Bad Sex Ed classes

[FPLOON]

One example was a story she told us about a student that she'd once had. She claimed that the student got pregnant by giving her boyfriend a hand-job and that when her boyfriend ejaculated the sperm landed on her stomach and then the sperm crawled their way from her stomach into her vagina got all the way to her uterus, and got her pregnant.

Well, that's why you don't give aliens hand-jobs... You don't know where their "sperm" has been... But seriously, I feel sorry for whatever state this particular story takes place it...

This was in California by the way.

Spoiler: meep

http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/146/b/5/bahahahahaaa__rainbow_dash_laugh_by_misteralex-d515muw.gif

As a Cali resident, born and raised, I [now] can't stop laughing... And I thought the whole "don't wear a condom if want STDs and some babies" was funny since, at the time, my 6th grade teacher didn't even talk about how you can get pregnant without getting any STIs...

So I was wondering how the rest of the Escapist fared in terms of what they were taught in sex ed. Did you actually learn anything useful in your classes or was it just a bunch of fear-mongering in an attempt to keep all you horny kids from doing the horizontal slide? I wish to know. Any funny stories about your classes or curriculum?

Outside of the withheld [mis]information, that same 6th grade teacher, when talking about masturbation, was telling us how we should not be tasting "our sex juices" like "in the porns you kidswatch nowadays" because, without proper protection, you will get "a face-covering STD"... And then, later, thought this one kid, who was starting to get pimples, was actually having "a STD outbreak"...

Then again, I was at a middle school where almost every day had a "gang fight", a student fighting a teacher (or vise verse), and/or students and teachers having sex in the "vacant" classrooms after school... Luckily, it was only there for one year before I went to a different middle school, but still... Out of all of the sex-ed classes I've had, the one in 6th grade was both the most withheld/misinformed in general as well as the most memorable because of said withheld/misinformation...

 

[Muspelheim]

Also, reading the comments here made me realise that I've never actually seen a condom in real life. That's rather worrying actually. Do those things come with instruction manuals?

Depends on where you live I suppose, though I would think so. Just buy one and try it out.
They can be rather tricky to put on at first..They can actually hurt going over the widest point of the head.

I'm Swedish. We were taught actual facts. Not all of them, but at least true ones.

<Snippety-snip, weird cartoons about Johan, Erik & Achmed learning that their todgers are fine as they are>

My district was pretty much the same. I remember those cartoons... The memories, the memories...

this seems to be a trend in Sweden unless the 3 of us coincidently went to the same school since i remember the same pattern .
a couple of meetings to talk about it or watch a cartoon and then finishing with a visit to the local health association for some advice, Q/A and free condoms.

Make that four. I had trouble remembering the event at first since it was basically nothing new and only charts and talks. And yes, that video and follow-up visit to get free condoms.

I suppose it was the folk education standard package, then. That, or we've got a kickass reunion going!

I think you could get as many free condoms you liked from there, too, up to a certain age. That was the real rite of passage, trying to act normal while asking for them at the cashier in the supermarket. While an old lady slyly glances over as if thinking "Oh, my, the standards have gone right down since my days..."

 

[Shiftygiant]

I remember being taught safe sex and STD's, which was more a scare 'em straight with photographs of malformed dicks and rotting vagina's than anything else, which if anything scared half of us from having sex in case our dicks fell off. We weren't really taught how sex works- we were expected to know that already. Base level all we knew was penis in vagina=sex, and pretty much that, something we were taught in year 5. The only way anyone really knew a thing about the different forms of sex was by watching porn or getting first hand experience. I remember most the Sex Ed lessons (We only ever got 4 through Year 8, 9 and 10) were awkward, the speaker being too clinical or being a scare mongering sexist (I remember once the boys were told that only women could be raped and when someone brought up that men could be as well, he was dismissed and a brief passing was made to homosexual rape). I also can't recall being taught homosexual sex. If we were, it was overshadowed by other things. They also made sex ed 'fun' by encouraging (Read: peer pressured) students to take part in the condom demonstrations, stuff like putting the condom onto a dildo.

So yeah, yay UK?

 

[T8B95]

I literally don't remember my highschool sex-ed classes, except for them being so vague and disingenuous that my mother (a health worker and former nurse) gave me a full re-education on the subject. I remember that I she taught me about effective contraception and STD's, as well as the infinitely invaluable and infinitely overlooked social impacts of sexuality.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Also, reading the comments here made me realise that I've never actually seen a condom in real life. That's rather worrying actually. Do those things come with instruction manuals?

Condoms are kind of like spoons - no instructions necessary, and simple beyond belief.

Believe me, when you crack open your first one, it'll be obvious how it goes on.

 

[asinann]

My first experience with sex ed was when I was in 8th grade.
The 5th through 8th grade classes were called to the cafateria for a presentation. There some ugly, middle-aged men and women told us about how terrible sex before marriage was. STD this, STD that, pregnancy this, pregnancy that, yadda yadda.
I don't remember much because I wasn't paying any attention but there is one thing that sticks in my mind.

The presenters had two boxes of chocolates. One was wrapped in plastic so it seemed like it was new and just bought and the other one was unwrapped and a bit beat up ad some of the chocolates in it were missing, half eaten, and individually unwrapped.
They went on to ask us all which one we'd want. The new and unwrapped one or the one that was all dinged up and "used" (exact word).

One girl from the 7th grade class started to cry a little.
I laughed at the time cuz I was a massive dick but now I can imagine how having someone indirectly call her "used" and "unwanted" probably made her feel.

My second experience was in my second high school. We got shown a lot of pictures of STD riddled genitalia and all of the absolute extreme symptoms of having an STD and a lecture on how ineffective all forms of contraceptive really were and that was about it.
Nobody that was in those lectures actually believed what was being said and they all continued to fuck as they were fucking before.

