Beliefs and feelings you used to have, but now don't.

[dfphetteplace]

Today I was reading about when the Columbia broke up on reentry in 2003. The I read about the 7 astronauts that died on the ship, and how awful it would have been if they had had time to realize what was about to happen, and if they were able to feel any part of the fiery disintegration of their ship.
I started to think back to how I felt when it happened. At the time I was still a teenager in high school. I remember feeling bad, but not terribly so. I remember how I quickly got sick of hearing the story on the news, and quickly became numb to it. I never thought of the families the crew left behind, and how it was such a sad moment for my country, and my species.
I realize now that I was just a cynically teen, probably a little too self centered for my own good (although I believe that I was more caring than most teens were when I was in school). I fell remorseful about how I used to think when it came to tragedy, and death. I started to think how different I am now. I know now how much of a front I put up, mostly for myself than anyone else. I know that I was just kind of an asshole.
I have now grown up. I can have empathy for others and what they feel. Being a paramedic, I now get to see the best and worst in humanity. I am invited everyday into someone else's worse day, sometimes their nightmare. I am called to bring order when there is only chaos. I have held a child as they have taken their first breath, and their last. I have knelled in a child's blood in the roadway, pumping on their chest even though I knew it was hopeless. I was there to tell her dad that his little girl was dead. I saw him cry, I tried to comfort him in a moment when his life was shattered, and had to hold back my own tears for so I could be a pillar in a world that seemed to be in flux.
So what I am asking is, as you have grown up, what has changed about you that has made you see the world in a different way? Did something happen to change that view, or did it just progress as you older, like it did for me?



TL,DR: I used to be kind of a cynical asshole, but have grown up and no longer feel that way. What feelings or beliefs have you had that changed as you got older?

Note: This may be mostly for people in their mid-twenties and older.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

I used to be so lonely... I was fat, I didnt care how I dressed and I was just generally miserable. But as the Gravemind once said "Time has taught me patience!" I have lost 40 kgs since january last year after dieting.

Now I dress better and take care of myself, the response from women is quite noticable. Plus I just generally feel happy and don't give a fuck if I'm single anymore which has allowed me to relax around women.I've even started dancing when I go out on the town, and I'm not bad at it. Unskilled but enthusiastic I'd call myself. The right song can whip me into quite the frenzy.

There's this one woman who told me I look amazing now, I'm thinking I might ask her to dance next time I see her...

Edit: this should be in off topic section.

 

[Austin Howe]

Uhm, well to bring this into the realm of games, I'm going to say, I used to think that gameplay and fun would always trump the importance of a game's artistic intent or aspirations. Now, I don't. I also enjoy more or less any game that minimalizes the importance of combat and emphasizes things like platforming, puzzle solving, and general soak-in-the-atmosphere experience-having over games the importance of combat. (These are typically "artsier" games, your LoK's, Metal Gear's, and Ico's.)

But, to the original tone, I'm 18, so I guess I'm not really in a place to make statements here. But since I was say, 13, I've gotten progressively more serious about politics, (it's gone from "tangential interest next to music" to "career"), less serious about music, less convinced of the impact of art and artists (in comparison to people who actually end up getting things done), more lonely, more convinced of the power of love, more convinced of the necessity of love, and more open to the concept of having my own children.

That about sums it up?

 

[AceofStaves]

Ages 14 to 16, I was a cynical jerk. I don't know that there was any reason for it, beyond teenage bullshit and a growing awareness of the world around me. Anyway, around the time I turned 17, I decided I was tired of that garbage and started taking another look around at just how awesome life can be. Also, around the same time I got cynical, I got political. I'm 19 now and much more moderate politically (No, I won't tell you what direction the drift was) as well as much more optimistic and generally positive. Not a particularly interesting story, I suppose, but eh.

 

[Indecipherable]

I can't agree with the general thrust of what the OP states about how he didn't feel remorse as a teenager and that he was a 'poorer person for it'.

There are defence mechanisms we have to block out the otherwise overwhelming grief that occurs in the world each and every day - nay, each and every second.

It is sad when a life is lost in a tragedy such as a shuttle accident. It is highly publicised and in your face, too. But calamities occur on a much greater scale all the time which we are aware of, most pronounced of which is the starvation, rape and war that occurs every moment in Africa.

