ask her out?

[chaos raptor]

right so i recently started going to college after failing spectacularly at Alvls go me

im now doing a course in technical stage and theatre and its really good, and obviously i meet a girl whos really gods damn awesome. we both like the same music, films etc.

but there are a couple of problems
1)age- im 17, shes 20. i know i doesnt really matter but im not 18 till july and it means i cant go out drinking or anything like she does alot of the time and stuff.

2)other people- there are already 2 relationships in out class, and everyone kinda looks down on them really (well one is basically she just wants to get fucked again and he just wants to get fucked, so thats just stupid really) but the thing is we're gonna have to be working on shows together and alot of trust will be needed so if it goes down the shitter then it will be more awkward than usual (possibly,the last relationship i was in we broke up on neutral terms and im not a dick or anything (i think lol))

i just think shes so awesome and basically everything i wanted my ex to be (i mean that in the nicest way possible i swear)i just dont want it all to go wrong really and it to become awkward working with her

none of my other friends have given me great advice so far so was hoping you lot could help and give a better awnser than "go for it!" or "sounds dodgy man"

also i watch MLP and she doesnt know ¬_¬ dont know how that could affect things haha

any replies welcome (yays for 1st post ive done)

 

[tomtom94]

It sounds to my mind like you're definitely looking at a potential relationship from the perspective of a 17 year-old. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course; just that if she's 20, she might be looking for something more than "liking the same films/music and stuff". On the same note, why do you want a relationship with this girl, do you want to spend lots of time with her or do you just want "a girlfriend"?
The other sentence that worries me is "basically everything I wanted my ex to be" - I know first-hand how hard it is to get over someone, but if you're thinking about new girls in terms of exes, that isn't the best start.

I'd say you could always ask her out, there can't be anything wrong with that, and if you're worried about there being bad blood and all, just don't let it get too serious. I would, however, just question your motives for doing so one last time.

Also welcome to the Escapist, don't poke Kevin under the stairs or he'll eat you.

 

[Slash Dementia]

I'm not sure, you'll be risking the entire class for this if it doesn't work out. I want to say "go for it!" but the affects it could happen make me not want to--but it is ultimately your choice.

Get to know her better, invite her over, go out to eat--just spend time together. If things fall into place, let them. If they don't, don't let your affection towards her and her lack of interest affect class. What I'm saying is: get to know her better to make sure it's worth it.

Also, if you're thinking of your ex, you probably shouldn't go after her just yet.

Weigh your pros and cons, and good luck.

 

[chaos raptor]

thanks good point and yeah thanks for pointing out the ex situation.
lol tomtom94 yeah "hey we like the same music and stuff, wanna go out" sounds so stupid now XD

thanks both helped me realise that actually i just want a good friend to hang out with

thanks for the heads up about kevin XD

 

[Sovereignty]

1)age- im 17, shes 20. i know i doesnt really matter but im not 18 till july and it means i cant go out drinking or anything like she does alot of the time and stuff.

I don't think this is really a big deal. 3 years' difference is basically nothing in the grand scheme of things (unless the three years took one of you below the age of consent of course).

I disagree. At that sort of age, three years' difference takes you from juvenile issues such as how you're going to do on some random English exam to potentially deciding the results of a third-level course which dictates your career options. I'm 22, and would regard a 19-year-old to be hopelessly immature. Certainly, I'll think the same of 22-year-olds when I hit 25.

Couldn't be more right.


Of course there's a certain age where it begins to not matter so much. But OP is far from that point in his life.


OT: OP I wouldn't pull the apple from the tree just yet. Get to know the girl, form a friendship and see if you have more things in common aside from the basic, "Music and stuff".

Invite her to a concert. Go out for some coffee. Just make sure you test the water before you jump in.

Especially if the woman is older than you.

 

[similar.squirrel]

Women like older men. Because they tend to be more mature. You seem immature for even for a 17 year old. So don't ask her out.