Q: have you seen that movie about the pencil with two erasers?
A: don't bother it has no point
Q: what did the fish say when he hit his head against a concrete wall?
A: dam
I sprayed spot remover on my dog and now he's gone
absinthe makes the heart grow fonder
Q: did you hear what they found in Jeffrey Dahmer's freezer?
A: Ben and Jerry
there was this frog who wanted to get out of the construction business, but sadly all he could do was rivet, rivet, rivet
so these two old men are sitting outside watching the sun set at a nudist colony and one says to the other "i say, have you read marx?" and the other replied "yes.. i believe it's these wicker chairs"
Did you hear that Nasa has launched several holsteins into low orbit?
It was the herd shot round the world.
what do the letters in DNA stand for?
national dyslexics association
my pig learned karate now he's doing pork chops
and of course
okay so this group of parishioners decided to get together to paint their church dark green, but unfortunately the priest, being not very good with mathematics, underestimated the need for paint, so they thinned the paint down with some water to make it last more. Unfortunately, they didn't thin the paint enough, so they needed to repeat the process. The originally stunning emerald paint was now starting to look more like an odd light shade of sea green. As they were applying it, a sudden rainstorm burst out and washed all the paint off as a voice from the heavens boomed: "REPAINT, REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE"
