Ducks, a piano, jumper cables and beer. I'll spare you the gruesome details but lets just say I ended up with an eyepatch, a peg leg, an atrocious haircut, an incredibly annoying Brooklyn accent, and a kid sidekick who simply won't go away.
Slightly more serious answer: Cuteness + fangs + claws + a bad attitude. This is the combination that makes up my kitten, and it is simply unfair. My day consists of "Aww look at the cute kitty sleeping *reaches out to pet her* OH GOD MY HAND ARGGHHHH!!!" After I finally manage to pry the bloody slab of meat that used to be my hand out of her vicious clutches I stop to curse her cruel ways. And then promptly forget 5 minutes later to go "Aww look at the cute kitty having rolling around on the floor *reaches out to pet*". This has led me to hypothesize that before cats were "domesticated"(enslaved the human race) they hunted for prey by hiding in trees while leaving one of their baby kittens on the ground playing with it's tail in order to lure in other animals to come close and shoot adorable/silly videos of them to put on their youtube accounts. Then the cats swoop down out of the trees like fricking ninjas and butcher everyone.