Being an Adult Sucks
- Thread starter Paragon Fury
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But you can go look for another job if you dont like your boss. You cant go looking for another parent.Starbird said:Evidently you are self employedRavingSturm said:. Bosses suck worse than parents ever did.
I see my parent's genius in raising me now.
By making my childhood George Orwell's wet dream in surveillance and crackdown on what I'm able to do, getting to be an adult and actually being in control of everything is great. I don't have to do things arbitrarily because people tell me to. I don't have to pray and beg for money, or work because "Its a family obligation" for no pay - If I want money, I go out and work, and if I work, I get payed for it. The food is cooked when I want, and its actually cooked well instead of being charcoal because mum decided she'd rather watch TV then check on dinner. Additionally, the food bought is relevant to my tastes, rather than whatever random crap mother saw on the shelf and decided would be interesting to try.
I find most of the responsibilities are things I was already doing anyway, just now I have freedom in how I do them, and which I do. Budgeting, working, shopping, cooking, transporting myself - all things I was already doing.
I feel for you with the extra responsibility if you weren't prepared for it, but I'm loving the freedom I get as an adult. Its refreshing compared to my earlier life.
By making my childhood George Orwell's wet dream in surveillance and crackdown on what I'm able to do, getting to be an adult and actually being in control of everything is great. I don't have to do things arbitrarily because people tell me to. I don't have to pray and beg for money, or work because "Its a family obligation" for no pay - If I want money, I go out and work, and if I work, I get payed for it. The food is cooked when I want, and its actually cooked well instead of being charcoal because mum decided she'd rather watch TV then check on dinner. Additionally, the food bought is relevant to my tastes, rather than whatever random crap mother saw on the shelf and decided would be interesting to try.
I find most of the responsibilities are things I was already doing anyway, just now I have freedom in how I do them, and which I do. Budgeting, working, shopping, cooking, transporting myself - all things I was already doing.
I feel for you with the extra responsibility if you weren't prepared for it, but I'm loving the freedom I get as an adult. Its refreshing compared to my earlier life.
My biggest problems used to be "what do you MEAN you've never heard Type O Negative?!?" and "if you want to go out, you better sneak because your father will actually murder you."
All my new problems are just heightened high school.
-Friends! Guess what? As you get older, so do they so watch that social circle dwindle as they move on to kids, marriage and "maturity".
-Work! You are responsible for completing all of these things but instead of getting a grade and praise, you get a boss who refuses to notice how many days you've worked in a row or how you're the only one who ever answers when someone calls in. Also a paycheck that is awesome for the first couple days, should make you proud you have a roof but just represents how much of your life you have budgeted for said roof.
-Responsibility! You aren't just getting grounded anymore if you screw up! How about sued?
-Money! Yeah I was broke in High School, who wasn't? Maybe mom would throw you some cash or you had a part time job but you could afford the things you wanted more or less. Now? Oh no, madame, there is always a bill. And you will always forget one. If you put things on auto pay, they will overdraw your account due to the mystical power of "should come out this date, but didn't cuz reasons".
-Love! In High School you think dating is everything because that's what you were told your whole life. find your soulmate. find your love. Kill or die for each other. All love is a rock ballad. Now? Please. All anyone wants is someone who will get off the damn couch and help you earn that damn paycheck so you can put your bills on autopay so they can overdraft your account.
-Family! Before it was, "it's okay to make some mistakes, that's life." Now it's, "yeah that really is a problem, I can't believe you don't know these basic life things about how bad mistakes are and how much they can destroy your life now that you are financially responsible!"
Also, never forget, kiddies, High School never stops. They tell you "high school ends, you will never see these people again, it will all be over soon." LIES! It just becomes the workplace. It doesn't matter how old your co-workers are either. Don't believe me? Watch how mature someone is when their schedule gets changed or when someone else leaves their workstation a mess. The popularity contest never ends and no one wins forever. Gossip never stops. Sometimes, all it takes is a missing stapler to make you the Satan or Wherever Co. It's all petty. It never gets better. Maturity is when you stop saying "it's not fair" and you start saying "I will survive".
All my new problems are just heightened high school.
-Friends! Guess what? As you get older, so do they so watch that social circle dwindle as they move on to kids, marriage and "maturity".
