I don't act how I write. I write like an emo prick but I'm not. Like i said, it's just more well recieved.
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- Thread starter SnucklesMan
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One thing I have always done is repetition but maybe I got too carried away. And thanks.Quoth said:
coming from a guy that does write a fair bit of poetry, posting it anywhere other than literature sites and creative arts forums is usually an act of inciting flame bait.
it was good though, don't get me wrong but maybe a more appropriate place would be more suitable for it's appreciation.
it was good though, don't get me wrong but maybe a more appropriate place would be more suitable for it's appreciation.
I took my shirt off in the yard
I'm not dead, I'm just there
All the skin on my shoulders is golden
Now its not, my shirts back on
I forgot my song, the golden is gone
The glow is gone
I can not get though without a battle
I face death, but I heard my own breath
I'm not dead, My face is red
My blood flows harshly, My heart beats loudly
I have to face that I'm still living
I'm still flesh
I hold it, I'm boring, there's no end.
I'm not dead, I'm just there
All the skin on my shoulders is golden
Now its not, my shirts back on
I forgot my song, the golden is gone
The glow is gone
I can not get though without a battle
I face death, but I heard my own breath
I'm not dead, My face is red
My blood flows harshly, My heart beats loudly
I have to face that I'm still living
I'm still flesh
I hold it, I'm boring, there's no end.
That's pretty good. I wrote something simalar but its more about the struggle to understand the complex thought of "me"
Would I be skinned alive for posting another one? You guys can post any works of art you may have. Pictures, poems, stories, anything.
. Or you're best as people can't see the difference.
I didn't mean for it to be all about me. I would like to see other people's work aswell. I know there are already posts but those are such eyeball fucks that i had to make my ownEcoEclipse said:
i kinda like REALLY want feedback on this. It's really long but please read it. I put a lot of effort into it and I want to do something with it. I'm looking for any tips at all. Don't whine cuz it's long cuz i clearly warned it was long. You know what you're getting yourself into
Benjamin sat alone in the yard as usual but he didn't mind, he liked it this way. Although he preferred it alone, Benjamin was not dismayed when he noticed his 3 best friends - rather his 3 only friends, Kyle Freight, Rebecca Paulsen, and Max Cole approaching him. They walked in their "formation" that they always seemed to walk in. Max walked at the head of their group leading their little convoy to the destination. Rebecca walked alongside him and Kyle "The Newbie" followed behind Max as quiet as a mouse. As they got closer, Benjamin could see the look on Max's face. He had a plan. 'BENJAMIN!" Max screamed. Benjamin ignored Max's summonings for as long as he could but he knew that Max would grow impatient come over to him so he saw no further point in remaining where he was. He slowly lifted his wiry frame and made his way to his friend. "My parents are out of town today and they are coming back tomorrow so Rebecca and Kyle are coming over tonight. You in?" Benjamin looked down at the ground, ashamed to say this to his friend because he knew his response before he said a word. "I can't. I have other plans." Sure enough, Max went off on one of his rantings about how he "always says that" and "what plans? he never does anything" but it didn't phase Benjamin what so ever. The thing that caught his attention was what Rebecca said. "Why? Give a real reason." Benjamin was insulted. He did have other plans. Real plans. Not hanging out with his stupid friends playing video games like some nerd. "That is a real reason!" Rebecca looked at him with a disapproving glare. "I need a specific reason. That's so vague. Give a specific reason." Max looked at her, impressed. Never had he been able to convince Benjamin to come with them in all the nine years he had known him. "You know, you're right. I have never hung out with you guys before. I have known Max since kindergarten and I have never spent the night at his house. Rebecca, I have known you since 6th grade and never hung out with you guys outside of school. Kyle, I met you this year and barely even know you. OK. I'll go." Max was thrilled. He knew that tonight would be a great night full of fun and laughter. He couldn't wait. Benjamin could.
