At that Age, and Im not one of them?!

[SaetonChapelle]

Im now almost twenty three, and I noticed something interesting. Maybe its different for everyone, but suddenly everyone around me is either married, or having children. All of my female friends, or at least ones I knew a couple years ago, are suddenly pregnant. And Im being bugged by them as to why I dont have a significant other and am not settling down. All the while Im still in college. Im not saying having children at whatever age you're ready is a bad thing, but is this stage normal? And what age did you guys start noticing this? Maybe its just me. xD

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

At my age, it's harder to think of an example to equate this with, but I haven't been in a relationship for over a year and my parents/friends sometimes nag me on this from time to time about this but it ultimately doesn't fase me. I personally think 23 is a little young to be in the 'settling down' and most people in families and the like that I've seen tend to be those that start in their early 30's or at the earliest their late 20's and I think that's probably more of an appropriate age to do so. Personally I've never been concerned with societal pressures and doing what is expected of me and I currently would say that I firmly don't want to get married or have kids. My attitude towards the latter my change over time, but when your as young as 23 you should really give yourself the time to discover what it is you want and if it's something that you want to pursue in later life then go for it. In short, no, from what I've seen people do not expect or question why people have not thought about settling down at this age and I think that's a good thing.

 

[DKen2021]

I suppose so. I'm 19, but I have seen some women I've been to school with expecting or married. Mainly it's either had sex at an earlier age or didn't had protection, so they think marriage is the only way to take care of their child.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Don't sweat it. I'd wager more than half of them will end of divorced before they're 40, and more than a quarter before they're 30. Not that I actually wish that on any of them of course.
Wait till you get to my age (29) then start panicking.

 

[Nimcha]

I'm 24 and also still studying, but I don't see this at all. Maybe because most people I associate with are likeminded. I love travelling, and you can't do much of that if you're shackled to some kid. Not that I ever want to get pregnant though, but the thought of raising kids at some point isn't totally repulsive.

I have been settling down a bit though, my current relationship has been going on for 2,5 years and there are no signs of it ending any time soon.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I'm 25 and I noticed it about a year ago, it was really weird. All of a sudden my friends are getting married or having kids, and I'm being asked if I could watch them for a night.

So yes, it's very normal, it's mind fuckery at it's finest.

 

[archvile93]

If you know people that are married and expecting while still in college or earlier I can almost guarentee that in most, if not all, of those marraiges, the only supporter was a shotgun. Suffice to say, I wouldn't worry about. If there's anything you shouldn't rush, it's children and marraige. I'm 21 and don't know anyone like that by the way, though I barely know anyone.

 

[Rawne1980]

I was 23 when I got married. We had 1 kid before and 2 after the marriage.

The missus had 2 kids from a previous relationship so it was a ready made family anyway.

I was in the army at the time so was rarely home until a couple of years ago.

We've been together about 9 years married for 7. I was ready for marriage by then though. At that time I had been in the military for 7 years and been all over the world near enough, seen a lot and I had done a lot of growing up from my teen years. Luckily she was an understanding lass and didn't mind me being in the forces, if it hadn't been for my bloody shattered knee i'd still be there.

 

[Dags90]

It depends where you live. In places with high incomes and high costs of living like where I live, people usually settle down closer to their late 20's. It's simply not feasible for most people to move out and afford a child/house until then.

My cousin experienced the reverse. She had kids (and moved) in her early 20's, and now all her old friends are starting to have kids as they approach their 30's.

 

[keideki]

I'm 23 and still in college. Nothing to be ashamed of! Just because you don't operate on the same schedule that all your friends do is nothing to worry about. I know a bunch of people who are 'settling down' and having kids, and their lives are MISERABLE! Hahaha, but seriously everyone goes though their life at a different pace.

 

[Fingers O'Toole]

Good luck, it's gonna get worse. Lots of older people will force "traditions" on you more as time passes.
If you don't believe me, get a female from your friends/family to tell a group of older people she either doesn't want to marry or have children; at least one of them will be outraged because they can't fathom why a girl wouldn't want to be a parent or wouldn't want to make their relationship legally recognized, regardless of their reasons (I have a feeling this stems from the whole raising girls with dolls, kitchens and princesses, etc. being a traditional thing for decades).

 

[KaizokuouHasu]

Well... I'm not sure why you would think about something like this now. If the thought of 'settling' and having children haven't crossed you yet, it probably means you're not quite ready to take on such a responsibility. That said, not everyone who becomes parents are ready to be. It just happens.

I'm 20, and I hope by the time I'm 35 I'll have had my children already. But that said; I'm not exactly in a rush to start my own. I guess it all depends on what you value in life. I value security. Once I've established myself (education, work, income, that jazz) I may start trying for a family. That said, if something comes up ahead of time then that might not be a bad thing. It would be in reverse though. Once I hit 40 I know that it'll be to late for me. I don't want to be 60 years old when I go so see my children graduate from future school. *shivers*

 

[SaetonChapelle]

I see its different for everyone. At the moment Im not rushing to find someone. I actually just ended a long term relationship (5 years!). I adore to travel, especially cons, and the last thing I need is a kid atm. I couldnt even afford it. Which makes me wonder how all of my friends are when most work in the same industry as I do. Fascinating.

 

[Nimcha]

I'm 23 and still in college. Nothing to be ashamed of! Just because you don't operate on the same schedule that all your friends do is nothing to worry about. I know a bunch of people who are 'settling down' and having kids, and their lives are MISERABLE! Hahaha, but seriously everyone goes though their life at a different pace.

And not everyone is on the same schedule

 

[LiraelG]

I'm 21 and a few of my friends have had babies or are due to have one, but I think the idea is scary. I don't feel too young for a long-lasting relationship, but kids?!?! I haven't finished working on myself yet.

I don't know whether I ever want children. If I do, I'll wait 'til I'm 30/35. I'll wait until I have a career and a good house, and enough money to support the family.

Don't feel you're behind. We all live life at a different pace.

 

[FamoFunk]

I'm only just 21 and most people I went to school with are either married/in-pig/with child or all the above.

I myself am with child so it's normal to me to see this happen.

 

[MoNKeyYy]

I've actually noticed a lot of people around that age getting married too. My cousin got married at 22 had her first kid at 23, her brother married at 24 or 25 (haha can't even remember how old he is) and her sister at 27. A girl I work with is 19 and her boyfriend just proposed to her. So to answer your question; people getting married and settling down earlier in life is an increasingly common trend but ultimately the average marriage age is still around 30 and you need to be 100% sure before entering a commitment like that so don't sweat it.

 

[The Lawn]

I won't be done with school till I'm nearly 25, and I'm in no rush at all to settle down.
Hell I don't even consider myself as an adult yet. I still have growing to do, but in the mental and professional direction.
Once I have a steady job, and have a pillow to land on if things go bad, then I'll start looking.
But right now, with all the work I have with jobs/projects/school I really don't have time. I'm either asleep, at work, at school or working on one of many things I have to do.

So yeah, 23 is far to early... I don't even have time for a relationship, let alone a family.

 

[Radeonx]

Interesting. I'm 22 and I know 1 person my age who's getting married, and he's just my neighbor.
I'm probably the closest to getting married out of everyone since I have a very good job and an apartment and am settled, but it is still a very long way off til I'm gonna get married.