the favor of blocking him in every possible way. This only aggravated him, as he sent random abusive messages back with attempts at trying to convince me i have no life etc. I sent him a message back telling him not to blame me because of his insecurities and bipolar disorder but ofcoarse that made him even more angry. With each abusive message, i pointed out how he made no sense and asked him various questions to which he refused to reply to, instead sending even more pointless rage my way. Eventually the frustration of this got to me, but before i could say anymore - All contact blocked.

This really pisses me off, when i know i am right i always wish to point out another person's faults and this time i did not get to. Instead this burden of society will continue thinking he knows best and will insist he "outsmarted" me *cringe* with his abuse, despite avoiding all my questions regarding why he is angry.

In the end i think it's my fault, i always thought it was good to be nice to everyone but in this case it just pushed me over the edge. Never again, and sadly i said that last time. But i mean it this time. I just can't deal with the mentally unstable, they are impossible. I know it's just the internet and i shouldn't give a shit (i don't really) but i won't lie when i say it does get to me due to the fact that i couldn't prove to this scumbag that he was at complete fault and always was. He has a history of bipolar-like abuse with others too.

Anyway, i felt like i needed to get that off my chest to a community that i could relate to with these sorts of arguments. I'm hoping there are some of you with similar encounters that are willing to share them, please do.

Thanks for reading all of that.

 

[SadisticPretzel]

Little children always have to have the last word. You might not have gotten to tell him he was wrong, but at least you can feel good about not having resorted to pure nerd-rage to get your way.

Block him and don't look back.

 

[IBlackKiteI]

Block him and don't look back.

This. A million times this.

In the end i think it's my fault, i always thought it was good to be nice to everyone but in this case it just pushed me over the edge. Never again, and sadly i said that last time. But i mean it this time. I just can't deal with the mentally unstable, they are impossible. I know it's just the internet and i shouldn't give a shit (i don't really) but i won't lie when i say it does get to me due to the fact that i couldn't prove to this scumbag that he was at complete fault and always was. He has a history of bipolar-like abuse with others too.

I'm not sure if this will make you feel better or anything, but people online, weird little kids in particular, tend to not care anything anyone says to them. So even if you had the chance to tell him how much of a little shithead he was he probably wouldn't give a damn, or even understand, anyway.

 

[Nerdygamer89]

Honestly, you need to stop being so nice to abusive people. If they're going to verbally abuse you, they aren't your friend and aren't worth being around in any capacity. Be nice to people like that and they'll just walk all over you for your trouble.

If it were me, I'd tell this guy to go to hell and cut all contact.

 

[Scolar Visari]

"...i always thought it was good to be nice to everyone..." Unlearn that hippy shit pronto. The time to block contact with him was long ago. You can be nice to people, but that doesn't mean you can't stick up for yourself.

 

[TyrantGanado]

I went out with a girl with bipolar for nearly two years and it taught me a few things. Since you guessed that's what your friend was affected with it I'll run with it and point some stuff out:

When on a "downer" a bipolar person will find it very difficult to string together any rational thoughts, everything they do or say is pure emotion. Any slight against them will be blamed on the nearest affaliated person if not themselves (it seems your friend is of the former persuasion as opposed to a self-abusive bipolar). The opposite is true, but normally kills any sense of danger in the person's mind meaning they essentially become safety defying hedonists.

If the behaviour really is beyond your capacity for compassion then block him. It's a sad result but otherwise you'll only aggravate each other further. Just don't hold it against him too much, if he really is bipolar then he's a probably perfectly normal and pleasant on a level-headed day but is evidently very irrational and violent when upset.

The flipside is that he might just be an insecure dick and internet psychology probably isn't going to help him.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Reading this, he's never going to listen to whatever you say or do.

Forget about him.

 

[LebbyLegs]

I'm a lot like you man, I'm a nice guy, but I hate it when someone who is such a prick to you when you have never done anything in return somehow does these mental gymnastics and convinces themselves that they are in the right even when their message is something like this "YOU FUCKINING FUCKTARD FUCKING **** IMA FUCKING FUCK YOU UP IF I EVER SEE YOU"
And your message is something like this "I'm sure."
So yeah blocking him is defs the best way to go, altho I pity the poor dude if he has a problem.

By the way, what is Bi Polar? I have a rough idea but don't know the details

 

[Calo Nord]

To call him mentally disturbed is incredibly ignorant. You don't know his developmental backdrop. He's most likely got a social disorder or just screwed up. Either way, there's gonna be a reason and you aren't one to judge.