-Work! You are responsible for completing all of these things but instead of getting a grade and praise, you get a boss who refuses to notice how many days you've worked in a row or how you're the only one who ever answers when someone calls in. Also a paycheck that is awesome for the first couple days, should make you proud you have a roof but just represents how much of your life you have budgeted for said roof.
-Responsibility! You aren't just getting grounded anymore if you screw up! How about sued?
-Money! Yeah I was broke in High School, who wasn't? Maybe mom would throw you some cash or you had a part time job but you could afford the things you wanted more or less. Now? Oh no, madame, there is always a bill. And you will always forget one. If you put things on auto pay, they will overdraw your account due to the mystical power of "should come out this date, but didn't cuz reasons".
-Love! In High School you think dating is everything because that's what you were told your whole life. find your soulmate. find your love. Kill or die for each other. All love is a rock ballad. Now? Please. All anyone wants is someone who will get off the damn couch and help you earn that damn paycheck so you can put your bills on autopay so they can overdraft your account.
-Family! Before it was, "it's okay to make some mistakes, that's life." Now it's, "yeah that really is a problem, I can't believe you don't know these basic life things about how bad mistakes are and how much they can destroy your life now that you are financially responsible!"
Also, never forget, kiddies, High School never stops. They tell you "high school ends, you will never see these people again, it will all be over soon." LIES! It just becomes the workplace. It doesn't matter how old your co-workers are either. Don't believe me? Watch how mature someone is when their schedule gets changed or when someone else leaves their workstation a mess. The popularity contest never ends and no one wins forever. Gossip never stops. Sometimes, all it takes is a missing stapler to make you the Satan or Wherever Co. It's all petty. It never gets better. Maturity is when you stop saying "it's not fair" and you start saying "I will survive".
Being an adult is awesome. Maybe you are not processing the whole thing correctly or maybe your home situation as a kid was super comfortable or something but when I was 18 I couldn't wait to move out. Living in a single room in a rooming house was preferable because i could do so on my own terms. lemme get this straight, I was not in an abusive situation, but my parents were getting older and my stepmom in particular wanted me out. I went through a couple of lean years but I would not trade them in for more time spent at home. It was all part of a learning experience for me.
I live on my terms, use my time like I want to and answer to no one but myself. I cannot comprehend why anyone would want to go back to being beholden to another the way you typically are as a child once you have tasted freedom. I would not trade something as important to me as personal freedom for something as cheap as comfort.
I live on my terms, use my time like I want to and answer to no one but myself. I cannot comprehend why anyone would want to go back to being beholden to another the way you typically are as a child once you have tasted freedom. I would not trade something as important to me as personal freedom for something as cheap as comfort.
There are pros and cons to being a child.
pros:
Innocence.
No responsibility.
Few consequences.
More free time.
Seemingly endless amounts of energy.
Fewer standards and expectations - you can do weird things and it's okay because you're a kid.
Cons:
No freedom or autonomy; your parents decide what you do, how you do it, when you do it and what you wear while you're doing it. And yes that includes curfews and bedtimes.
School, homework and chores.
No money.
You can be punished, this could be anything from having your possessions taken off you to a spanking depending on your parents and what's legal where you live, which really, really sucks. It's not okay for adults to hit one another but a parent can totally smack their child.
Bullies; if you harass or bully someone as an adult you can go to jail, yet the worse that might happen to a child is a good telling off or maybe even a suspension from school, but most likely nothing at all, and bullies can be cruel, really cruel.
Puberty sucks big time.
You're restricted by age restrictions on pretty much everything. So no alcohol, gambling, voting, sex, smoking, rated movies/games and so on....
Now when you become an adult you get rid of age restrictions and parental authority, so you can do more things and can't be punished by your parents anymore, although you trade this off for the law, but it's still better because you can't be assaulted anymore and people need a court order to remove your belongings, and that's only if you get into debt. You're also better protected from bullies too and no longer have to go to school, yes there is work but at least you're being paid for it.
As for freedom and autonomy, yes technically you have more. You can now decide what to wear and how you want to do things, but money plays a massive part in how much freedom you actually have, and this I believe is probably the most important factor in determining how much you will enjoy adult life. Money lets you do all those things you wanted to do as a child, without it you've traded some of the pros and cons of childhood with some of the pros and cons of adulthood, only you've way more responsibilities and less free time.
