Best Chuck Norris Jokes?

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Amsay

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Mar 26, 2009
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Did a quick search and found nothing like this.

Let me start with a couple of my own.

In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass!
Chuck Norris eats numbers divided by zero for breakfast. Without any milk.
 

Archaon6044

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Oct 21, 2008
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Chuck Norris does not sleep...
he waits...


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer
it's a shame he never cries
 

Legion

Were it so easy
Oct 2, 2008
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EcoEclipse said:
Old and unfunny meme is old and unfunny.
Gxas said:
I got a good one:

Chuck Norris was never cool or funny.
The topic was quite clear in the title, if you don't like it then refrain from posting in the future.

Trolling isn't wanted or needed.
 
Apr 14, 2009
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I have a feeling this will end up locked.

But anyway, In the beginning there was nothing, then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and told it to get a job, that's how the universe was created. (Wording may be off but I haven't told one of these jokes in years to be fair.)
 

Zani

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May 14, 2008
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If Chuck Norris has 1 dollar and you also have 1 dollar, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
 

Cheesus333

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Aug 20, 2008
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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.

Chuck Norris found another word for synonym.

If Chuck Norris is running late, time had better slow the fuck down.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King - and got it.

There is no evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

On an unrelated note, me and a friend visited ChuckNorris.com and e-mailed him asking if he was Jesus, then pleading his divine return. Y'know, for the lulz.
 

Soulgaunt

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Jan 14, 2009
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Chuck Norris doesn't take showers, he takes blood baths.
When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the puddle gets Chuck Norris'd.
 

H.R.Shovenstuff

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Sep 19, 2008
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I hate Chuck Norris jokes, remind me of idiots at my school who just discovered 4chan and still think lolcats are funny.
 

fenrizz

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Feb 7, 2009
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GodsOneMistake said:
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin, that he built with his own two hands.
Just like Abraham Lincoln!

OT:
Chuck Norris invented the spoon, because killing people with a knife was just too easy.

H.R.Shovenstuff said:
I hate Chuck Norris jokes, remind me of idiots at my school who just discovered 4chan and still think lolcats are funny.
But lolcatz are funny...
 

sharks9

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Mar 28, 2009
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Some people check their closets for the bogeyman, the bogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris
 

ssgt splatter

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Oct 8, 2008
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Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. A horse is hung like Chuck Norris.

I'm sorry but that's the only one I know.