"Player One wins!" The loud and grim sounding voice rang through the house. "Yeah baby! UNDEFEATED!" cried Kyle, waving his hands in the air as if trying to catch a fly. The kids had been home for about 2 hours now. They had played games for the entire time and weren't planning on changing that any time soon. "Why do you have to be freakishly good AND arrogant?" said Rebecca. "I can't help what God made me!" said Kyle, smirking. Kyle accidentally knocked over some popcorn. "Hey! Easy Kyle! I don't want my parents to know you guys were here!" said Max. Max's room was in the attic. It was a secluded place, up a flight or two of stairs and a ladder. He had a secret section where his bed was on one side of the room and on the other was where he kept his items of interest including all of his games and his computer. There were two recliners. One was blue fabric and very soft to the touch. Max usually sat in this chair but if Rebecca was over, it was hers. The other was yellow. It was made of cracked leather and smelled a little of bad breath. You know, like right when you wake up? Benjamin sat in this chair and was almost overwhelmed by the stench but he quickly grew accustomed to it and it no longer bothered him. A window was to his immediate left. Outside was a great, large nothing. The time on the clock was 10 pm, and it was dark. Really dark. Max lived in the suburbs in a special part of town. You see, this area of the city had no streetlights. Max didn't like this. He was easily scared, and the darkness unnerved him. The new game started, and everyone's attention quickly shifted to the TV. All but one. Benjamin was gazing out the dark window. "Come on, Ben. You can't see anything. Play the game" said Max. But Benjamin seemed to be in his own world. He continued to stare at the empty abyss, eyes glazed over. "Come on, Benjamin. Play the game" said Rebecca. Benjamin's head slowly turned from the window, never looking away until the last second. "Sorry guys. I - I don't know what came over me" Benjamin stammered. He picked up his controller and joined the game. His hands were shaking, but the other just figured that it was just because he was behind by 25 points. Benjamin was very good at the game they were playing, so he caught up quite fast. When the trembling moved from his hands to his entire body, his friends began to worry. "What's wrong, Benjamin" asked Max. Benjamin said nothing. "Ben! Why are you shaking like that? You are scaring me!" Benjamin slowly stopped himself from shaking and looked Max in the eye. He said slowly "Nothing is wrong. Nothing at all."
Benjamin kept up his strange behavior and it was starting to get on Kyle's nerves. Kyle wanted more than anything to be alone with Rebecca, and he knew that Max also had a crush on her. He knew that if he did not act quickly, Max would steal her from him. He was about to ask her if she would come with him downstairs when Max screamed. He was shaking all over. His face was white as a ghost. Rebecca ran to him and immediately started comforting him in her soothing way. Kyle was extremely angry. Max was already making his move. "What did you see Max?" asked Rebecca. Max pointed at the corner of the room and croaked "I saw . . . a person . . but . . . it wasn't a person . . ." "How was it not a person?" questioned Benjamin. Max began to sweat and finally managed to whisper "It had no face". At this Benjamin smiled. "It's call 'vultus vacuus vultus', or 'the face without a face'. It's the first sign that they are coming." "Who's 'they'" asked Kyle. Benjamin whispered "imagine all peace being torn away. Imagine there is only fear. When they have you, warmth does not exist. Nothing is sacred and nothing is safe." Kyle was outraged. He knew that Max was faking. Benjamin was Max's wingman. They obviously planned this so Max could make his move on Rebecca. "This is stupid," said Kyle furiously, "I'm gonnna go next door and get Mr. Sparks to come over and stay with us. He's cool right?" By this time, Max had recovered and regained his grip on reality. "Yeah... That sounds fine..." Max groaned. "NO," cried Benjamin, "YOU CAN'T GO! THEY WILL GET YOU!" Max suddenly jumped from his chair and grabbed Kyle. He's right Kyle. They will get you. I saw them. They're real..." Kyle shook Max off and approached Benjamin, a crazed look in his eye. He stuck his face right in Benjamin's and screamed "THEY AREN'T REAL! STOP SAYING THEY ARE!!!" Benjamin said nothing. He just smiled. He knew the truth and that was all that mattered. Kyle tore his look away from the silent Benjamin and stormed downstairs.
