Awesome one liners

[yankeefan19]

What is an awesome one liner you've heard, said, or realized you could've said after the opportunity presented itself 5 minutes ago. (Witty remarks count to)

 

[bue519]

Well, I'd certainly say she had marvelous judgment, Albert, if not particularly good taste.- From A Boy and His Dog.

 

[Gooble]

Unfortunately only thought of about 20 seconds after I passed them, but I'll have it for the future:

(To a group of smokers): Is this like a mass suicide or something?

 

[Gestapo Hunter]

Ive come to destroy you-Space Marine dreadnought

 

[Davey Woo]

I used to be indecisive. But now I'm not so sure.

 

[grollo]

Tremble, mortals, and despair. DOOM has come to this world!
-Lord Archimonde, WCIII

It's not the words as much as his tone of voice. You gotta hear it.

 

[Ashbax]

I don't need luck, ive got...GUNS.

 

[megalomania]

I hate to say it but there was one of these threads running like two days ago, its probably not even properly dead yet.

 

[wordsmith]

Good, bad, right, wrong, whatever. I'm the dude with the gun.

 

[NotAPie]

"I'm not going to fight you, I'm going to kick your ass."
Duke Nukem, because every other one liner is not as good as this.
I mean he has balls of steel.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

Names are for friends, so I don't need one - Hitman 47

 

[Stevato]

I'm gonna go pump the chemical toilet, eveidently you're about to do the same - Stewie Griffin

 

[SmartIdiot]

Hmm. The other day when all my friends were ripping into me for being in crutches.

"Funny thing is, my foot will eventually heal but there's no cure for being so unimaginative that you have nothing better to do than make fun of me, is there?"

I can laugh at myself, I'm usually the first person to do so, it was a pretty funny accident. However I'd had to put up with the same stupid re-cycled comments for 3 hours. 3 fucking hours.

 

[lava_lamp]

if God had wanted you to live, he wouldn't have created me- the soldier

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

I would buy you a drink but I would be too jealous of the straw,
oh wait were not talking pick up lines?

 

[goatzilla8463]

This is my on original one:

"She gave you an A? Pfffff. She gave me head."

This was from me to a friend about one of my teachers.

 

[Sixties Spidey]

Is that a long health bar, or are you just happy to see me?

-Nathan Spencer
Bionic Commando

 

[Player 2]

A witty saying proves nothing.
Or (when someone's bitching about something) If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

 

[AMCization]

I maybe drunk sir/madam, but you are ugly, and in the morning, I shall be sober!-A greater man than me

 

[AdmiralWolverineLightningbolt]

"fuck off!"