I can't judge someone any worse a person because they get sick of hearing about a tragedy in the news. A life lost, regardless of publicity, is a terrible thing, and the difference is simply that you are already ignoring -millios- of these but feel guilty for getting tired about hearing about -7- of another.

It's a defence mechanism because to truly take in the horrible things that happen to Humans every day would basically just drop you into the foetal position.

 

[Austin Howe]

Also, to the OP: I guess I'm a bit proud of myself, because I sorta had the same experience with 9/11 when I was seven. It helps that my brother died when I was 9, but I observe the day with absolutely nothing but solace. My friends drive me insane. For the 10-th anniversary last year, approximately fucking everyone I knew decided it would be best to commemorate the death of about 3000 people by saying things like "Stop talking about it, I'm not going to forget it anytime soon."

. . . Fuck those assholes.

I'm also experiencing the cynicism that a lot of these people in the thread felt as well, but I try to apply it or cope with it in healthy ways until maybe someday I'll just wake up and not have to think about the empty spot in the bed next to me, or the children that died while I slept. These days, for example, my modus operandi has been "You don't like living, so why don't you spend your life fighting for people who do instead of just killing yourself?" I also try and redirect the fire towards things that matter. I try not to get truly angry about petty personal bullshit or high school drama, but I'll get absolutely furious when discussing politics in conversations that don't really intend to be civil. I really can work myself to the brink of tears when I do that.

I can't agree with the general thrust of what the OP states about how he didn't feel remorse as a teenager and that he was a 'poorer person for it'.

There are defence mechanisms we have to block out the otherwise overwhelming grief that occurs in the world each and every day - nay, each and every second.

It is sad when a life is lost in a tragedy such as a shuttle accident. It is highly publicised and in your face, too. But calamities occur on a much greater scale all the time which we are aware of, most pronounced of which is the starvation, rape and war that occurs every moment in Africa.

I can't judge someone any worse a person because they get sick of hearing about a tragedy in the news. A life lost, regardless of publicity, is a terrible thing, and the difference is simply that you are already ignoring -millios- of these but feel guilty for getting tired about hearing about -7- of another.

It's a defence mechanism because to truly take in the horrible things that happen to Humans every day would basically just drop you into the foetal position.

Well, you could get all pissy about it, go into Neon Genesis Evangelion mode (no, tht's not an insult, I love that show), or you could try and be responsible for your community of fellow people and fight it. Feed people, build homes for the homeless, research diseases, try and prevent people from killing themselves, just something.

Admittedly, I'm sort of locked in a dead-heat with that cynicism that I experience every day now, but still, it occurs to me as being irresponsible to simply let your defense mechanisms do their thing and let your subconsciense control you like that. It spits in the face of human suffering.

I'm sorry, but at least having the courage to face the world honestly is not that hard. And it only takes marginally more courage to dedicate maybe a week of total hours in your life to try and make it better.

. . .

I feel like I might be misreading more Quietist subtext into what you said than actually exists. Please feel free to correct me.

 

[Indecipherable]

Also, to the OP: I guess I'm a bit proud of myself, because I sorta had the same experience with 9/11 when I was seven. It helps that my brother died when I was 9, but I observe the day with absolutely nothing but solace. My friends drive me insane. For the 10-th anniversary last year, approximately fucking everyone I knew decided it would be best to commemorate the death of about 3000 people by saying things like "Stop talking about it, I'm not going to forget it anytime soon."

. . . Fuck those assholes.

I'm also experiencing the cynicism that a lot of these people in the thread felt as well, but I try to apply it or cope with it in healthy ways until maybe someday I'll just wake up and not have to think about the empty spot in the bed next to me, or the children that died while I slept. These days, for example, my modus operandi has been "You don't like living, so why don't you spend your life fighting for people who do instead of just killing yourself?" I also try and redirect the fire towards things that matter. I try not to get truly angry about petty personal bullshit or high school drama, but I'll get absolutely furious when discussing politics in conversations that don't really intend to be civil. I really can work myself to the brink of tears when I do that.

I can't agree with the general thrust of what the OP states about how he didn't feel remorse as a teenager and that he was a 'poorer person for it'.

