Assuming Heterosexuality

[Stu35]

is it wrong to assume that someone you meet is heterosexual?

No.

Heterosexual people are in the vast, vast majority. Chances are by assuming they're heterosexual you're right. Furthermore, for the vast, vast majority of conversations you're likely to have, sexuality has no relevance (for example, if you're talking about toast, and whether or not you prefer raspberry jam or blackberry jam, sexuality has fuck all to do with that.)

If you want to be 100% on the sexuality of everyone you meet, you'll have to make it a question very early on in the conversation with them, and that's fine if you're planning in talking about things where ones sexuality is important.



Personally, I don't give a fuck what sexuality someone is - if they want to tell me about their sexuality then that's up to them, but in the meantime I'll assume they're *whatever they stereotypically look/act like*, but mostly I won't care - I don't generally look at someone and think "ah, he's straight/gay/whatever", because there's other things I prefer to care about (usually judging them on what T-shirt they're wearing).

 

[f1r2a3n4k5]

Not at all. I assume everyone I meet is straight until told otherwise. It's just the nature of heterosexuality being the dominant majority.

The only thing difference is how you react to it. For example, they might be somewhat uncomfortable if you keep asking them about their "girlfriend." Although, probably not if they've been openly gay for any stretch of time.

However, a better question would be to ask about their "partner" or "significant other." Then, based off what they respond, you can modify your assumptions accordingly.

Either way. Not a big deal.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

It isn't unreasonable but I hate people assuming what my sexuality is, because they're probably wrong. Oh, you're in an opposite sex relationship, you must be straight. Oh, you're in a same-sex relationship, you must be gay. Incidentally I also hate the term 'gay marriage', prefer to just call it 'same-sex marriage' or you know, 'marriage'. That said I don't tell people what my sexuality is unless it's directly relevant to the conversation or they ask.

Personality unless I'm romantically interested in them I don't really care what someone's sexuality is. I start with a base of I don't know and then make reasonable assumptions as I get to know them or if they flat out say. This woman has indicated she is attracted to men and isn't attracted to women, probably safe to assume she's straight.

 

[small]

new person walks into your life. *rolls dice* critical success person is gay!

people are more likely to be heterosexual, its simply a matter of numbers

 

[Vault101]

Heterosexual people are in the vast, vast majority. Chances are by assuming they're heterosexual you're right. Furthermore, for the vast, vast majority of conversations you're likely to have, sexuality has no relevance (for example, if you're talking about toast, and whether or not you prefer raspberry jam or blackberry jam, sexuality has fuck all to do with that.)

If you want to be 100% on the sexuality of everyone you meet, you'll have to make it a question very early on in the conversation with them, and that's fine if you're planning in talking about things where ones sexuality is important.

I think youre underestimating how much it comes up in casual conversation, not only talking about significant others but making comments about saaay....fictional characters and such

I was talking about OITNB and how much I thourght Alex was awsome and oh my god fuck larry, piper needs to be with Alex...then afterwards I had to step back and think "oh shit...tone it down a bit man"

 

[Entitled]

is it wrong to assume that someone you meet is heterosexual?

Yes.

About 5-10% of people are gay, and it's wrong to assume instead that everyone falls into the other 95-90%.

It's "wrong" in the most fundamental way something can be wrong, it's not mathematically accurate, since 100=/=90.

Morally speaking, it's more complex. I would assume that you have four limbs, but I wouldn't assume that you have dark hair, even though it's a majority. Likewise, you are statistically likely to be male, but keeping gender-neutral pronouns is the norm when addressing online strangers.

It seems to me, that as long as possible alternatives have no practical influence on you, not making any assumptions is the norm, even if one possibility is more common than the other. In this sense, assuming that someone is straight is problematic, because it implies that it's not an equally valid alternative like hair color, or like gender in a random discussion, but a situation where a norm has to be set for your convenience.

 

[The White Hunter]

No, the vast majority of the population is heterosexual, and a significant proportion of those that aren't don't have real behavioural differences to distinguish them anyway.

Tbh the more people assume I'm heterosexual the easier life is. Prevents those annoying questions people ask.

 

[Denamic]

Heterosexuality is the most common sexual orientation, so assuming strangers to be heterosexual is a generally safe bet. It's not like you're deciding on vital matters regarding the global balance of military power. Just change your mind as necessary when you're more informed.