Max wanted to keep 'Them' off his mind as much as possible. "I think we should all just calm down and try to forget any of this happened. I'm gonna go downstairs and get some snacks and we can have a normal night. Ok?" Rebecca agreed with him and he started to make his way to the kitchen. The kitchen was on the bottom floor of the house and the thought of going that far from his friends made Max want to run back upstairs and hide under his pillow. The house Max lived in was quite old and creaked often. It never seemed to bother Max before today. Every squeak and groan the house made caused Max's very bones to shake. The walk to the kitchen was an especially lonely one. It seemed like Max had been traveling for ages when he finally made it to the bottom floor. Every step he took required all of his energy and focus. He could feel his energy being sapped from his very soul, his will to continue overcome by fear. He was certain he was done for. Yes. This was the end for poor Max Cole. But no! It was not for there was the kitchen, a mere five feet in front of Max. He could not give in to the fear this close to his goal, and he did not. He made it but those five feet were the longest five feet Max had ever travelled. When he finally entered the kitchen he was so happy that he forgot about 'Them'. Only for a moment, though, because he looked around the room and noticed something strange in the corner. He looked closer. There it was again! Vultus vacuus vultus. Max's blood ran cold. They were real. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself, he could not escape the truth. They. . . were. . . real. He knew it was against his better judgment but he had to know what vultus vacuus vultus looked like in the light but as soon as the lights were on, it was gone. Max thought long and hard about his next move. It was a crucial one. He finally decided it was safe to enter the kitchen but he made sure to stay no longer than he needed to in order to complete his task. He quickly made his way to the drawer where he kept his special snacks that were for him and him alone. He grabbed four bags of chips (he knew Kyle would be back) and ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs as fast as he could. Once he climbed to the 2nd floor, he felt much safer. That is, until he looked behind him and saw vultus vacuus vultus at the bottom of the staircase watching him. This was all it took to get Max up the 2nd flight of stairs and back into his room. But he still could not rest The scene that lie in front of him was far beyond disturbing. Max's possessions were everywhere. Cards littered the floor, batteries were stuck in the TV, papers were covering most of the room, his computer was overturned on the floor and Benjamin sat in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth, back and forth. But there was something else was wrong. Very wrong. Rebecca was missing.
Max's throat went dry. He was unable to speak. It seemed to him like he would never speak again. In reality, it only lasted a few minutes however. After Max could speak again, he could find no words to express his terror. All that came out was a hoarse scream. Finally, he was able to form a sentence. He approached Benjamin and looked at him closely. "Benjamin," max managed to choke out, "where's Rebecca?" Benjamin said nothing, but kept rocking. "BENJAMIN! Where's Rebecca?" Benjamin didn't seem to notice Max. He went on rocking and began to mutter gibberish under his breath. Max couldn't believe what had happened to his friend. He didn't know what had happened to his friend. All he knew was that it was bad. Very bad. "Benjamin! Benjamin! Talk to me!! Where is Rebecca?! What happened here?!" Benjamin continued muttering, but his nonsense began to form words. Max couldn't really understand him, but he could make out one continuously repeated phrase "Here . . . gone. Here . . . gone. Here . . . gone." Benjamin said it through gritted teeth and a vicious smile. "BENJAMIN!!! WHERE IS REBECCA!!?" Max screamed at Benjamin. Benjamin stopped rocking and looked up at Max. "I don't know what happened" he breathed in a sinister tone. "She was here, but now she's gone. In the blink of an eye, she disappeared . . . I don't know what happened. Now GET OUT OF MY FACE!!" Benjamin stood up and screamed at Max. "Ben? what is wrong with you tonight? You've been acting so strange" said Max. Benjamin looked at Max with a truly hateful expression, but it soon broke and he began to weep. he slowly approached Max, head hung low. "I'm sorry. I . . . I don't know what's wrong. Please . . . please forgive me" Benjamin managed to choke out through tears. "It's ok. It's ok Ben. I forgive you." said Max. At this moment, they heard a sound. An unmistakable sound. The sound of the front door opening.