There are defence mechanisms we have to block out the otherwise overwhelming grief that occurs in the world each and every day - nay, each and every second.

It is sad when a life is lost in a tragedy such as a shuttle accident. It is highly publicised and in your face, too. But calamities occur on a much greater scale all the time which we are aware of, most pronounced of which is the starvation, rape and war that occurs every moment in Africa.

I can't judge someone any worse a person because they get sick of hearing about a tragedy in the news. A life lost, regardless of publicity, is a terrible thing, and the difference is simply that you are already ignoring -millios- of these but feel guilty for getting tired about hearing about -7- of another.

It's a defence mechanism because to truly take in the horrible things that happen to Humans every day would basically just drop you into the foetal position.

Well, you could get all pissy about it, go into Neon Genesis Evangelion mode (no, tht's not an insult, I love that show), or you could try and be responsible for your community of fellow people and fight it. Feed people, build homes for the homeless, research diseases, try and prevent people from killing themselves, just something.

Admittedly, I'm sort of locked in a dead-heat with that cynicism that I experience every day now, but still, it occurs to me as being irresponsible to simply let your defense mechanisms do their thing and let your subconsciense control you like that. It spits in the face of human suffering.

I'm sorry, but at least having the courage to face the world honestly is not that hard. And it only takes marginally more courage to dedicate maybe a week of total hours in your life to try and make it better.

. . .

I feel like I might be misreading more Quietist subtext into what you said than actually exists. Please feel free to correct me.

I'll address this piece by piece. I think there's a sense of irony that you are upset with cynicism when your first paragraph is this:

For the 10-th anniversary last year, approximately fucking everyone I knew decided it would be best to commemorate the death of about 3000 people by saying things like "Stop talking about it, I'm not going to forget it anytime soon."

. . . Fuck those assholes.

Stating thus that approximately 'fucking everyone is an asshole'.

People take tragedy in different ways. They've stated that they acknowledge what has happened, but for you to insist upon them reflecting on it the same way as you is a strange thing. Hell, some people laugh off terrible things - this doesn't make the depth of their feelings any more or less valid.

I respect tradition, and remembrance, and your example here doesn't exactly follow the OPs original statement. In that he was tired of hearing about the shuttle tragedy. To me that is perfectly valid - how long is it okay to keep going on about it? Two days? Two weeks? Two years? There's a line somewhere and everyone will have a different place for where that is. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I'm also experiencing the cynicism that a lot of these people in the thread felt as well, but I try to apply it or cope with it in healthy ways until maybe someday I'll just wake up and not have to think about the empty spot in the bed next to me, or the children that died while I slept. These days, for example, my modus operandi has been "You don't like living, so why don't you spend your life fighting for people who do instead of just killing yourself?" I also try and redirect the fire towards things that matter. I try not to get truly angry about petty personal bullshit or high school drama, but I'll get absolutely furious when discussing politics in conversations that don't really intend to be civil. I really can work myself to the brink of tears when I do that.

This just kind of smacks of teeny angst and I'm not sure how to reply to it. It's just a mass of emotions that are yours and yours to deal with. If there was an answer to this, fuck it'd be great. Actually - correction - there is an answer - that answer is "Time".

Well, you could get all pissy about it, go into Neon Genesis Evangelion mode (no, tht's not an insult, I love that show), or you could try and be responsible for your community of fellow people and fight it. Feed people, build homes for the homeless, research diseases, try and prevent people from killing themselves, just something.

I'm not sure why your definition of a good person fits such an astoundingly few number of people in the world. To me a good person is one that lives a happy life without hindering others. If everyone lived by such tenants we'd be a better place for it. I respect altruistic people that go out of their way to help others by building homeless shelters, but for them to be the sole characteristics of what makes someone a good person is not right. I believe I am largely a good person, I do not break the law, I work constructively, I would like to think I bring happiness to those around me - both friends and family. No I'm not saving the world but nor is anyone else. I don't believe I need to deal with tragedy by becoming a Saint, nor would I judge others poorly for the same.

Admittedly, I'm sort of locked in a dead-heat with that cynicism that I experience every day now, but still, it occurs to me as being irresponsible to simply let your defense mechanisms do their thing and let your subconsciense control you like that. It spits in the face of human suffering.

