Awesome one liners

[Altorin]

"And somewhere, in a far away magical land, the Large Hadron Collider is trying to kill us all"

 

[supaorange]

"I'm not going to fight you, I'm going to kick your ass."
Duke Nukem, because every other one liner is not as good as this.
I mean he has balls of steel.

and arms of iron

NO im not doing this again NO

also
"Groovy"
cookie for reference :}

I don't have time to bleed

 

[supaorange]

I would buy you a drink but I would be too jealous of the straw,
oh wait were not talking pick up lines?

want to go halves in a baby?

 

[Altorin]

I would buy you a drink but I would be too jealous of the straw,
oh wait were not talking pick up lines?

want to go halves in a baby?

that could be taken very very wrong.

 

[Disaster Button]

"I'll be back"

Anybody?

 

[ssgt splatter]

Ive come to destroy you-Space Marine dreadnought

[Off topic] What is your avatar picture?

[On topic] I'm at the top of the scoreboard and some kid at the bottom is trash-talking and I say, "I can't understand you from up here, speak up."

 

[fulano]

"It is my duty to please that booty"

EDIT: Forgot to say that the line is from Shaft.

 

[The Jono]

"Life's a journey. Shame about the destination,"

"Revenge is a dish best served with a little mayonnaise and those little cheesy things on sticks,"

"No, mother! Don't go in there! It's full of pelicans!"

Don't make me choose one!

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

Hypothetical Real Life One-Liner:

Jackass: What are you, gay?
Me: No, I'm bi.

Fictional One-Liner:

Questioner: Are you gay?
Person: No, I'm German. (cookie for the first person to figure out what it's from. Hint: it's an Internet series, and is not Red vs Blue)

Real Life:

Nancy Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison that drink!
Winston Churchill: Ma'am, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

or

Person: I would vote for Satan before I'd vote for you!
John Wilkes: Indeed. And if your friend declines to run, I trust I can count on your vote?