For a moment, Max's entire body shut down. All of his senses and all of his basic functions turned off. He could not walk. He could not speak. He could not think. He could barely even breathe. He began to gain his control over his body back again and thought about what he had to do next. 'They' were in the house. 'They' were coming to get him. "How do you defend against 'Them'?" thought Max. He could not find a reasonable weapon to protect himself so he hid and kept quiet. Absolutely quit. He heard the attic stairs begin to squeak. Fear over took his body and he began to tremble. He tried to force himself to stop but he could not. Soon the squeaking stopped and a voice called out, "Hello?" It was Rebecca. Max and Benjamin were safe. Rebecca was drenched in sweat and could barely stand. She was carrying the 180 lb. Kyle, his arm slung over her shoulders. Before she collapsed, Max grabbed Kyle and laid him down on the ground. That's when he noticed the blood. "What happened to Kyle?" asked Benjamin. "Rebecca didn't answer for she was panting too hard. After a couple minutes, she regained her breath at last and stated "Kyle tripped and hit his head. He is out cold." "How did he fall?" questioned Max. "Well let me tell you from the beginning. I started wondering if Kyle was gonna be alright by himself. I mean everyone gets scared. So, I snuck out of the house (I knew you wouldnt let me go) to find Kyle and go with him. When I made it outside, I saw the faint outline of what looked like a pile of clothes. I slowly walked up to it and realized it was a body. I rushed over only to find that it was Kyle's body that was in front of me, blood dripping from his head. I checked his vitals and he was just knocked out. He had obviously been scared somehow because his heart was still racing. I tried to get him to come to but failed. He woke up enough to help me carry him back but the journey took all my strength." "How did he fall?" asked Benjamin. "I'm guessing," Rebecca explained, "that he ran from Mr. Sparks? house and tripped and hit his head." "OK good." said Max in relief. "I think," suggested Max, "that we should try to keep our minds off of all that has gone on tonight. 'They' can't be real. We are just freaking ourselves out." Benjamin agreed. "Why don't you get a movie so we can calm down a little. "That sounds like a good idea." agreed Rebecca. "Ok I will." said Max. He went down to the living room to pick a movie. When he returned five or six minutes later, Rebecca was missing again. This time, Max didn't think much of it because his room was not any more trashed and Benjamin was just sitting in the chair. Max walked over to him and asked calmly, "Where did Rebecca go this time?" Benjamin said nothing but pointed a shaky finger to his immediate left, at the open window.
Max could not wrap his head around the facts. Rebecca was gone. 'They' had taken her. What was he going to do? 'They' would come back. 'They' knew how to get in. Max was done for. This was the end for him and his friends. He could not believe it would end like this. Why God, why? Why was this happening? "I . . . I can't believe 'They' took her. It's all over now. Benjamin don't you see? 'They' can get in now. 'They' know how. We are going to die." Benjamin blinked and something switched in his brain. He approached Max in a friendly way. "They aren't gonna get you Max. I won't let them. It's all gonna be ok." he said soothingly. "No it's not! 'They' are gonna kill me and then 'They' are gonna kill you! It's done Ben. We are through." Max moaned. 'Max . . . just breathe. It will all be over soon." Benjamin said, smiling. "Wha-what?" Max stammered. "The less you fear it, the less it will hurt," Benjamin purred "Just relax and let what happens . . . happen." Max was dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Benjamin knew they were going to die and he wanted it to happen! How could he do this? "Ben! What's gotten into you? You want to die?" "I don't want to die but no sense in fighting the inevitable. Now . . . relax."
Kyle slowly awoke, groggy and in pain. With much difficulty, he opened his eyes and saw a sinister sight. Benjamin sat directly in front of Kyle, staring at him. A Rubik's cube was in Benjamin's hands but he didn't seem to need to look at it. his gaze was fixed on Kyle. Kyle looked around, though every movement pained him greatly. "Wh-Where is everyone?" Kyle stammered. "You were out for quite a long time." Benjamin said with a smile on his face. "What are you talking about? Where are Max and Rebecca?" Kyle questioned. "Tell me what happened Kyle. How did you fall?" Benjamin continued to fiddle with the cube but never moving his eyes off of Kyle. "Where are my friends!" Kyle screamed. Benjamin stopped smiling. He dropped the cube and sat back in his chair. "You know Kyle," Benjamin began, "you really get to know a person in their last moments." "What do you mean?" Kyle asked. "Well, take Max for example," said Benjamin, "Always so sweet just like his mother but that temper. That temper obviously came from his father. But in the end, neither could save him, and Rebecca! Oh lovely Rebecca. So logical. So thoughtful. So smart and yet so foolish. She takes after her father as well but unfortunately, she did not inherit his strength." This had to be a prank. Max and Rebecca couldn't be dead! it wasn't possible. This was all just a big joke. "How could you do this to another human? How? This is cruel!!!" Kyle said, forcing back tears. "It's not funny anymore! Come out Max! Come out Rebecca! I figured it out! You guys have been planning this since you've known me. You said to each other, 'This new kid Kyle seems like a geek. Let's prank him. Benjamin, you act crazy and never hang out with us. Then when you finally do, we will pretend you are killing us.' Well I'm on to you now! The joke is on you!" Benjamin just smiled. "You don't understand, do you? They're gone. Long gone." Kyle refused to believe it. As he looked up at Benjamin, he watched Benjamin?s face twist into a hideous, frightening sight. None other than vultus vacuus vultus. Kyle screamed a blood curdling scream and grabbed a pen from the table next to him. he hurled himself at Benjamin, sinking the pen deep into Benjamin?s neck. Benjamin stumbled backwards, choking on his own blood. He fell back in his chair and his eyes rolled up in his head. As the life left Benjamin?s body, Kyle watched as Benjamin?s facial features came back to view and he realized what he had done. He looked to the side only to see the mangled, bloodied bodies of his former friends. He could not face the facts that he had killed them. All of them. He slowly sank to the floor and began uttering the last words he would ever speak again. "I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing."