Well then the whole world is irresponsible, although that to a varying degree is actually quite true. Perhaps it is because I simply understand that sheer depths of tragedy that people must experience on every day that I have come to acknowledge that I cannot help them all. If you want to let every emotional possibility impinge upon you I again reiterate that you would simply fall into the foetal position. It is beyond any individual. I give to select charities (two charities in admittedly small amounts - do you?) and pay my taxes fairly which supports those in lesser positions than I. I honestly think I live in the real world where you live in an illusion where you must be out there saving everyone else you are a cynical, irresponsible individual (you words, not mine). I disagree.

I'm sorry, but at least having the courage to face the world honestly is not that hard. And it only takes marginally more courage to dedicate maybe a week of total hours in your life to try and make it better.

I do. The reality is that you cannot be everything. I think you are living in some idealised dream rather than facing this. As said, I give to two charities, but cannot accept that I must live under the emotional burdon of the suffering millions (or billions) feel every day. It's too much for anyone. It's life, it sucks for many, but no-one is superman (or superwoman), so don't be judgemental if they do their best to live a happy life rather than live to your impossible standards of building homeless shelters/devoting their life to charity/researching diseases. It's just a fairy tale.

 

[Skin]

I yearned to be popular and well liked through my teen years, and I was popular and well liked. Now people disgust me and I just dont want to associate with them when I can avoid it.

 

[Freechoice]

That all men are created equal.

That's just not true. Rather, it's the idea that people should be treated equally.

As said, I give to two charities, but cannot accept that I must live under the emotional burdon of the suffering millions (or billions) feel every day.

You don't have to do shit. The world's fucked and it's been fucked since time immemorial. Really, the guy you're quoting makes more emotional sense than you. He doesn't give a shit about his life and still wants to do good in the world.

You know what that is?

That's fuckin' Batman right there.

 

[Don Savik]

Well I'm a depressed cynical nerd that can't talk to people by himself and can't get a job or make new friends so I don't think my disposition has changed any...hmmm........

As for choice in media I have pretty much turned my back on all anime and games with anime art. I found them crazy enough when I was younger, good brain-dead fun, but now....the tropes just bug the hell out of me. There are a few good gems, but overall I find myself more critical.

Also I used to have more unquestionable respect for my elder family members, till I realized that while they stand up for what they believe in (an admirable trait) what they believed in was usually bollocks. Pure and utter bollocks. I'm an American and I'm using that word. I dunno..I just...feel like that's the word to use in this situation.

I wish I could change my negative outlook on life though, its so hard to be optimistic about anything though when your life's just been utter shit for the past decade. Sigh

 

[Reep]

I used to be depressed because i felt i was was kinda socially awkward and felt alone and i used to worry a lot about being single. This was mostly during high school.

Now, 3-4 years later, i'm significantly more confident, which has led me to make friends very easily and i've been through a few shattering relationships/situations which make me appreciate single life a lot.

I've changed from being unconfortable being me, to being very happy and content with myself.

Feelsgoodman.jpg

 

[Da Orky Man]

That all men are created equal.

That's just not true. Rather, it's the idea that people should be treated equally.

As said, I give to two charities, but cannot accept that I must live under the emotional burdon of the suffering millions (or billions) feel every day.

You don't have to do shit. The world's fucked and it's been fucked since time immemorial. Really, the guy you're quoting makes more emotional sense than you. He doesn't give a shit about his life and still wants to do good in the world.

You know what that is?

That's fuckin' Batman right there.

And, to be fair, the world is in the best situation it has ever been in. Average life expectancy is the highest it's been in human history, number of wars compared to the population are at an all-time low, a relatively tiny percentage of the population is in poverty, need I go on?

 

[Indecipherable]

That all men are created equal.

That's just not true. Rather, it's the idea that people should be treated equally.

As said, I give to two charities, but cannot accept that I must live under the emotional burdon of the suffering millions (or billions) feel every day.

You don't have to do shit. The world's fucked and it's been fucked since time immemorial. Really, the guy you're quoting makes more emotional sense than you. He doesn't give a shit about his life and still wants to do good in the world.

You know what that is?

That's fuckin' Batman right there.

And, to be fair, the world is in the best situation it has ever been in. Average life expectancy is the highest it's been in human history, number of wars compared to the population are at an all-time low, a relatively tiny percentage of the population is in poverty, need I go on?