God, I love the American educational system!

Thank your local religious zealots and their push for "abstinence only" sex ed and their ability from 2001-2009 to be the only ones getting government funding for sex ed. That along with parents being able to exclude their children from sex ed makes up a huge part of the teen pregnancy and STD problem in the US.

 

[silver wolf009]

See, I disagree with that lady in the video. Barring a run in with a an Aids monkey, two monogamous, STI free people would be hard pressed to contract an STI.

Monogamy is effective at stopping infection; a close circuit is a good system.

She doesn't say monogamy. The bad sex ed example is "The true love of marriage will protect us from STI's".

So the only way to disagree with her is if you think marriage will protect you from an STI.

Anyway our sex ed was quite normal and I guess informative. Though this one time we did see a baby's head being squeezed out of a vagina. Thats.. A lot of people say childbirth is beautiful.. It's.. It's not beautiful..

I associated true love with monogamy. I didn't think that's a very big leap...

You also apparently associated it with virginity and a lack of drugs.

Which is a big leap.

Never said anything about virginity, or drugs. I said they had to be infection free, not sexually inactive, and comically alluded to a situation that involved poor judgement on behalf of a drug user and his monkey.

Further, wouldn't an infect transmitted by needle not be classified as an STI?

Nope a STI is a class of infections that can be transmitted via the exchange of fluids common during sex. It dose not have to be caught via nookie to be an STI, and if you catch a cold from your sex partner it's not an STI.

Most STI's are blood infections, not in seaman or vaginal fluids. You just have a very good chance of exchanging a small amount of blood during sex.

Ah. Thank you for your help. Now I know.

 

[Fox12]

This was in California by the way. You'd think that in a liberal state like that we would have gotten something better than the abstinence bullshit they teach in the bible belt.&#65279;

I was raised in the deep rural south, and we didn't even hear the words "abstinence" in class, at least not in a serious context. Our teachers basically told us that the only way to truly avoid disease was to not have sex, but since they knew we were all having sex already, we should be safe. Then they taught us about our, uh, mechanics, and gave us awkward homework with our parents. Pretty cut and dry, actually, and pretty thorough. Honestly, I think that bible belt stuff mostly applies to old people. Most people my age don't care.

I have heard some pretty good stories, though, outside of school. There's the famous civil war bullet story, where a bullet supposedly pierced some poor soldiers genitals, then ricocheted into a nearby house and impregnated a young woman. There's the lovely story of a sister who used her brothers soap in the shower, and then supposedly got pregnant because his sperm was on it (hey, I didn't say all southern stereotypes were false). Then there's the classic story of the woman who got pregnant (wait for it) by sitting on a gas station toilet seat. Classic, really.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Mine was pretty lacking from what I remember. It was pretty much, "hello, penis goes in vagina, sperm, babies happen. Lots of periods happen. Also STDs."

They got us to put condoms on our friends fingers cos that makes so much fucking sense. They never talked to us about consent, feelings, relationships, same sex relationships or transgenders. We had lessons after lessons of periods and the biological side of carrying a baby. That's fine and all, but I believe the emotional side needs to talked about in detail.

We had someone come in once and talk to us about STDs with pictures and stuff. They gave us chlamydia tests to take, hah. Throughout all my sex ed classes they just seemed to care about protection and not the people who were having the sex ;-;

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

In England, or at least London, I had pretty decent Sex-ed classes.

They were part of a greater subject called PSHC-RE, which covered many things from citizenship, religion, general health and sex ed. Usually, the teachers assigned to teach these classes were calm and measured, and followed the guidelines instead of stating their opinions as fact.

Surprisingly enough, everyone in the class was being respectful and mature about it, so yeah, I had pretty decent lessons.

Not that I remember most of them though. Life as a hermit confines me to my one true love: cave mushrooms!

 

[Sleepy Sol]

Never got a decent sex-ed class.

Mississippi for ya. All about abstinence and whatnot without actually, well...educating about anything.

I probably did more self sex-ed in a day or two than any of those... weeks-long classes did.

 

[Aurion]

Pretty basic, and it was folded into a larger Health class (diet, exercise, etc). This is what the parts are, this is how they fit together, here's a horribly uncomfortable awkward video about childbirth, condoms and birth control are good, STDs are bad, and since the school says I have to say this yay abstinence.

A bit short on useful information, but at least it wasn't some flagrantly insane sex-is-evil frenzy. It helped that the teacher was pretty chill.

 

[joshuaayt]

From what I remember from sex ed the teacher was fine. She didn't lie about it, she didn't pretend it was some horrible thing to be avoided. She used humour which made everything less awkward.
She taught anatomy, safe sex and STDS, legal (like age, consent and child support), general safety stuff (like don't leave drinks unattended in bars though I'm not sure that was actually in the curriculum) and a little bit of relationship advice. She didn't really fear monger though she did tell us about some awful thing that happened to her/ her friends and mistakes she had made.

I don't know that I learnt much as I'd already been taught most of these thing but the school teaching was fine.

We did have to watch a shitty video with a pervy rubber duck thing that was blowing bubbles off adults to revel their genitals and symbolised sex with cats rubbing against each other and exploding. It was running joke in the class to pretend like we thought pulling out was an effective method of birth control to annoy the teacher.

Hey, we had that same video!
Sex Ed in Australia- or NSW, at least- seems pretty solid for the most part, if a little bit delayed. I still think it should be taught at the very beginning of high school, if not before that. I didn't learn anything through it, because I already knew it.
At least they didn't tell us anything that wasn't true.