So adulthood can be good or bad, it depends on how much money (freedom), you have and how willing you are to do things without caring what other people think.
pros:
Innocence.
No responsibility.
Few consequences.
More free time.
Seemingly endless amounts of energy.
Fewer standards and expectations - you can do weird things and it's okay because you're a kid.
Cons:
No freedom or autonomy; your parents decide what you do, how you do it, when you do it and what you wear while you're doing it. And yes that includes curfews and bedtimes.
School, homework and chores.
No money.
You can be punished, this could be anything from having your possessions taken off you to a spanking depending on your parents and what's legal where you live, which really, really sucks. It's not okay for adults to hit one another but a parent can totally smack their child.
Bullies; if you harass or bully someone as an adult you can go to jail, yet the worse that might happen to a child is a good telling off or maybe even a suspension from school, but most likely nothing at all, and bullies can be cruel, really cruel.
Puberty sucks big time.
You're restricted by age restrictions on pretty much everything. So no alcohol, gambling, voting, sex, smoking, rated movies/games and so on....
Now when you become an adult you get rid of age restrictions and parental authority, so you can do more things and can't be punished by your parents anymore, although you trade this off for the law, but it's still better because you can't be assaulted anymore and people need a court order to remove your belongings, and that's only if you get into debt. You're also better protected from bullies too and no longer have to go to school, yes there is work but at least you're being paid for it.
As for freedom and autonomy, yes technically you have more. You can now decide what to wear and how you want to do things, but money plays a massive part in how much freedom you actually have, and this I believe is probably the most important factor in determining how much you will enjoy adult life. Money lets you do all those things you wanted to do as a child, without it you've traded some of the pros and cons of childhood with some of the pros and cons of adulthood, only you've way more responsibilities and less free time.
So adulthood can be good or bad, it depends on how much money (freedom), you have and how willing you are to do things without caring what other people think.
Being an adult isn't the problem. It's the damn pressure and sorrow and all those concerns and fears you now carry alone - which you don't have as a child/teenager - Those problems which were carried FOR you before (Mostly by your parents and the state)
(I had a huge text here, but i think this was all i had to say without ranting incoherently about my life and my observations about people for like two pages or so...)
(I had a huge text here, but i think this was all i had to say without ranting incoherently about my life and my observations about people for like two pages or so...)
Well first of all. I like your avatar.Paragon Fury said:
Second? Welcome to the real world my child; Where every day feels like the ending to Mass Effect 3. Before the free DLC
Okay I have two quotes for you. And one of them is by Doctor Who... "What's the point of being an adult if you can't be childish once in awhile" and " Hell is Earth. Heaven is what you make of it". So what do I mean by this?
Well for starters who ever tells you that your hobbies or interests are considered too childish can go take a leap off a cliff. My boss is in his mid fifties and he has a train set for fucks sake. Yes you have responsibilities. Yes it may seem you don't get rewarded for these responsibilities which is bollocks but I digress. The point is is you are now free within the confines of the law of your land to do whatever the heck you wish!
Also. Well yes being an adult sucks. But being a kid used to suck too. Not to mention I seem to recall being a teenager sucked as well. Life SUCKS! But nonetheless here you are. And unless you wish to hasten yourself unto your maker's presence uninvited I would say here you stay. So make the best of it! You say that everything adult is useless or uninteresting to you? Are you sure? Have you looked around? Check things out! Discover stuff! You never know, you might find something. Sure in the end you will have to give up some of your childhood, but what you may give up will be replaced by other things as your life continues.
I absolutely hated adolescence, the flood of hormones and raw emotions and acne that comes with it(none of which I ever asked for). Desperate attempts to try and fit in, looking for an identity to cling onto, being dependent on decisions other people made for you, horny as a goat but no girlfriend to bang, being overly aware of other people's perceptions, trying to act cool while in reality you're just an anxious little shit, insecurity about the future, your (lack of) friends, relationships etc.