The next day, Max's parents came home. They slowly crept into his room to surprise him and take him out to breakfast. When they saw his bed was empty, they began it worry. His father tries to call him while his mother searched the room. It wasn't long before she noticed the bodies. "MAX!" she screamed. She rushed over and was so wrapped up in her son's death that she didn't notice Benjamin and Rebecca for a while. "Oh my God! What happened? Max is dead! He-he's dead! How?" She began to sob. Screaming with pain. Calling out to whoever did this. Kyle slowly crept out from behind the chairs. "I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing." he chanted. "Kyle? What happened? How did all of this happen?" Max's mother wailed. "I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing." Kyle continued to mutter. 'Oh no...you didn't. How could you, Kyle? YOU KILLED THEM!" said Max's mom. Kyle just looked at her, horrified. He kept chanting "I did the right thing" until his throat was dry. Little did she know that at that very second, Kyle was watching her face twist into the horrifying, disturbing, corrupting image of vultus vacuus vulltus.
I did the right thing.
"Player One wins!" The loud and grim sounding voice rang through the house. "Yeah baby! UNDEFEATED!" cried Kyle, waving his hands in the air as if trying to catch a fly. The kids had been home for about 2 hours now. They had played games for the entire time and weren't planning on changing that any time soon. "Why do you have to be freakishly good AND arrogant?" said Rebecca. "I can't help what God made me!" said Kyle, smirking. Kyle accidentally knocked over some popcorn. "Hey! Easy Kyle! I don't want my parents to know you guys were here!" said Max. Max's room was in the attic. It was a secluded place, up a flight or two of stairs and a ladder. He had a secret section where his bed was on one side of the room and on the other was where he kept his items of interest including all of his games and his computer. There were two recliners. One was blue fabric and very soft to the touch. Max usually sat in this chair but if Rebecca was over, it was hers. The other was yellow. It was made of cracked leather and smelled a little of bad breath. You know, like right when you wake up? Benjamin sat in this chair and was almost overwhelmed by the stench but he quickly grew accustomed to it and it no longer bothered him. A window was to his immediate left. Outside was a great, large nothing. The time on the clock was 10 pm, and it was dark. Really dark. Max lived in the suburbs in a special part of town. You see, this area of the city had no streetlights. Max didn't like this. He was easily scared, and the darkness unnerved him. The new game started, and everyone's attention quickly shifted to the TV. All but one. Benjamin was gazing out the dark window. "Come on, Ben. You can't see anything. Play the game" said Max. But Benjamin seemed to be in his own world. He continued to stare at the empty abyss, eyes glazed over. "Come on, Benjamin. Play the game" said Rebecca. Benjamin's head slowly turned from the window, never looking away until the last second. "Sorry guys. I - I don't know what came over me" Benjamin stammered. He picked up his controller and joined the game. His hands were shaking, but the other just figured that it was just because he was behind by 25 points. Benjamin was very good at the game they were playing, so he caught up quite fast. When the trembling moved from his hands to his entire body, his friends began to worry. "What's wrong, Benjamin" asked Max. Benjamin said nothing. "Ben! Why are you shaking like that? You are scaring me!" Benjamin slowly stopped himself from shaking and looked Max in the eye. He said slowly "Nothing is wrong. Nothing at all."