 

[DANEgerous]

This is actually a rather hot debate, as a bisexual male I fall fiercely on the side of no despite having people outright disbelieve I have had people outright deny I have ever had a Homosexual relationship. The idea is known as Heteronormativity and it is intensely disliked by some people. Personally I just can not be bothered to care, I am open about my relationships and sexuality I do not where such things on my sleeve but if they come up they do and if you do not believe me I simply do not care, and it goes the other way once someone found a porn involving me an another guy my reaction was almost nonexistent other than hitting on him.

 

[Molinism]

Often when first meeting people sexuality would be the last thing on my mind. The first thing on my mind is whether or not they're friendly to me and others around me.

 

[Something Amyss]

I assume everyone is gay unless proven otherwise.

 

[Someone Depressing]

Only about 1 in 5 people are gay, and probably less are bisexual or of any other LGBT orientation. So even without those statistics in mind, it's probably normal to assume everyone you meet, unless you are informed otherwise, is heterosexual.

Most gay people I know don't really acknowledge or adhere to many stereotypes, if any at all. They'll like pretty darn homosexual things - like witches, and Judy Garland - but their sexual partners would tip you off sooner than their non-existent campness would.

 

[The Lunatic]

Well, as somebody who is gay.

We're a small minority of people. It is natural to assume most people are straight based on the numbers alone, and I personally take no offence to it.

I'm of the opinion that having homosexuality impact my life in such a small way that I'm no different from anyone else and thus mistakable, is probably the best form of equality.

 

[Skatologist]

Okay, I thought about this line of reasoning. Would the responses be any different if the OP had said "Assuming Monotheistic Belief" or "Assuming Afterlife belief"?

 

[Danny Dowling]

A while ago I met someone at work. I never talked much with them but later found out that they were homosexual and it surprised me. I don't care about other people's sexuality but It got me to thinking: is it wrong to assume that someone you meet is heterosexual?

just need to tweak your gay-dar mate. mine's so strong i knew Tom Daley was gay when he still had a girlfriend.

like other people said though you'll naturally assume people are straight unless they're extremely camp, so no harm no foul.

 

[The Lunatic]

Okay, I thought about this line of reasoning. Would the responses be any different if the OP had said "Assuming Monotheistic Belief" or "Assuming Afterlife belief"?

Would depend upon the place you live.

But, in a lot of places, the numbers are just different.

In a survey in 2009 by the BSA, the UK was found to have a 50.7% population which defined themselves as "No Religion".

Thus, assuming religion in this instance would be incorrect.


For comparison, in the UK, a survey in 2011 by the Office of National Statistics found only 1.1% of participants entered "Gay or Lesbian".

 

[lowtech redneck]

I don't care about other people's sexuality but It got me to thinking: is it wrong to assume that someone you meet is heterosexual?

Its no more morally wrong than assuming that someone can see in color or cannot taste a sound....there are exceptions, but they are just that, and the opposite is, for all practical purposes, the 'human condition' around which any sustainable society must be based. There is no inherent moral relevance to individuals having the atypical characteristics in question, and its immoral to deny someone equal rights or privileges on just that basis, but its simply irrational and likely counterproductive toward utilitarian social ends to bend over backwards to avoid acknowledging standard human characteristics because some people use such differences as a reason to unnecessarily discriminate against people.

 

[Silvanus]

its simply irrational and likely counterproductive toward utilitarian social ends to bend over backwards to avoid acknowledging standard human characteristics [...]

How would it be counter-productive to utilitarian social ends to refrain from assuming anything about somebody's sexuality?


I'm not arguing we should never assume; I often assume, myself, though I also frequently remind myself that I may be wrong.

 

[wadark]

Depends on the context of the interactions and conversations. If you're having conversations about things relevant to those areas, then it would be best not to assume.

BUT, considering that the majority is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is, in some ways, a biological default (clarity: I'm not saying homosexuality is wrong in any way, shape or form), I don't think its that big a deal if you do assume, regardless. I'd hope it wouldnt be too much for your friend to say, "Oh, yeah, well I'm actually into other guys." And you say "Oh, cool, not for me but I respect that." And life goes on with sunshine and rainbows...gay rainbows.