Turning 30 was actually one of the best things that ever happened to me. From that moment on I cared for none of those things anymore. Your hormones mellow out, you gained a sense of perspective and understanding(one that can only be accumulated through life experience), friends and relationships become less of a necessity(so you become less emotionally dependent), you have a firm grasp of who you are and other people's perceptions of you mean little to nothing anymore. Fuck, I even look better now that the oily face and acne is gone. People who say your teens and twenties are the best time of your life. BULLSHIT. It fucking sucks. Maybe not for everyone but for many. Probably the vast majority(similarly as the amount of people who actually make it in life). The fairy dust of Hollywood and popular culture even had me fooled but it's pretty obvious when you wake up that life isn't really like that. And even those 'best case' scenario people who now probably have all their finances drained by mortgages and kids and other family obligations with almost no possibility to change their shit 9-to-5 jobs(cause mortgages, kids etc.); are they really all that happy? If I see the grumpy faces of people living that lifestyle, its a resounding 'no'.
I have my own (very succesful)business so thank fuck I don't have to linger in that hell called 'the workplace'(or atleast not as an employee) but still, if I can make it anyone can(highschool drop-out and all). The 'never again' of adolescence was definitely a strong motivator though. Thinking about my tweens still gives me the shivers. My adolescence also left me with my life philosophy that you have to make your own fun and fuck what everyone else thinks.
Turning 30 was actually one of the best things that ever happened to me. From that moment on I cared for none of those things anymore. Your hormones mellow out, you gained a sense of perspective and understanding(one that can only be accumulated through life experience), friends and relationships become less of a necessity(so you become less emotionally dependent), you have a firm grasp of who you are and other people's perceptions of you mean little to nothing anymore. Fuck, I even look better now that the oily face and acne is gone.
People who say your teens and twenties are the best time of your life. BULLSHIT. It fucking sucks. Maybe not for everyone but for many. Probably the vast majority(similarly as the amount of people who actually make it in life). The fairy dust of Hollywood and popular culture even had me fooled but it's pretty obvious when you wake up that life isn't really like that. And even those 'best case' scenario people who now probably have all their finances drained by mortgages and kids and other family obligations with almost no possibility to change their shit 9-to-5 jobs(cause mortgages, kids etc.); are they really all that happy? If I see the grumpy faces of people living that lifestyle, its a resounding 'no'.I have my own (very succesful)business so thank fuck I don't have to linger in that hell called 'the workplace'(or atleast not as an employee) but still, if I can make it anyone can(highschool drop-out and all). The 'never again' of adolescence was definitely a strong motivator though.
Thinking about my tweens still gives me the shivers. My adolescence also left me with my life philosophy that you have to make your own fun and fuck what everyone else thinks.
Good god, the 90s comics where correct!The Choke said:At the very least, we've come closer to understanding where he learned kung fu.V4Viewtiful said:So what your saying is, we've finally found Jesus?The Choke said:
[img=here]http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/3/38919/1926607-godyssey.jpg[/img]We should have known.
Then you get kicked out of your apartment for making a mess and causing a ruckus ;_;.CrazyBlaze said:
Just going to leave this here.
Being an adult is awesome. Being single was awesome - I got to decide what I did every day: go kayaking? Play video games? Hang out along reading? Whatever. Change jobs and get an education until I find a career I want to stay in? Awesome. Dating and lovers and heartbreak and going on adventures? Even the bad ones ended up being great life experiences in time. Being the sole decider of how and where I spent my time was fantastic. I lived in several states, did many things on more or less a whim (including a one-way plane ticket to Alaska to work in the fishing industry one summer), drove across USA's highway 10 coast to coast, etc. in addition to the fishing, I spent four years in the Air Force, worked a variety of jobs that each paid better than the last, and while I was never rolling around in money, was always able to save up for what I really wanted to do.
Being married is just as awesome. Always have a Player Two ready to go, someone who was out having their own single adventures with tons of stuff to now show and share with me, all great. We still pick great adventures together. They took a bit of a dip for a while she we had kids, but the youngest is out of diapers now and the exploration and adventure has been ramping back up. We still are the primary decision makers when it comes to where we live, how/where we vacation or spend extra money/time, and are generally not beholden to anyone.
Pre-adulthood, you only have as much ability to dictate your life as given to you by your parents and even then, whatever you have is almost solely as a gift from an adult. True, you don't have the responsibilities, but if you plan well, the responsibilities can be managed without too much bother and the freedoms more than make up for it. It's a little odd that I'm so focused on having the ability to dictate your own life as growing up, my parents were not strict and I worked from High School on and had access to my own income to do things, but perhaps having more freedom than many of my classmates gave me a taste for it.