No not really. I wasn't calling him "mentally disabled" or anything. I may not know his story and the reasons on why he would be the way he is, but can easily guess. Anything from his parents divorcing to being pushed to succeed at school are likely causes in most troubled people. To be "screwed up" you need to be unhinged mentally anyway, as they are one in the same thing, so calling him mentally disturbed is appropriate. Perhaps it isn't entirely correct to say he suffers from bipolar disorder without knowing for certain, but i really don't care. He is damaged to say the least. It is behind me now, i tried to help him but it was impossible and i don't ever intend on being foolish enough to try again despite attempting so many times.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

 

[6unn3r]

Alright, so i think an argument i have had with this guy over the internet for more than a year

Read that and thought, hmm why are you arguing with someone you cant see? Dude just forget him it's not like he knows where you live or anything just block him and move on.

 

[PurplePlatypus]

You know, you?re under no obligation to be doing all this. If there is something wrong with him then you can feel sorry or sympathise with him but you still don?t need to put up with it. He is after all just some guy you met over the internet that you may or may not have gotten to know a little bit over the year.

There?s being nice and there?s needlessly subjecting yourself to abuse and unneeded headaches. It might even be best for the both of you if you just ended this cycle of events.

 

[Calo Nord]

You weren't calling him mentally disabled, you were calling him mentally disturbed. A pretty big statement. If you think he has a mental illness (NOT BIPOLAR), then you should care. Or atleast be sympathetic.

I was stating that it wasn't like i was calling him mentally "disabled" which WOULD be incorrect. Mentally disturbed/unhinged/troubled is what i meant and is clearly what he is. I am slightly sympathetic, but it's hard when i had tried to help him repeatedly to no avail. It's over now.

 

[Calo Nord]

Mentally disturbed has definitional associations with mental illness, insanity and 'brain-sickness'. I think that by calling him mentally disturbed you are both projecting your assumptions onto our views of him, insinuating that he is mentally ill, and altogether lacking sympathy. (Hey, I've got a family that has a lot of mental illness in it, I'm gonna challenge you on being unfair).

It isn't an assumption when ones abusive and irrational behavior is evident. Say if i heard from other sources that a man killed someone, if this source didn't know his background would it be logical to assume this man may not be troubled mentally ? No, not when there is evidence for the murder.

To say i lack sympathy is rather irritating when you are not in my position and you don't know on how many occasions i put up with and tried to reason with this guy. Although i thought you would gather as much from my first post. If this person was not mentally unwell in any way, what would you describe as being his fault ? Nothing i can think of that wouldn't still fall into the category of any mental problem.

 

[Broken Orange]

I have the same exact problem: I am too damn nice! You tried to see the best in a person but he kept on showing his worse. You did what you thought was correct only for it to back fire against you. You did a good considering the situation.

 

[Calo Nord]

Mentally disturbed has definitional associations with mental illness, insanity and 'brain-sickness'. I think that by calling him mentally disturbed you are both projecting your assumptions onto our views of him, insinuating that he is mentally ill, and altogether lacking sympathy. (Hey, I've got a family that has a lot of mental illness in it, I'm gonna challenge you on being unfair).

It isn't an assumption when ones abusive and irrational behavior is evident. Say if i heard from other sources that a man killed someone, if this source didn't know his background would it be logical to assume this man may not be troubled mentally ? No, not when there is evidence for the murder.

To say i lack sympathy is rather irritating when you are not in my position and you don't know on how many occasions i put up with and tried to reason with this guy. Although i thought you would gather as much from my first post. If this person was not mentally unwell in any way, what would you describe as being his fault ? Nothing i can think of that wouldn't still fall into the category of any mental problem.

When you realise it is impossible to communicate you cut it off then. And there is a big difference between sympathy and pity, where your claims seem to show that you don't quite know the difference.

Due to hereditary transition, I have a 30% of developing bi-polar disorder within the next 5 or so years. I'm allowed to get cranky.

Of coarse i know the difference between sympathy and pity, and i suppose you have a point in the sense that i am not completely sympathetic to the definition of the word but the two overlap so i see them as relatively the same thing. Especially in this case where i couldn't really care all that much with the correct wording i use to describe something i despise. In the end i made my point, and received the helpful advice i was expecting from this community. If you wish you can continue debating with me, but i don't see much of a point when it's regarding something not all that interesting.