Becoming Asexual

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SmartIdiot

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Feb 10, 2009
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Hmm. Think I'm past that point. I'd have a girlfriend who I can trust to at least not cheat on me but aside from that... well, you're on your own. Pun intended. Ha.
 

AWAR

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Mikelland said:
AWAR said:
Nah, 99% of asexuals are virgin high-school nerds that suck at having a relationship.They'll all end up with a bitchy wife someday.Now, being apathetic is a different thing but it depends on your personality not you biological needs :p
Well i'm in university doing a degree in contemporary dance but apart from that, "high school virgin nerd" pretty much sums me up. And theres no method to not caring about never knowing love? Other than being born that way? Man life is pretty cruel.

From what it seems like, women respect confidence beyond everything else. Dosnt matter if you have an I.Q of 138, are a professional dancer, a writer, and will care more about them than anyone else ever will, if you dont have the confidence to generate the immediate attraction than its all over. Its fucked up is what it is. I swear i'm going to burn the whole fucking thing down and start again. The world is a cruel place, but it dosnt need to be. People make it that way.
It seems to me that you have had some bad experiences in the past but there's no reason to start labeling people and society itself.And here goes the classic -NOO, ITS EVERYONE'S ELSE FAULT THAT IM like THAT --...Tell you what, nothing good comes without trying; so stop sitting in a corner crying and start enjoying life!There will be a time that even if you wanted you would never be able to experience this again.On top of that, what do the guys that get laid everyday have that you dont have?
 

Terminal Blue

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Feb 18, 2010
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I'm not denying there are people out there who are actually asexual. There are people who have their sexual organs surgically removed and shave their heads so they have no discernable gender. That's pretty asexual.

Not pointing fingers though, but most 'asexuality' I encounter in everyday life though is really just a bad case of misogyny, that is to say men (almost always men) who don't understand the opposite sex as anything other than unobtainable sex objects or status symbols, rather than diverse or interesting individuals in their own right.

Confidence is not essential in the dating game, understanding is. There are plenty of women who find shyness and lack of confidence if not attractive then at least tollerable, what very few women past high school age will ever tollerate is a lack of (percieved) interest in them as individuals. This goes for casual sex as well as relationships.

In short, rather than wishing you could have some chemical solution, just be happy and comfortable with yourself as a single person. Then rather than blaming women for not spreading their legs in awe, get to know and love them as individuals regardless of whether they'll let you pretend to own them for a bit. If that fails, meet more. It takes practice, but it will work.
 

yoyo13rom

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Oct 19, 2009
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Adzma said:
yoyo13rom said:
This thread is depressing :(
Just because you didn't experience any positive relationships, that doesn't mean that you should just give up. I mean come on, a gamer's motto should be:"never admit defeat!"
You have to earn your love soldier.
+ Not even sociopaths and emos don't consider turning asexual!
I would argue that the difference there is that when playing games I know that I will eventually overcome that one insane obstacle that stands in my way through continued perseverance. On the other hand relationships are something that will never end in one's favour through continued perseverance. Giving up would be much easier if asexuality could be induced.
I would say that the easiest option is to go to a courtesan which'll satisfy your most every wish. If you want a really high class courtesan, I recommend a geisha. If my memory serves me right, they're main purpose isn't to satisfy you sexually, but to make you feel loved, and show you attention; they provide you with a nice company.

Ok, ok, maybe you're like me and feel that affection needs to be earned.
Don't be sad, you're certainly not the only one having girl problems :p.
Hey, I'm a 19 year old virgin and I still haven't gave up on love.
Jimmy Carr was 25 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lLshTBfZ2A)when he lost his virginity and now he's one of the biggest chick magnets ever. Ok, maybe it's not the best example ever...

+ It's all natural to be sexually attracted to someone(it'd be shame not to); hey one of my best friends has this theory: "if you don't feel that the person beside you is the very least attractive, then your subconscience will never want to share not even a "hello" with that person"

Maybe I've got it all wrong, but still, I hope I was to some extent a good advice giver.
 

high_castle

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CommyGingerbreadMan said:
Okay sorry but I have to get this off my chest. People who say their asexual aren't and are just making excuses for not being able to find anyone, because we cannot EVER have something our fault, it always has to be a force no one can contend with.