Benjamin kept up his strange behavior and it was starting to get on Kyle's nerves. Kyle wanted more than anything to be alone with Rebecca, and he knew that Max also had a crush on her. He knew that if he did not act quickly, Max would steal her from him. He was about to ask her if she would come with him downstairs when Max screamed. He was shaking all over. His face was white as a ghost. Rebecca ran to him and immediately started comforting him in her soothing way. Kyle was extremely angry. Max was already making his move. "What did you see Max?" asked Rebecca. Max pointed at the corner of the room and croaked "I saw . . . a person . . but . . . it wasn't a person . . ." "How was it not a person?" questioned Benjamin. Max began to sweat and finally managed to whisper "It had no face". At this Benjamin smiled. "It's call 'vultus vacuus vultus', or 'the face without a face'. It's the first sign that they are coming." "Who's 'they'" asked Kyle. Benjamin whispered "imagine all peace being torn away. Imagine there is only fear. When they have you, warmth does not exist. Nothing is sacred and nothing is safe." Kyle was outraged. He knew that Max was faking. Benjamin was Max's wingman. They obviously planned this so Max could make his move on Rebecca. "This is stupid," said Kyle furiously, "I'm gonnna go next door and get Mr. Sparks to come over and stay with us. He's cool right?" By this time, Max had recovered and regained his grip on reality. "Yeah... That sounds fine..." Max groaned. "NO," cried Benjamin, "YOU CAN'T GO! THEY WILL GET YOU!" Max suddenly jumped from his chair and grabbed Kyle. He's right Kyle. They will get you. I saw them. They're real..." Kyle shook Max off and approached Benjamin, a crazed look in his eye. He stuck his face right in Benjamin's and screamed "THEY AREN'T REAL! STOP SAYING THEY ARE!!!" Benjamin said nothing. He just smiled. He knew the truth and that was all that mattered. Kyle tore his look away from the silent Benjamin and stormed downstairs.
Max wanted to keep 'Them' off his mind as much as possible. "I think we should all just calm down and try to forget any of this happened. I'm gonna go downstairs and get some snacks and we can have a normal night. Ok?" Rebecca agreed with him and he started to make his way to the kitchen. The kitchen was on the bottom floor of the house and the thought of going that far from his friends made Max want to run back upstairs and hide under his pillow. The house Max lived in was quite old and creaked often. It never seemed to bother Max before today. Every squeak and groan the house made caused Max's very bones to shake. The walk to the kitchen was an especially lonely one. It seemed like Max had been traveling for ages when he finally made it to the bottom floor. Every step he took required all of his energy and focus. He could feel his energy being sapped from his very soul, his will to continue overcome by fear. He was certain he was done for. Yes. This was the end for poor Max Cole. But no! It was not for there was the kitchen, a mere five feet in front of Max. He could not give in to the fear this close to his goal, and he did not. He made it but those five feet were the longest five feet Max had ever travelled. When he finally entered the kitchen he was so happy that he forgot about 'Them'. Only for a moment, though, because he looked around the room and noticed something strange in the corner. He looked closer. There it was again! Vultus vacuus vultus. Max's blood ran cold. They were real. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself, he could not escape the truth. They. . . were. . . real. He knew it was against his better judgment but he had to know what vultus vacuus vultus looked like in the light but as soon as the lights were on, it was gone. Max thought long and hard about his next move. It was a crucial one. He finally decided it was safe to enter the kitchen but he made sure to stay no longer than he needed to in order to complete his task. He quickly made his way to the drawer where he kept his special snacks that were for him and him alone. He grabbed four bags of chips (he knew Kyle would be back) and ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs as fast as he could. Once he climbed to the 2nd floor, he felt much safer. That is, until he looked behind him and saw vultus vacuus vultus at the bottom of the staircase watching him. This was all it took to get Max up the 2nd flight of stairs and back into his room. But he still could not rest The scene that lie in front of him was far beyond disturbing. Max's possessions were everywhere. Cards littered the floor, batteries were stuck in the TV, papers were covering most of the room, his computer was overturned on the floor and Benjamin sat in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth, back and forth. But there was something else was wrong. Very wrong. Rebecca was missing.