TL;DR the benefit of adulthood over childhood is that if your life sucks, you have more options to change it yourself.
Being married is just as awesome. Always have a Player Two ready to go, someone who was out having their own single adventures with tons of stuff to now show and share with me, all great. We still pick great adventures together. They took a bit of a dip for a while she we had kids, but the youngest is out of diapers now and the exploration and adventure has been ramping back up. We still are the primary decision makers when it comes to where we live, how/where we vacation or spend extra money/time, and are generally not beholden to anyone.
Pre-adulthood, you only have as much ability to dictate your life as given to you by your parents and even then, whatever you have is almost solely as a gift from an adult. True, you don't have the responsibilities, but if you plan well, the responsibilities can be managed without too much bother and the freedoms more than make up for it. It's a little odd that I'm so focused on having the ability to dictate your own life as growing up, my parents were not strict and I worked from High School on and had access to my own income to do things, but perhaps having more freedom than many of my classmates gave me a taste for it.
TL;DR the benefit of adulthood over childhood is that if your life sucks, you have more options to change it yourself.
Stop caring about your relationships with other people outside of friends. That's how I do it.Vendor-Lazarus said:
Then again, I'm not an adult.
Yeah, sometimes it does.
But it does have its own rewards. Like not having to obey a lot of rules unless they're codified into law. Being able to choose whether or not you want people to be part of your life (assuming, of course, that they choose to make you part of theirs.) Being free, or at least considerably less burdened, of a lot of ongoing expectations of teachers and family.
I'll grant that I have a lot less free time than I did in college, and God knows I view sleep and its necessity in an entirely different light. But I wouldn't choose what I had over what I have. (Unless, y'know, I could take advantage of what I know now about the tech bubble, then go back and make mostly the same choices again anyway. Having gratuitous amounts of cash does make some things easier.)
But it does have its own rewards. Like not having to obey a lot of rules unless they're codified into law. Being able to choose whether or not you want people to be part of your life (assuming, of course, that they choose to make you part of theirs.) Being free, or at least considerably less burdened, of a lot of ongoing expectations of teachers and family.
I'll grant that I have a lot less free time than I did in college, and God knows I view sleep and its necessity in an entirely different light. But I wouldn't choose what I had over what I have. (Unless, y'know, I could take advantage of what I know now about the tech bubble, then go back and make mostly the same choices again anyway. Having gratuitous amounts of cash does make some things easier.)
Nope that's pretty much it. Do what you love. Find a career/boss that will allow you to either do it they way you want or figure out a way to keep said boss/company happy enough with you that they want you to do it again tomorrow. This is much easier to do if you are in a field you enjoy. I am a far better teacher than I was a telemarketer because I give a shit about my students, but not whether or not you want a home improvement loan (I'm sorry, I was paying off a credit card and it had a very flexible schedule).Zipzip the Penguin said:
Doing what you love and occasionally saying "hi" to people around you doing the same thing is a far better way to meet friend than trying to change yourself or another's views of you. It is impossible to please everyone, so don't waste time trying. My view is that pretty much everyone is in the closet one way or another, if only in an effort to not have to deal with that crazy uncle's rants at Thanksgiving. But really, it's far easier to come out of the closet, just be whoever you are and let your pool of friends self-select itself away or closer.
And that, is another benefit of being an adult - you don't need to worry about being grounded/kicked out of the house for speaking your mind. Just try to ensure that the people leaving you are leaving you because of your beliefs and not because you're being an ass about them.
I don?t know if it?s any better than being a teenager, but? I?m simultaneously excited and scared shitless for when I have to go to university later this year. I barely know how to iron my own fucking clothes, let alone actually sustain myself in a new city and not, y?know, die. And if I find it difficult to find enjoyment out of most things as a teenager, then how the fuck will I be able to stop myself from going mad from boredom when I go out in the real world?
But my mum tells me these are just normal worries, there?s always help available, and I?ll pick up these things as I go along. I am pretty proud of myself that I can cook a decent meal of pasta without burning the house down, because it?s less that I can?t do these things and more that I unintentionally create a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure for myself. And, being 19 now, it sure is nice that my mum basically doesn?t give a shit whenever I return home in the small hours, and she?s pretty much given up on telling me what time I should get off the computer, to the point that some days I?m the one who ends up apologizing to her unprompted for only logging off at, like, quarter to 1am.
