Becoming that which I despise.

[Tarcolt]

I have been playing games forever, mostly single-player games though, as every time I played a Multi-player I either didn't like it or its community.

That is until I began playing League of Legends, I enjoy it as a game and as a social experience which is rare for me.

I had a similar start to most people in that I sucked until I slowly learned the way it was played. During this time I got your typical impatient or uncaring douchbags who could not care less how new I was , only that I sucked and that if we lost it was my fault.

I hate these guys, if someone is new they are new, if they are bad they are bad, big deal. As I got better I stuck to my guns of treating people kindly regardless of how bad they are playing.

But recently I have seemed to have lost patience with these mistakes, I want to let them go, but its really hard, I can resist typing up complaints(I don't want to be that guy) but in reality I'm very bitter, and I Do Not Like It, I feel like I am tuning into the asshole that I didn't like.

My questions are: Is this change in behavior normal or am I just a slow to start asshole? and can I stop this before I don't like what I have become?

PS. for those who know LoL I don't play ranked I have had only one game ever.
PPS. also not a thread for lol bashing

 

[CloudAtlas]

My questions are: Is this change in behavior normal or am I just a slow to start asshole? and can I stop this before I don't like what I have become?

PS. for those who know LoL I don't play ranked I have had only one game ever.
PPS. also not a thread for lol bashing

It happens to many who start playing MOBAs. That's just what this genre does to many. How many hours I've wasted arguing with friends about whose fault was it that this or that went wrong, blaming each other for stuff that doesn't matter at all... i was shameful.

Doesn't mean it's not worth the effort trying improve your attitude though. The only thing that raging about other players achieves is making everyone unhappy, most of all yourself. Just keep that in mind.

However, if you feel like you cannot do that, and do not like what you feel you are becoming, then quitting may be the only solution.

 

[AmberSword]

This genre just messes with human nature in that way, games like these are inherently competitive, and people always want to win in some way. Everyone wants to win the game of course, but when it's starting to look like we won't, then we'll try to win in other ways. The vets will blame the newbies' mistakes, and the newbies will blame the vet's arrogance and "try-hard" nature, just to feel like they've one-upped someone in some way.

It's completely normal, but that doesn't mean its correct, and that we shouldn't try to hold back our rage.

I've played Dota since 2006, quite frankly I still suck, but (especially when in a bad mood) I have been through all those stages that you're mentioning, and found the best thing to do when you feel the hulk taking over is just to mute every form of chat and focus on the game itself.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Live with cannibals for long enough and you are sure to have some Bob stew without remorse, this is just your social circle passing on their norm and you inevitably going along with it. If you don't want to pick up their behaviour then I suggest spending most of your time interacting with other circles.

Also these games are built on a system where a single player can destroy an hours worth of team effort simply by playing slightly worse, one can only take so much of that bullshit before tables get flipped.

 

[CloudAtlas]

This genre just messes with human nature in that way, games like these are inherently competitive, and people always want to win in some way. Everyone wants to win the game of course, but when it's starting to look like we won't, then we'll try to win in other ways. The vets will blame the newbies' mistakes, and the newbies will blame the vet's arrogance and "try-hard" nature, just to feel like they've one-upped someone in some way.

It's completely normal, but that doesn't mean its correct, and that we shouldn't try to hold back our rage.

I've played Dota since 2006, quite frankly I still suck, but (especially when in a bad mood) I have been through all those stages that you're mentioning, and found the best thing to do when you feel the hulk taking over is just to mute every form of chat and focus on the game itself.

The problems with this genre are that you can observe what others do relatively easily, and thus see if they're doing something wrong, everyone being assigned to an individual lane makes blaming anyone for loosing their lane easy, you've got enough time to insult other people via chat and complain about everything you (think you) see them doing wrong, and you get nothing from doing good personally, all that matters is your team winning and loosing. It's just a recipe for disaster.

 

[Kotaro]

And this is why I avoid MOBAs like the plague.
I have heard this story before, and I do not wish to become That Guy.

 

[Ferisar]

I quit league regularly because of how I start acting while playing it. It sickens me and leads to a lot of pointless stress. I came back just now again, and I'm actually doing a lot better on that front. It's really easy for me not to get worked up over yolo queue though. I mostly get loud with friends (not rage, just "active", I suppose). Either way, it happens mang.

 

[Vegosiux]

MOBA games just do that to people. It's inherent in their design, after all, I mean...the way they're set up, pretty much half of the player base will at any given moment feel as if they just wasted an hour of their lives on nothing but getting themselves frustrated. That makes people irritable and vicious.