1.4 billion people is a relatively 'tiny' percentage?

Life expectancies in some countries is as low as 47...

Where do you get your numbers from?

PS:

http://www.gapminder.org/world/#$majorMode=chart$is;shi=t;ly=2003;lb=f;il=t;fs=11;al=30;stl=t;st=t;nsl=t;se=t$wst;tts=C$ts;sp=5.59290322580644;ti=2010$zpv;v=0$inc_x;mmid=XCOORDS;iid=phAwcNAVuyj1jiMAkmq1iMg;by=ind$inc_y;mmid=YCOORDS;iid=phAwcNAVuyj2tPLxKvvnNPA;by=ind$inc_s;uniValue=8.21;iid=phAwcNAVuyj0XOoBL%5Fn5tAQ;by=ind$inc_c;uniValue=255;gid=CATID0;by=grp$map_x;scale=log;dataMin=295;dataMax=79210$map_y;scale=lin;dataMin=19;dataMax=86$map_s;sma=49;smi=2.65$cd;bd=0$inds=;example=75

FANTASTIC site for all things Economics. Above link is per capita GDP vs Life Expectancy.

 

[launchpadmcqwak]

i used to be all anti religious and i thought atheists were awseome...no i see that they just whine a whole lot and feel smug about themselves so now i kinda see myself as someone who doesn't believe in god, but cant be labeled as an atheist

 

[malestrithe]

I used to have the libertarian position on most things in life. Then one day, I read some rebuttals of it, trying to make the rote answer work for myself. One day, when I realized that I could not justify it to myself anymore, I stopped being a libertarian. I realized that it was mostly a childish position that could easily be countered with simple logic. It also does not attempt to take into consideration the give and take nature of life.

 

[Reggie Rock]

That all men are created equal.

That's just not true. Rather, it's the idea that people should be treated equally.

As said, I give to two charities, but cannot accept that I must live under the emotional burdon of the suffering millions (or billions) feel every day.

You don't have to do shit. The world's fucked and it's been fucked since time immemorial. Really, the guy you're quoting makes more emotional sense than you. He doesn't give a shit about his life and still wants to do good in the world.

You know what that is?

That's fuckin' Batman right there.

I'm gonna drop a hint right here. Everything that has ever been done was done for the benefit of someone. This guy doesn't care about his life but still wants to do good? So does everyone else in the world. Everyone wants to make life better for someone, be it themselves or another. The selfish and the selfless are both doing good, the only difference is the party that is benefited.

Selflessness is meaningless. No one does something if it does not benefit them in some way.

 

[Indecipherable]

I used to have the libertarian position on most things in life. Then one day, I read some rebuttals of it, trying to make the rote answer work for myself. One day, when I realized that I could not justify it to myself anymore, I stopped being a libertarian. I realized that it was mostly a childish position that could easily be countered with simple logic. It also does not attempt to take into consideration the give and take nature of life.

Pretty much this is what happens to just about everyone as they grow older. They start of highly liberal and free thinking with these dreams of what is ideal, but as they get older they come to see the world just doesn't work that way and sometimes sacrifices are made that cost people greatly to preserve what is best. I've slowly moved from very liberal to much more conservative as I've grown older, as does the majority of the population.

It would be lovely for the dream of what I had in my youth to be possible people it simply cannot and will never be a reality.

 

[bauke67]

I guess I just found out I'm a very cynical teen.
Hoorray!
I don't intend to change that out of my own accord however.

 

[MetalMagpie]

I was almost militantly anti-religion as a teenager (to the point of going nuts one day and properly yelling at an evangelical friend). But I mellowed a lot as I entered my twenties.

My position now is that I can see a lot of the benefits of having faith and the therapeutic qualities of praying. I even pray myself when I'm having a really bad day (about-to-break-down-and-cry sort of bad). But I'm still an atheist.

 

[TheVioletBandit]

It's life, it sucks for many, but no-one is superman (or superwoman), so don't be judgemental if they do their best to live a happy life rather than live to your impossible standards of building homeless shelters/devoting their life to charity/researching diseases. It's just a fairy tale.

