Ask a Zombie Apocalypse Survivor

[Flailing Escapist]

Well its been 3 months now since the outbreak in downtown Denver started.
We've been living off cans of baked beans and old cereal for weeks now but it sounds like the zombies have been shambling away and we may try to check out some of the surrounding buildings in a day or two.

Theres got to be someone else out there, who the zombies haven't gotten to yet... And I'm sure you've got a lot of questions so fire away.

 

[Sassafrass]

Do you have braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains? And if so, can I have them?

 

[Easton Dark]

When was the last time you washed yourself? Get that out of the way first before meeting people.

 

[OrenjiJusu]

Can you let me in? i promise i wont rip open your skull and feast upon your delicious grey brainflesh!

-Sincerely,
A, Zombie

 

[Flailing Escapist]

Do you have braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains? And if so, can I have them?

Can you let me in? i promise i wont rip open your skull and feast upon your delicious grey brainflesh!

-Sincerely,
A, Zombie

Oh god they've found a way onto the internet!
Bang! bang! bang!

 

[mitchell271]

ooh, very interesting. first hand account from someone experiencing the horror of the outbreak? yes please.

do they really raise their arms and moan all the time? what weapons work best? does sound actually attract them? should we believe the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks?

 

[TheScientificIssole]

Do you have braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains? And if so, can I have them?

Oh god they've found a way onto the internet!
Bang! bang! bang!

Your implied sound effects are mighty but not strong enough.
OT: Zombie babies. Why not?

 

[Flailing Escapist]

When was the last time you washed yourself? Get that out of the way first before meeting people.

We've actually been out of water for a couple of days now. Thats why we need to find a new place to stay

Maybe its the paranoia but most people generally keep to themselves. Besides they probably smell worst than me!

 

[CJSinc]

What have you found to be the most useful and useless weapon from, close gun, medium range gun, long range gun and melee weapons

 

[WanderingFool]

Well its been 3 months now since the outbreak in downtown Denver started.

Hasnt downtown Denver always been like that? Oh, wait... thats Detroit...

 

[Sassafrass]

Do you have braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains? And if so, can I have them?

Can you let me in? i promise i wont rip open your skull and feast upon your delicious grey brainflesh!

-Sincerely,
A, Zombie

Oh god they've found a way onto the internet!
Bang! bang! bang!

You just shot poor Steve!
He was one day away from retirement...he had a zombie wife and two zombie kids, Zombie Tim and Zombie Michelle...damn, now I've gotta go and break the news...

 

[Flailing Escapist]

ooh, very interesting. first hand account from someone experiencing the horror of the outbreak? yes please.

do they really raise their arms and moan all the time? what weapons work best? does sound actually attract them? should we believe the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks?

Moan, yes
Raise their arms, no

A hose, oddly enough. For some reason water drives them away.

Probably but I'm usually too busy screaming to notice.

And I've never read it.... probably should have.

What have you found to be the most useful and useless weapon from, close gun, medium range gun, long range gun and melee weapons

Like I said water annoys the zombies for some reason. So a hose or a watergun would be the most useful.
The most useless would probably be your own arms and legs... them seem to love that.

 

[CJSinc]

Wouldnt books be better for burning to gain warmth than reading at a time like that?

 

[Flailing Escapist]

Useless they're books about zombies, yes.

I've been slow roasting "The Inferno" for the past couple of hours and boy does it look tasty.

 

[mitchell271]

A hose, oddly enough. For some reason water drives them away.

So zombie Nazgul? OH SHIT

 

[Flailing Escapist]

You just shot poor Steve!
He was one day away from retirement...he had a zombie wife and two zombie kids, Zombie Tim and Zombie Michelle...damn, now I've gotta go and break the news...

Serves him right for trying to eat my feet. I need those, man zombie!

 

[Just_A_Glitch]

Is it confined to Denver? Because I haven't seen a "walker" yet in Ohio. Good thing I just completed my zombie survival kit (not joking).

My question is do you need transportation. I know a guy with a chopper, and I'd be willing to take the risk to aid my fellow man. I'd just need your coordinates.

 

[CJSinc]

Do they appear to all just be infected with a virus e.g. heart still beating or are they genuinely dead?

Have any mutations occurred if it is a virus?
Say, increased muscle mass , height etc.

 

[Sassafrass]

Serves him right for trying to eat my feet. I need those, man zombie!

Oh, that wasn't Steve, that was me. I went for them as they do look very tasty plus no one expects a zombie to go for the feet. Steve was the one that went for the oh so predictable jugular bite.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

Is it confined to Denver? Because I haven't seen a "walker" yet in Ohio. Good thing I just completed my zombie survival kit (not joking).

My question is do you need transportation. I know a guy with a chopper, and I'd be willing to take the risk to aid my fellow man. I'd just need your coordinates.

No no I live in Colorado Springs and they got the day after the infection started. I don't know how far its spread, they don't seem too fast, but I haven't heard anything from Arizona since last monday.

And oh my god yes! There are six of on top of the US Bank building in downtown Colorado Springs... I i don't know what the coordinates are exactly but it isn't hard to miss.

PLEASE SAVE US!