Regarding growing up, I?ve passed the point of caring too much about what other people think of me. It?s just that, as a child, if you fuck up, it?s still legally your parents? or your teacher?s or whoever?s fault, because you?re too young and ignorant to know any better. As an adult, regardless of how ignorant you may still be, you?re royally ass-fucked if you fuck up because it will be entirely your responsibility if you fail to pay your bills, or miss a week of work, etc. Essentially, all the shit that you saw your parents somehow manage to do without their brains and hands exploding is what you?ll have to do ? and triple that if you end up having children too. Money isn?t just something you get given anymore; well, I mean, it is, but a chunk of that gets taken away in tax to pay for shit you probably don?t even agree with anyway.
Anyway, if you?ll excuse me, I?m going to go off and read my sci-fi books while I can.
Oh, one last thing. If adulthood sucks, that?s more than likely because life itself sucks, generally. Sometimes, even having too much freedom can be bad. Like, if you?re an adult but you still have the mentality of a child to just want to eat all the unhealthy junk food and chocolate and whatnot you like without anyone to stop you until it?s too late and you?re a fat bastard who can?t lose the pounds without even more hard work. Oh, and you?ve got an assignment to hand in or else you?re fired, but don?t relax after that, ?cos you?ve got to go to the doctor about that string of illnesses you?ve been getting because your body starts breaking down with age. And you want to go out on the weekend and have a drink, but all your friends from secondary school and university have all but drifted away from you and now you only have a few fuckers that you keep company with and THEY are always busy TOO! WTF?!
But my mum tells me these are just normal worries, there?s always help available, and I?ll pick up these things as I go along. I am pretty proud of myself that I can cook a decent meal of pasta without burning the house down, because it?s less that I can?t do these things and more that I unintentionally create a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure for myself. And, being 19 now, it sure is nice that my mum basically doesn?t give a shit whenever I return home in the small hours, and she?s pretty much given up on telling me what time I should get off the computer, to the point that some days I?m the one who ends up apologizing to her unprompted for only logging off at, like, quarter to 1am.
Regarding growing up, I?ve passed the point of caring too much about what other people think of me. It?s just that, as a child, if you fuck up, it?s still legally your parents? or your teacher?s or whoever?s fault, because you?re too young and ignorant to know any better. As an adult, regardless of how ignorant you may still be, you?re royally ass-fucked if you fuck up because it will be entirely your responsibility if you fail to pay your bills, or miss a week of work, etc. Essentially, all the shit that you saw your parents somehow manage to do without their brains and hands exploding is what you?ll have to do ? and triple that if you end up having children too. Money isn?t just something you get given anymore; well, I mean, it is, but a chunk of that gets taken away in tax to pay for shit you probably don?t even agree with anyway.
Anyway, if you?ll excuse me, I?m going to go off and read my sci-fi books while I can.
Oh, one last thing. If adulthood sucks, that?s more than likely because life itself sucks, generally. Sometimes, even having too much freedom can be bad. Like, if you?re an adult but you still have the mentality of a child to just want to eat all the unhealthy junk food and chocolate and whatnot you like without anyone to stop you until it?s too late and you?re a fat bastard who can?t lose the pounds without even more hard work. Oh, and you?ve got an assignment to hand in or else you?re fired, but don?t relax after that, ?cos you?ve got to go to the doctor about that string of illnesses you?ve been getting because your body starts breaking down with age. And you want to go out on the weekend and have a drink, but all your friends from secondary school and university have all but drifted away from you and now you only have a few fuckers that you keep company with and THEY are always busy TOO! WTF?!
Things come in time from experience. As long as you don't end up killing yourself with a fuck up, nothing you screw up is irreparable. Its only a life-lesson (and maybe a week without power, or scrambling to find rent money) that ends up making you a better human. Parents can arm you with some knowledge, but ultimately its experience (and sometimes being sick of eating only ramen) that ends up putting you in a mindset to make life not suck.Relish in Chaos said:
Life is what you make it, and is a job in itself when you become an adult. But its like anything else, once you've done it enough its not as hard or daunting as it seemed at the outset.