I've met real asexual people, why are they liek that? Their parents literally NEVER hugged them or showed them ANY affection. It became the norm. They are also ALL disgusted by even friendly hugs and cannot handle seeing anyone kissing. They become physically ill.

People who I met that claim to be asexual usually HAD a girlfriend at one point and a bad breakup, go figure.

Call yourself asexual or w/e. Bash me all you want, I ain't buyin into it.

ALSO: Don't just give up man, there's someone out there for everyone. No human may have the exact same interests, but people can come damn near close. Hell I'm willing to bet there are girls out there attracted to asexuality. Just get back on the saddle. So what if you don't find the one until your 40? It will be all the worth it when you do. You can't give up the chase after one bad thing happened.
I'm a woman and I can safely say that my parents hugged me and showed affection, I was never abused, and I'm still asexual. It's genetic, most likely. And yes, it has become somewhat popular for longer guys to call themselves asexual. I personally find it annoying, since it's insulting to those of us who were born this way and spent years trying to figure out what's wrong us. But don't let those who claim it to be cool fool you into thinking the condition isn't real. It is. It affects less than 1% of the population, but there it is.

Personally, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's more than just feeling lack of physical attraction, I have absolutely no conception of people's motivations when it comes to sex. I don't understand how it can play such a large role in some people's lives, even ruining lives in certain cases. It's all a big mystery to me.
 

CommyGingerbreadMan

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high_castle said:
CommyGingerbreadMan said:
Okay sorry but I have to get this off my chest. People who say their asexual aren't and are just making excuses for not being able to find anyone, because we cannot EVER have something our fault, it always has to be a force no one can contend with.

I've met real asexual people, why are they liek that? Their parents literally NEVER hugged them or showed them ANY affection. It became the norm. They are also ALL disgusted by even friendly hugs and cannot handle seeing anyone kissing. They become physically ill.

People who I met that claim to be asexual usually HAD a girlfriend at one point and a bad breakup, go figure.

Call yourself asexual or w/e. Bash me all you want, I ain't buyin into it.

ALSO: Don't just give up man, there's someone out there for everyone. No human may have the exact same interests, but people can come damn near close. Hell I'm willing to bet there are girls out there attracted to asexuality. Just get back on the saddle. So what if you don't find the one until your 40? It will be all the worth it when you do. You can't give up the chase after one bad thing happened.
I'm a woman and I can safely say that my parents hugged me and showed affection, I was never abused, and I'm still asexual. It's genetic, most likely. And yes, it has become somewhat popular for longer guys to call themselves asexual. I personally find it annoying, since it's insulting to those of us who were born this way and spent years trying to figure out what's wrong us. But don't let those who claim it to be cool fool you into thinking the condition isn't real. It is. It affects less than 1% of the population, but there it is.

Personally, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's more than just feeling lack of physical attraction, I have absolutely no conception of people's motivations when it comes to sex. I don't understand how it can play such a large role in some people's lives, even ruining lives in certain cases. It's all a big mystery to me.
Well most of yo n't call asexual. I do know people are, like i said, just those who say usually aren't. It just as always tend to be those that are most open about it. Like those guys that go around telling others their gay because they love the attention it gives them. Anyways I do not see either why people run their lives in such a way that sex and attraction is absolutely necessary. Maybe I'm just ol' fashioned, but I believe you should have sex with the one you love and are sure your gonna marry. Im not saying just one person. Im just saying stop spitting in the face of something so intimate by making it a Saturday night event.
 

Amberella

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Jan 23, 2010
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Azure-Supernova said:
No I do not and I have no desire to be =P Do you just have bad luck with the opposite sex or are you referring to celebrity attractions? Either way, I find that I'm attracted most to my girlfriend and I can indeed have her... also I've never felt the need to reproduce on my own. That would be creepy. My wife can do that later.
Indeed my love, later I shall have your children. ;)