Max's throat went dry. He was unable to speak. It seemed to him like he would never speak again. In reality, it only lasted a few minutes however. After Max could speak again, he could find no words to express his terror. All that came out was a hoarse scream. Finally, he was able to form a sentence. He approached Benjamin and looked at him closely. "Benjamin," max managed to choke out, "where's Rebecca?" Benjamin said nothing, but kept rocking. "BENJAMIN! Where's Rebecca?" Benjamin didn't seem to notice Max. He went on rocking and began to mutter gibberish under his breath. Max couldn't believe what had happened to his friend. He didn't know what had happened to his friend. All he knew was that it was bad. Very bad. "Benjamin! Benjamin! Talk to me!! Where is Rebecca?! What happened here?!" Benjamin continued muttering, but his nonsense began to form words. Max couldn't really understand him, but he could make out one continuously repeated phrase "Here . . . gone. Here . . . gone. Here . . . gone." Benjamin said it through gritted teeth and a vicious smile. "BENJAMIN!!! WHERE IS REBECCA!!?" Max screamed at Benjamin. Benjamin stopped rocking and looked up at Max. "I don't know what happened" he breathed in a sinister tone. "She was here, but now she's gone. In the blink of an eye, she disappeared . . . I don't know what happened. Now GET OUT OF MY FACE!!" Benjamin stood up and screamed at Max. "Ben? what is wrong with you tonight? You've been acting so strange" said Max. Benjamin looked at Max with a truly hateful expression, but it soon broke and he began to weep. he slowly approached Max, head hung low. "I'm sorry. I . . . I don't know what's wrong. Please . . . please forgive me" Benjamin managed to choke out through tears. "It's ok. It's ok Ben. I forgive you." said Max. At this moment, they heard a sound. An unmistakable sound. The sound of the front door opening.
For a moment, Max's entire body shut down. All of his senses and all of his basic functions turned off. He could not walk. He could not speak. He could not think. He could barely even breathe. He began to gain his control over his body back again and thought about what he had to do next. 'They' were in the house. 'They' were coming to get him. "How do you defend against 'Them'?" thought Max. He could not find a reasonable weapon to protect himself so he hid and kept quiet. Absolutely quit. He heard the attic stairs begin to squeak. Fear over took his body and he began to tremble. He tried to force himself to stop but he could not. Soon the squeaking stopped and a voice called out, "Hello?" It was Rebecca. Max and Benjamin were safe. Rebecca was drenched in sweat and could barely stand. She was carrying the 180 lb. Kyle, his arm slung over her shoulders. Before she collapsed, Max grabbed Kyle and laid him down on the ground. That's when he noticed the blood. "What happened to Kyle?" asked Benjamin. "Rebecca didn't answer for she was panting too hard. After a couple minutes, she regained her breath at last and stated "Kyle tripped and hit his head. He is out cold." "How did he fall?" questioned Max. "Well let me tell you from the beginning. I started wondering if Kyle was gonna be alright by himself. I mean everyone gets scared. So, I snuck out of the house (I knew you wouldnt let me go) to find Kyle and go with him. When I made it outside, I saw the faint outline of what looked like a pile of clothes. I slowly walked up to it and realized it was a body. I rushed over only to find that it was Kyle's body that was in front of me, blood dripping from his head. I checked his vitals and he was just knocked out. He had obviously been scared somehow because his heart was still racing. I tried to get him to come to but failed. He woke up enough to help me carry him back but the journey took all my strength." "How did he fall?" asked Benjamin. "I'm guessing," Rebecca explained, "that he ran from Mr. Sparks? house and tripped and hit his head." "OK good." said Max in relief. "I think," suggested Max, "that we should try to keep our minds off of all that has gone on tonight. 'They' can't be real. We are just freaking ourselves out." Benjamin agreed. "Why don't you get a movie so we can calm down a little. "That sounds like a good idea." agreed Rebecca. "Ok I will." said Max. He went down to the living room to pick a movie. When he returned five or six minutes later, Rebecca was missing again. This time, Max didn't think much of it because his room was not any more trashed and Benjamin was just sitting in the chair. Max walked over to him and asked calmly, "Where did Rebecca go this time?" Benjamin said nothing but pointed a shaky finger to his immediate left, at the open window.