 

[Eliam_Dar]

Let me put it this way, as you improve, you start to feel how those who are learning impact in the overall effort of your team. I try to be patient when people say that it is the first time that they are using a character or I see that they have few matches in their profile, but I do not condemn those that play badly when they have a good record or experience in the game.

Having said that, anyone can have a bad day (it happens to me), and I know that I have to take the critics since it is the same standard I apply. However I am not mean when criticizing, but people can get really annoyed and attack you personally.

And it is even worse if you play in the southamerica-south server. Oh man they are really aggressive (both in gameplay and when talking) over here.

I used to play LOL everyday, but lately I have found myself playing once or twice a week at most, due to this.

 

[happyninja42]

I have been playing games forever, mostly single-player games though, as every time I played a Multi-player I either didn't like it or its community.

That is until I began playing League of Legends, I enjoy it as a game and as a social experience which is rare for me.

I had a similar start to most people in that I sucked until I slowly learned the way it was played. During this time I got your typical impatient or uncaring douchbags who could not care less how new I was , only that I sucked and that if we lost it was my fault.

I hate these guys, if someone is new they are new, if they are bad they are bad, big deal. As I got better I stuck to my guns of treating people kindly regardless of how bad they are playing.

But recently I have seemed to have lost patience with these mistakes, I want to let them go, but its really hard, I can resist typing up complaints(I don't want to be that guy) but in reality I'm very bitter, and I Do Not Like It, I feel like I am tuning into the asshole that I didn't like.

My questions are: Is this change in behavior normal or am I just a slow to start asshole? and can I stop this before I don't like what I have become?

PS. for those who know LoL I don't play ranked I have had only one game ever.
PPS. also not a thread for lol bashing

I would say that it's normal, if by "normal" you mean "happens to a large percentage of the playerbase over time." I personally don't play ranked, specifically because of the toxic venom content I've experienced there. I know you say that you don't play ranked either, just commenting. In fact, I avoid Summoner's Rift entirely. Whether it's ranked, or just random unranked matches, the number of assholes that spend more time bitching about other players, instead of actually playing, is so high that I just don't have fun with it.

I stick to ARAM, and the occasional Dominion match. I like ARAM specifically because the map design forces you guys to work together, instead of in your special little lane, with other people bitching at you from across the map.

Are there assholes in ARAM? Sure, it's LoL, no matter where you poke, you'll find an asshole. But it's significantly less of an issue in ARAM from my experience. I also only play a match or two a day, if that.

As far as advice to not being an asshole:

Stop playing for a bit. No really, take a few days off, maybe a week. Go play something else. Don't play anything at all. Get some distance from the game for a bit. It helped me greatly.

 

[Tarcolt]

I have been playing games forever, mostly single-player games though, as every time I played a Multi-player I either didn't like it or its community.

That is until I began playing League of Legends, I enjoy it as a game and as a social experience which is rare for me.

I had a similar start to most people in that I sucked until I slowly learned the way it was played. During this time I got your typical impatient or uncaring douchbags who could not care less how new I was , only that I sucked and that if we lost it was my fault.

I hate these guys, if someone is new they are new, if they are bad they are bad, big deal. As I got better I stuck to my guns of treating people kindly regardless of how bad they are playing.

But recently I have seemed to have lost patience with these mistakes, I want to let them go, but its really hard, I can resist typing up complaints(I don't want to be that guy) but in reality I'm very bitter, and I Do Not Like It, I feel like I am tuning into the asshole that I didn't like.

My questions are: Is this change in behavior normal or am I just a slow to start asshole? and can I stop this before I don't like what I have become?

PS. for those who know LoL I don't play ranked I have had only one game ever.
PPS. also not a thread for lol bashing

I would say that it's normal, if by "normal" you mean "happens to a large percentage of the playerbase over time." I personally don't play ranked, specifically because of the toxic venom content I've experienced there. I know you say that you don't play ranked either, just commenting. In fact, I avoid Summoner's Rift entirely. Whether it's ranked, or just random unranked matches, the number of assholes that spend more time bitching about other players, instead of actually playing, is so high that I just don't have fun with it.

I stick to ARAM, and the occasional Dominion match. I like ARAM specifically because the map design forces you guys to work together, instead of in your special little lane, with other people bitching at you from across the map.

Are there assholes in ARAM? Sure, it's LoL, no matter where you poke, you'll find an asshole. But it's significantly less of an issue in ARAM from my experience. I also only play a match or two a day, if that.

As far as advice to not being an asshole:

Stop playing for a bit. No really, take a few days off, maybe a week. Go play something else. Don't play anything at all. Get some distance from the game for a bit. It helped me greatly.

