Asking a girl/guy out via txt messaging
- Thread starter mik hardcore
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A guy asked me if I had any plans on Valentine's through a text.
There were three problems with this.
1. I was not interested in him at all in the first place, and nor had I provided any evidence I was (or at least I thought so).
2. I was legitimately busy and would literally have no time the entire day.
3. It very much irked me that he would ask through a text message. Sure, we only saw each other like once a week, but he could have texted and asked if I wanted to meet him for lunch or something, and then asked me in person.
I understand that the barriers people feel between these different lines of communication are getting thinner, but I think that a first date or confession of love is something that should always be done in person. Or at the very LEAST with your voice, through an actual phone call rather than a text message.
There were three problems with this.
1. I was not interested in him at all in the first place, and nor had I provided any evidence I was (or at least I thought so).
2. I was legitimately busy and would literally have no time the entire day.
3. It very much irked me that he would ask through a text message. Sure, we only saw each other like once a week, but he could have texted and asked if I wanted to meet him for lunch or something, and then asked me in person.
I understand that the barriers people feel between these different lines of communication are getting thinner, but I think that a first date or confession of love is something that should always be done in person. Or at the very LEAST with your voice, through an actual phone call rather than a text message.
It's time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea.
Good Idea: Texting your boyfriend or girlfriend to meet up.
Bad Idea: Texting a boy or girl you fancy to go out with you when you're not in a relationship with them.
Good Idea: Texting your boyfriend or girlfriend to meet up.
Bad Idea: Texting a boy or girl you fancy to go out with you when you're not in a relationship with them.
I think that should not be done. Emotion is hard to detect over a text message and whoever you are asking could think you are joking and never take you seriously. Also there is the possibility that it is not your friend who is text messaging you. It could really be one of their friends who has the phone and they could say something wierd and take advantage of the fact you think you are talking to your friend. All in all, many things could go wrong and asking them in person is the best way to go.
You're trying to play it safe.
If you don't have the balls to put yourself on the line in person, she probably wouldn't think you have the confidence level to be of any interest to her. Convenience is not a reason to avoid social interaction. It cheapens the whole thing.
Would you propose marriage to your girlfriend over Facebook?
If you don't have the balls to put yourself on the line in person, she probably wouldn't think you have the confidence level to be of any interest to her. Convenience is not a reason to avoid social interaction. It cheapens the whole thing.
Would you propose marriage to your girlfriend over Facebook?
Good things never come after someone says "We need to talk" lol. Anyway, if she already doesn't answer your text messages then that's not good. If you ask her out with a text then she can just ignore it if she wants to, and make up an excuse about not getting it afterwords. If you want an answer, you do it in person.
If it's not a super-serious thing, sure. Something like "Hey, you want to get some coffee later?" or something that is good. If she doesn't text back for something casual like that, she's not interested even as a friend.mik hardcore said:
But if you're declaring that you like him/her, do it in person. Always.
The last (and only I might add) date that I've been on was asked via text. Then he told me over IM that I looked pretty. And during the actual date we hardly talked to each other at all. I might be a coward too because I turned down a second date via text but he asked me on the second date via text. Then insisted I tell him if it was because I'm not interested in him or 'because I'm scared of a relationship' after I tried to let him down with being too mean. Then I was blunt about it by basically saying 'I'm not attracted to you.'
The entire thing was a cluster fuck.
The entire thing was a cluster fuck.
DO NOT ASK SOMEONE OUT VIA TEXT MESSAGE! It can only end badly from what I can see because its one thing to be outwardly rejected by a girl in a face-to-face conversation. I could deal with that just fine because they I could walk away and move on with my day. I feel like its worse to get rejected via text message because as you said they can just not answer back which is worse than actually getting an answer.mik hardcore said:
Asking someone out via text message just seems like a silly and detached way to ask someone out. When the whole point of a relationship is to become closer to someone you really like being around, or thats at least how I see it. To me asking someone out via text message just seems like a very cowardly thing to do and from what I've seen no girl wants to date a coward.
My point is even if you are ridiculously scared to ask a girl out find some way to work up the courage to ask her in person. That will automatically boost her respect of you tenfold because you actually had the courage to talk to her face-to-face. You have to remember girls are just girls and that one girl you want to ask out isn't the only one on the face of the Earth. If you get rejected don't get all down on yourself because more likely than not you'll get rejected far more often than you actually succeed.
No way. Take her out for lunch or something and ask her in the right setting. Asking a girl out via text is a horrible decision. Even if you're awkward in social situations, it's best to just build up your courage and ask her out. It means a lot more than a silly text message.