Avoiding the 'Friend Zone'

[R.Nevermore]

I have a long history of being the 'nice guy'.

"You're such a good listener!"
"I can always count on you."
"You're such a great guy."

I hear that crap all the time. I also hear this crap all the time...

"Youre a great friend."
"I think we should just be friends."
"I just don't feel that way about you."

Well women are a mystery to me apparently. Well, the point is, I just started talking to this girl who I have a romantic interest in and I am worried about hearing the same damn phrases over and over again.

Ladies and Gentlemen, what tips do we have for myself and our fellow escapists on avoiding 'The Friend Zone'?

 

[Kahunaburger]

Well, if you want to date a girl, a good first step is to ask her out on a date

Seriously, the whole "nice guy" thing is completely overstated. Just be confident and take opportunities when they show up.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Well, if you want to date a girl, a good first step is to ask her out on a date

This.

Dating is not rocket science. Ask her out. Accept response and act accordingly.

So pick up your ball sac and do it.

 

[R.Nevermore]

Well, if you want to date a girl, a good first step is to ask her out on a date

Seriously, the whole "nice guy" thing is completely overstated. Just be confident and take opportunities when they show up.

Of course of course. I've already done that but I am placed into an unfortunate situation where she is out of town all week. We will be going out when she gets back. However all week we will be keeping in touch via skype and texting, giving me ample opportunity to forge that meaningful and oh so frustrating bond of friendship.

So tell me, how can I avoid this?

 

[R.Nevermore]

Oops double post

 

[Luthir Fontaine]

O friendville how i hate thee at times hahah. What ive learned is to drop it. Simply saying I would like to go on a date with you saves you both time and energy rather then dickin about with friendships.
If that fails go with plan B: sleep with her friends instead

Thier words to live by

 

[The Zango]

"You're such a good listener!"
"I can always count on you."
"You're such a great guy."



"Youre a great friend."
"I think we should just be friends."
"I just don't feel that way about you."

Story of my life bro, I've heard these phrases soooo many times over the past three years. But atleast count yourself lucky that the few girls who are interested in you aren't batshit insane, thats never fun... No it is not.

If that fails go with plan B: sleep with her friends instead

Thier words to live by

You have much to teach us

 

[Doti]

Well, if you want to date a girl, a good first step is to ask her out on a date

Seriously, the whole "nice guy" thing is completely overstated. Just be confident and take opportunities when they show up.

Of course of course. I've already done that but I am placed into an unfortunate situation where she is out of town all week. We will be going out when she gets back. However all week we will be keeping in touch via skype and texting, giving me ample opportunity to forge that meaningful and oh so frustrating bond of friendship.

So tell me, how can I avoid this?

Well, I guess you could still be friendly as well as flirty, occasionally dropping subtle hints that you're looking for more in that particular relationship, and then proceeding to ask her out when she does return.

Just don't outright ask her out through text in the meantime. Seriously.

Edit: Oh bugger, I failed to read that you had already asked her. There should really be no problem then. There is always a bond of friendship in any meaningful relationship, and it's not that by itself that undermines the "nice guy", but rather her confusing your advances for simple kindness you'd show to any friend.

Point is, if you have already made perfectly clear what your intentions are, a bond of friendship should not harm your chances at that particular relationship. On the contrary.

You'll be fine.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

Eh, I wouldn't worry about it. Most of the girls I know all play these fucking mind games behind people's backs. I find it much more funny to listen in to their sob stories and not get caught.

 

[Brandon237]

How's about actually asking them out? I have heard that is quite effective.

To be perfectly honest, I can't speak from experience, because my gf and I were good friends and eventually we started becoming... more than good friends. So for me those phrases actually marked the beginning of of the relationship. Don't hate me XD

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Any girl who is more interested in the guys who treat her badly and ignores the good guys is probably not the kind of girl who would make you happy anyway.

Hang in there and you'll meet a good one eventually.

Of course, you could just become an arrogant douchebag and become a chick magnet. It's your choice.

 

[Cheyenne Fuller]

This is from a girl's point of view.

Not all girls' point of views, but it is mine. You have to make the first move. If you are treating me like a friend, then thats where its going to stay. At least for me i'm too shy to really start a relationship.