Also, to the OP: I guess I'm a bit proud of myself, because I sorta had the same experience with 9/11 when I was seven. It helps that my brother died when I was 9, but I observe the day with absolutely nothing but solace. My friends drive me insane. For the 10-th anniversary last year, approximately fucking everyone I knew decided it would be best to commemorate the death of about 3000 people by saying things like "Stop talking about it, I'm not going to forget it anytime soon."

. . . Fuck those assholes.

I'm also experiencing the cynicism that a lot of these people in the thread felt as well, but I try to apply it or cope with it in healthy ways until maybe someday I'll just wake up and not have to think about the empty spot in the bed next to me, or the children that died while I slept. These days, for example, my modus operandi has been "You don't like living, so why don't you spend your life fighting for people who do instead of just killing yourself?" I also try and redirect the fire towards things that matter. I try not to get truly angry about petty personal bullshit or high school drama, but I'll get absolutely furious when discussing politics in conversations that don't really intend to be civil. I really can work myself to the brink of tears when I do that.

I can't agree with the general thrust of what the OP states about how he didn't feel remorse as a teenager and that he was a 'poorer person for it'.

There are defence mechanisms we have to block out the otherwise overwhelming grief that occurs in the world each and every day - nay, each and every second.

It is sad when a life is lost in a tragedy such as a shuttle accident. It is highly publicised and in your face, too. But calamities occur on a much greater scale all the time which we are aware of, most pronounced of which is the starvation, rape and war that occurs every moment in Africa.

I can't judge someone any worse a person because they get sick of hearing about a tragedy in the news. A life lost, regardless of publicity, is a terrible thing, and the difference is simply that you are already ignoring -millios- of these but feel guilty for getting tired about hearing about -7- of another.

It's a defence mechanism because to truly take in the horrible things that happen to Humans every day would basically just drop you into the foetal position.

Well, you could get all pissy about it, go into Neon Genesis Evangelion mode (no, tht's not an insult, I love that show), or you could try and be responsible for your community of fellow people and fight it. Feed people, build homes for the homeless, research diseases, try and prevent people from killing themselves, just something.

Admittedly, I'm sort of locked in a dead-heat with that cynicism that I experience every day now, but still, it occurs to me as being irresponsible to simply let your defense mechanisms do their thing and let your subconsciense control you like that. It spits in the face of human suffering.

I'm sorry, but at least having the courage to face the world honestly is not that hard. And it only takes marginally more courage to dedicate maybe a week of total hours in your life to try and make it better.

. . .

I feel like I might be misreading more Quietist subtext into what you said than actually exists. Please feel free to correct me.

I'll address this piece by piece. I think there's a sense of irony that you are upset with cynicism when your first paragraph is this:

For the 10-th anniversary last year, approximately fucking everyone I knew decided it would be best to commemorate the death of about 3000 people by saying things like "Stop talking about it, I'm not going to forget it anytime soon."

. . . Fuck those assholes.

Stating thus that approximately 'fucking everyone is an asshole'.

People take tragedy in different ways. They've stated that they acknowledge what has happened, but for you to insist upon them reflecting on it the same way as you is a strange thing. Hell, some people laugh off terrible things - this doesn't make the depth of their feelings any more or less valid.

I respect tradition, and remembrance, and your example here doesn't exactly follow the OPs original statement. In that he was tired of hearing about the shuttle tragedy. To me that is perfectly valid - how long is it okay to keep going on about it? Two days? Two weeks? Two years? There's a line somewhere and everyone will have a different place for where that is. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I'm also experiencing the cynicism that a lot of these people in the thread felt as well, but I try to apply it or cope with it in healthy ways until maybe someday I'll just wake up and not have to think about the empty spot in the bed next to me, or the children that died while I slept. These days, for example, my modus operandi has been "You don't like living, so why don't you spend your life fighting for people who do instead of just killing yourself?" I also try and redirect the fire towards things that matter. I try not to get truly angry about petty personal bullshit or high school drama, but I'll get absolutely furious when discussing politics in conversations that don't really intend to be civil. I really can work myself to the brink of tears when I do that.

This just kind of smacks of teeny angst and I'm not sure how to reply to it. It's just a mass of emotions that are yours and yours to deal with. If there was an answer to this, fuck it'd be great. Actually - correction - there is an answer - that answer is "Time".

