B&E with 1 item

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itsnotyouitsme

New member
Dec 27, 2008
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Your breaking and entering a house but can only take 1 item, your objective is to mess with them to insanity at much as possible. What is the item?
 

Esotera

New member
May 5, 2011
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A CD of ophcrack, allowing me to gain access to their Windows accounts. After that point much hilarity would ensue in the form of batch scripts and changed theme/user preferences.
 
Apr 28, 2008
14,634
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First, I shit in the middle of their living room.

Just leave a nice, perfect turd right there.

And then I take the TV remote.
 

Trivun

Stabat mater dolorosa
Dec 13, 2008
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I'd take the house key. That way I keep to the 'one item only' rule, yet now have the power to return at any time. That's when the mindfucking fun really begins... ;)
 

Tharwen

Ep. VI: Return of the turret
May 7, 2009
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Wait.. do you mean taking in or taking out?

There seems to be confusion.

I'll assume out, and take their dog.
 

Disaster Button

Elite Member
Feb 18, 2009
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Do you mean I can only take one item to break in with, or one item from their house?

If the first, I'd take a ladder and forget about breaking in. I'd just walk up and knock on each of their windows so they never know what is going on.

If the latter, I'd take their carpet.
 

Jamash

Top Todger
Jun 25, 2008
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I'd take their car keys, it will drive them insane in the morning, especially if they left them in a obvious place like a key bowl.

It would probably cause arguments too, with members of the family accusing each other of having moved them.

Of course, I wouldn't actually steal their car. Having a locked and unmovable car on their driveway will just add to the torment.
 

The Artificially Prolonged

Random Semi-Frequent Poster
Jul 15, 2008
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If the people I was robbing were not very tech savy, I'd probably take the SATA cable from inside their computer. I think having the computer tell them there is no hard drive even though the hard drive is still in the computer might drive someone to insanity.

Otherwise I think I would to a switch the house keys with a set that looks exactly like their house keys but obviously won't fit the locks.
 

shrekfan246

Not actually a Japanese pop star
May 26, 2011
6,374
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Obviously the only right way to do a B&E is with the cheese melted right on top of the egg, with the bacon crisped just right on top and pressed between toasted English muffins. . . oh, wait, that's not what we're talking about? I'm terribly sorry.
 

DEAD34345

New member
Aug 18, 2010
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A copy of the PSX game "Hogs of War".

I say this, because many, many years ago my copy of that game went missing. I searched through my entire house to no avail, and for the next few weeks I would randomly stop whatever I was doing just to search for it again. Eventually, I stopped doing that but approximately every year or so I would turn my entire house inside out yet again just looking for that game. I finally lost all hope of finding it when I moved, and even when the house had been completely emptied it just didn't turn up.

To whoever stole my Hogs of War disc, I would just like to say: FUCK YOU.
 

Hal10k

New member
May 23, 2011
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The house would technically count as one item. Just wanted to point that out.
 

NinjaDeathSlap

Leaf on the wind
Feb 20, 2011
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When I broke in, I would make a point to pick every locked door and drawer in the house, as well as crack their safe, just to prove that I could take anything that I wanted.

Then I would choose to take something completely worthless and random, like a single coaster.

Mulling that one over is going to drive them to distraction. (cue grin and evil laugh)