There are assholes in ARAM, just less and they arent as bad(exept for the team-pick nazis telling you to re-roll every 5 seconds)

As far as ranked is concerned, we had one asshat, who blamed everyone for his mistakes, otherwise not to bad.

I have never played dominion Rito forgot about OCE, we may get it one day, till then we can dream...

I do like yours and sever other peoples ideas to take a break, I think if I get to bad (my roommates WILL tell me... violently) I'll give it a rest, but I want to see how patient I can be.

 

[AmberSword]

The problems with this genre are that you can observe what others do relatively easily, and thus see if they're doing something wrong, everyone being assigned to an individual lane makes blaming anyone for loosing their lane easy, you've got enough time to insult other people via chat and complain about everything you (think you) see them doing wrong, and you get nothing from doing good personally, all that matters is your team winning and loosing. It's just a recipe for disaster.

Very true, very true indeed. The game gives you the tools you need for effective teamwork, yet people choose instead to use them for scrutinizing their team's mistakes. At this point there really is nothing moba creators can do about it, you can't fix the human race, toxicity is inevitable, try too hard to fix the issue, and you will end up stifling communication for those who actually make use of it.

This is why you should always make sure you have at least a friend or two with you before you even think about queueing for matchmaking, and even then your friends themselves might turn on you given the worse circumstances, never had this happen to me, but there are enough people online talking about it to prove that it happens. Now I only play with bots in Dota, or when a close friend invites me to a game then I'll join. Too bad though, the botguy ChrisC left to do something else, and so the bots haven't been improved for a year already at least, and lemme tell you they are so bad, but beggars can't be choosers.

I was recently invited to beta-test S2's Strife (you know, the creators of HoTN), this game was touted by the devs as the answer to moba toxicity, so far from what I've seen, no.. far from it. Just wait till the beta is over and the floodgates open. They did implement some very interesting features to counter this problem, but once again, you cannot fight this battle without paying the price. Try too hard, and eventually your game will even cease to become a moba.

In strife, you pre-select your hero and your pet before entering a queue, so as to ensure your team has a balance of roles, problem is, this completely throws picking strategy, especially interesting and unorthodox ones, out of the window. Next is the fact that you can't talk to the enemy team, this I appreciate, but what if someone needs to answer the phone and you want to tell your enemy why you paused?

It's an issue that really is nigh impossible to solve, so I don't blame developers for eventually letting it go and just focusing their efforts on the competitive scene. Heroes of the Storm is another moba I've yet to try that also has similar claims of ridding toxicity, but really, the only way for your moba to draw attention away from the 2 giants right now is to claim this, so its really starting to lose impact.

 

[Johnny Impact]

When someone screws up something we care about -- which in the context of this conversation means when we falsely perceive our own performance as perfect and feel that somebody else's less than perfect execution has somehow taken something away from us -- we get upset.

This phenomenon is not unique to MOBAs or even games in general. I've seen people yell at other players, then rage-quit a Left 4 Dead versus match because their team was a mere 100 points behind at the end of the first segment. The jock douchebag in gym class who takes five lay-ups and only makes one, then tells you the team lost because *you* suck at basketball, is doing the same thing.

For some, it's not enough to be good at the game, or to play as well as they can. They feel they are entitled to always play with people who are at least as good as they are. It's easy for complainers to forget there are players of such surpassing skill they would look at the complainers as fumbling noobs.

I don't see the point of getting upset. Losing doesn't bother me. I just want a good fight. Some people can't be happy unless they "win." As if a fake number on a fake scoreboard in a fake game made purely for entertainment constitutes real, measurable gain. Pfeh.

 

[happyninja42]

There are assholes in ARAM, just less and they arent as bad(exept for the team-pick nazis telling you to re-roll every 5 seconds)

Yes I know, I said as much in my post that you quoted xD

I do like yours and sever other peoples ideas to take a break, I think if I get to bad (my roommates WILL tell me... violently) I'll give it a rest, but I want to see how patient I can be.

If you're going to keep playing instead of taking a break, then I would suggest doing what I do when I used to work customer service over the phone.

1. Don't let the toxicity of the last match bleed over into the new match. Take a few moments, or minutes to chill out, get a drink, crack a joke with your roommates, watch a goofy video on youtube. Whatever, do something to help you just dump the negative baggage from the last match. It doesn't help you play better, and only serves to increase your stress, and the stress of your teammates.

2. Crack jokes in the team chat. Be funny, engage in light banter with the people you are paired up with. It doesn't always work, but in my experience, when I've taken the time early on to establish some playful banter with my teammates, we tend to have less drama.