Max could not wrap his head around the facts. Rebecca was gone. 'They' had taken her. What was he going to do? 'They' would come back. 'They' knew how to get in. Max was done for. This was the end for him and his friends. He could not believe it would end like this. Why God, why? Why was this happening? "I . . . I can't believe 'They' took her. It's all over now. Benjamin don't you see? 'They' can get in now. 'They' know how. We are going to die." Benjamin blinked and something switched in his brain. He approached Max in a friendly way. "They aren't gonna get you Max. I won't let them. It's all gonna be ok." he said soothingly. "No it's not! 'They' are gonna kill me and then 'They' are gonna kill you! It's done Ben. We are through." Max moaned. 'Max . . . just breathe. It will all be over soon." Benjamin said, smiling. "Wha-what?" Max stammered. "The less you fear it, the less it will hurt," Benjamin purred "Just relax and let what happens . . . happen." Max was dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Benjamin knew they were going to die and he wanted it to happen! How could he do this? "Ben! What's gotten into you? You want to die?" "I don't want to die but no sense in fighting the inevitable. Now . . . relax."
Kyle slowly awoke, groggy and in pain. With much difficulty, he opened his eyes and saw a sinister sight. Benjamin sat directly in front of Kyle, staring at him. A Rubik's cube was in Benjamin's hands but he didn't seem to need to look at it. his gaze was fixed on Kyle. Kyle looked around, though every movement pained him greatly. "Wh-Where is everyone?" Kyle stammered. "You were out for quite a long time." Benjamin said with a smile on his face. "What are you talking about? Where are Max and Rebecca?" Kyle questioned. "Tell me what happened Kyle. How did you fall?" Benjamin continued to fiddle with the cube but never moving his eyes off of Kyle. "Where are my friends!" Kyle screamed. Benjamin stopped smiling. He dropped the cube and sat back in his chair. "You know Kyle," Benjamin began, "you really get to know a person in their last moments." "What do you mean?" Kyle asked. "Well, take Max for example," said Benjamin, "Always so sweet just like his mother but that temper. That temper obviously came from his father. But in the end, neither could save him, and Rebecca! Oh lovely Rebecca. So logical. So thoughtful. So smart and yet so foolish. She takes after her father as well but unfortunately, she did not inherit his strength." This had to be a prank. Max and Rebecca couldn't be dead! it wasn't possible. This was all just a big joke. "How could you do this to another human? How? This is cruel!!!" Kyle said, forcing back tears. "It's not funny anymore! Come out Max! Come out Rebecca! I figured it out! You guys have been planning this since you've known me. You said to each other, 'This new kid Kyle seems like a geek. Let's prank him. Benjamin, you act crazy and never hang out with us. Then when you finally do, we will pretend you are killing us.' Well I'm on to you now! The joke is on you!" Benjamin just smiled. "You don't understand, do you? They're gone. Long gone." Kyle refused to believe it. As he looked up at Benjamin, he watched Benjamin?s face twist into a hideous, frightening sight. None other than vultus vacuus vultus. Kyle screamed a blood curdling scream and grabbed a pen from the table next to him. he hurled himself at Benjamin, sinking the pen deep into Benjamin?s neck. Benjamin stumbled backwards, choking on his own blood. He fell back in his chair and his eyes rolled up in his head. As the life left Benjamin?s body, Kyle watched as Benjamin?s facial features came back to view and he realized what he had done. He looked to the side only to see the mangled, bloodied bodies of his former friends. He could not face the facts that he had killed them. All of them. He slowly sank to the floor and began uttering the last words he would ever speak again. "I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing."
The next day, Max's parents came home. They slowly crept into his room to surprise him and take him out to breakfast. When they saw his bed was empty, they began it worry. His father tries to call him while his mother searched the room. It wasn't long before she noticed the bodies. "MAX!" she screamed. She rushed over and was so wrapped up in her son's death that she didn't notice Benjamin and Rebecca for a while. "Oh my God! What happened? Max is dead! He-he's dead! How?" She began to sob. Screaming with pain. Calling out to whoever did this. Kyle slowly crept out from behind the chairs. "I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing." he chanted. "Kyle? What happened? How did all of this happen?" Max's mother wailed. "I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing." Kyle continued to mutter. 'Oh no...you didn't. How could you, Kyle? YOU KILLED THEM!" said Max's mom. Kyle just looked at her, horrified. He kept chanting "I did the right thing" until his throat was dry. Little did she know that at that very second, Kyle was watching her face twist into the horrifying, disturbing, corrupting image of vultus vacuus vulltus.
I did the right thing.
Poems pretty good, the way its structured works quite well. However, it strikes me as being rather generic. If you had some sort of rhyming pattern it would be great,altough granted rhyme can be quite difficult.