Well, you could get all pissy about it, go into Neon Genesis Evangelion mode (no, tht's not an insult, I love that show), or you could try and be responsible for your community of fellow people and fight it. Feed people, build homes for the homeless, research diseases, try and prevent people from killing themselves, just something.

I'm not sure why your definition of a good person fits such an astoundingly few number of people in the world. To me a good person is one that lives a happy life without hindering others. If everyone lived by such tenants we'd be a better place for it. I respect altruistic people that go out of their way to help others by building homeless shelters, but for them to be the sole characteristics of what makes someone a good person is not right. I believe I am largely a good person, I do not break the law, I work constructively, I would like to think I bring happiness to those around me - both friends and family. No I'm not saving the world but nor is anyone else. I don't believe I need to deal with tragedy by becoming a Saint, nor would I judge others poorly for the same.

Admittedly, I'm sort of locked in a dead-heat with that cynicism that I experience every day now, but still, it occurs to me as being irresponsible to simply let your defense mechanisms do their thing and let your subconsciense control you like that. It spits in the face of human suffering.

Well then the whole world is irresponsible, although that to a varying degree is actually quite true. Perhaps it is because I simply understand that sheer depths of tragedy that people must experience on every day that I have come to acknowledge that I cannot help them all. If you want to let every emotional possibility impinge upon you I again reiterate that you would simply fall into the foetal position. It is beyond any individual. I give to select charities (two charities in admittedly small amounts - do you?) and pay my taxes fairly which supports those in lesser positions than I. I honestly think I live in the real world where you live in an illusion where you must be out there saving everyone else you are a cynical, irresponsible individual (you words, not mine). I disagree.

I'm sorry, but at least having the courage to face the world honestly is not that hard. And it only takes marginally more courage to dedicate maybe a week of total hours in your life to try and make it better.

I do. The reality is that you cannot be everything. I think you are living in some idealised dream rather than facing this. As said, I give to two charities, but cannot accept that I must live under the emotional burdon of the suffering millions (or billions) feel every day. It's too much for anyone. It's life, it sucks for many, but no-one is superman (or superwoman), so don't be judgemental if they do their best to live a happy life rather than live to your impossible standards of building homeless shelters/devoting their life to charity/researching diseases. It's just a fairy tale.

I just wanted to comment on these two things that you've said:


1. "I'm not sure why your definition of a good person fits such an astoundingly few number of people in the world. To me a good person is one that lives a happy life without hindering others. If everyone lived by such tenants we'd be a better place for it. I respect altruistic people that go out of their way to help others by building homeless shelters, but for them to be the sole characteristics of what makes someone a good person is not right. I believe I am largely a good person, I do not break the law, I work constructively, I would like to think I bring happiness to those around me - both friends and family. No I'm not saving the world but nor is anyone else. I don't believe I need to deal with tragedy by becoming a Saint, nor would I judge others poorly for the same."

Your idea that a good person simply lives a happy life without hindering others is odd to me. Firstly why is "lives a happy life" in your definition of a good person? I am sure that plenty of horrible people have lived perfectly happy lives, all the while enjoying their monstrous activities. Also, I think we can safely say that plenty of good people have lived absolutely miserable lives, and were probably terribly unhappy people. Secondly not being a hindrance is morally neutral. If your equally allowing good and evil to occur without hindrance you have done nothing, which I guess is what not being a hindered means. Then, not breaking the law and working constructively have little to no moral value as well. Not breaking the law means you have obeyed your government, is your government wholly good? There are plenty of laws in my country, and in other countries that I know of that I find morally objectionable, and would go so far as to say you would be a better person for breaking them. As for working constructively, it all depends on what your working on. Honestly, the only thing I can find in your statement that is truly characteristic of goodness is that you bring happiness to those around you.


2. so don't be judgemental if they do their best to live a happy life rather than live to your impossible standards of building homeless shelters/devoting their life to charity/researching diseases. It's just a fairy tale.[/quote]

Again, here you say, "if they do their best to live a happy life" as if seeking personal happiness was a positive or morally good alternative to altruism, what makes you think this? Making yourself happier in no way makes you a better person. Finally, the standards that your speaking of are not a fairy tale or impossible, people do that stuff everyday.