3. Acknowledge your mistakes. We all make them in game. We all do stuff that is stupid, ill advised, or just plain dumb. We make a calculation on a strategy, and it fails utterly in application. Own up to it, but own up to it in a playful way (going back to point 2). If you screw something up, take a few seconds to type "Doh! xD That didn't work!" or something similar. Often your teammates will laugh with you, and start communication about possible strategies, or offer to help you in lane. When I've owned up to my fuck up's in game, I've had far less issue with teammates taking the time to tell me I fucked up. It's sort of redundant. Of course this doesn't always work, but it helps.

4. Acknowledge your teammates accomplishments. This works really well in my experience. If you praise your teammate for pulling off a good move, they'll be more inclined to keep playing well, and less inclined to be toxic.

5. Go watch Sky Williams videos on youtube. He's a fairly amusing LoL player and youtube poster, and he has a lot of short videos about how to avoid toxicity in LoL. Some of them are also him bitching about stupid people in LoL xD But he tries to keep it light and humorous.

5. Just straight up communicate with your team. Plan strategies, offer to help them, or ask for help 'cause you think you'll need it.

 

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

League got to me as well which is why I play it so little now.

Personally, I started approaching things logically, and that's what made me quit the game. Most games are decided ont he basis of: Who's gonna d/c, afk, troll or behave horribly. You'll get roughly 50% of games like that. And on weekends it'll be like 70-80%.

OT:
No you are not inherently and asshole, you're just being exposed to them in vast quantities and they're trying to rub off on you.

To ensure you don't become what you hate in the game, do this:

1. be fu- mmmmmmm ninja'd. Well I'll just make a shorter version of my persoanl rules then.

- Make jokes. The dumber the better. The more you communicate in chat in a humorous manner, the better. It lightens the mood for everyone playing.
- Praise. You'd be surprised how little people get praised. And don't always just say "gj", be creative, tell them, they're awesome, but also be genuine about it.
- If someone is doing bad, offer to have them follow you. Or give them tips. Again be nice about these, no one is going to take a stranger's criticism if the're an ass.
- Don't play on weekends. Look I know it's mean, but you'll have a vastly more enjoyable experience.
- The mute button. I know, I hate muting people too, but just do it. Some people don't respond to logic.
- Acknowledge your mistake. If you say it was an honest mistake, most people will calm down.

Communication. Doesn't matter what it's about as long as it's not toxic. If you're being talkative, polite, and non-confrontational, it cheers people up.

Anyways, I hope these thing I have learned can help you.

 

[AnthrSolidSnake]

I can't relate. I hate MOBA's simply for that reason alone (that and I find them overly boring and not very engaging)

I would say I could try and understand with my passion for online first person/third person shooters, but however, even if most of my team does bad, that just drives me to do better to make up for it. Even if we lose, I know that I DID MY FAIR SHARE AND BEYOND, and that's all that should matter. That's all that does matter, to me anyway. Sure, having a better team would help me to do even better, but if I come out on top of my team even if we lose, it shows that it was just a lousy team, rather than just me being a lousy player myself. No harm done. Pick another server/team, and try again (or give the current team another chance. Everyone has bad days.)

The key is to help your teammates do better, rather than yell at them to do better. Scolding them for doing bad isn't going to solve anything, it just makes you look like the ass you are. Help them. Give them a few tips or suggestions without sounding smug or belittling about it.

If it's a brand new player though, and your getting mad at them, fuck off. We were all new, we were all clueless, let them be and let them make their mistakes. Youre not going to win everything.

 

[ViridianV6]

Despite being a team game, focus on your play only.

-You most likely cannot say anything that will be beneficial to a bad player because people don't like admitting they're wrong even when they are.

-Give praise to people when they do well, even if they are on the other team, because the primary goal of normals is to have fun.

-If a teammate is feeding, take the perspective of his lane opponent. People are quicker to pounce on the guy going 0/5/0 than say that the teammate going 5/0/0 has a bad opponent.

-Take each game as it comes; how likely are you to remember the outcome of this game in a week?

-Mute anyone who is flaming you, keeping them in the loop is nothing but detrimental to your play.

This video by foxdrop is pretty good at combatting anger in game:


Also, I PMed my LoL IGN if you want to duo-queue some normals.

 

[loc978]

This is the problem with sports, e- or otherwise. It's all fun and games until people start to compete seriously. The psychological need for mastery combined with needing to overcome other people to achieve said mastery can turn anyone into an asshole... and frequently does so with most people.

If you're okay with that... embrace it, know what you have become, be an asshole.
If not... stop caring whether you win or lose. It's only a game.