Best Chuck Norris Jokes?

[sneeson]

Chuck Norris once went back in time to save JFK. As The gunman fired, Chuck Norris jumped in front of JFK and deflected the bullets with his beard, JFKs head exploded in sheer amazement.

 

[Iampringles]

Chuck Norris is so strong that he gave birth to himself.

 

[hamster mk 4]

The official website is here:
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

I think they are still funny

 

[szs0061]

chuck norris has no chin behind his beard is just another fist

 

[scatmanfan]

Chuck Norris can turn left and right at the same time.

 

[Amsay]

Chuck Norris once went back in time to save JFK. As The gunman fired, Chuck Norris jumped in front of JFK and deflected the bullets with his beard, JFKs head exploded in sheer amazement.

I lmao'd.

 

[Arrers]

Chuck Norris jokes are out of fashion, and very hit and miss. Jack Bauer jokes are where it's at!

 

[Pezzer]

When Chuck Norris does press-ups, he does not move away from Earth, the Earth moves away from him.

 

[I Max95]

i heard this on family guy

chuck norris has no chin under his beard only another fist

chuck norris refers to himself in fourth person

 

[CoverYourHead]

God said, "Let there be light". Chuck Norris said, "Okay".

 

[Pezzer]

Chuck Norris can be used as a disease barometer, if he's got flu, everyone else is dead already.

 

[Pezzer]

Chuck Norris has two speeds, walk and kill.

In a mildly related subject. In Soviet Russia, you do not go to toilet, toilet find YOU!!

 

[I Max95]

how could 5 replies hapen as i was writing mine or did i not scroll down all the way

 

[Nivag the Owl]

When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the puddle gets Chuck Norris'd.

That's so the best yet

 

[IHaveNoCoolness]

Chuck Norris' penis is so large, it has it's own penis, which is still larger than your penis.

 

[Irridium]

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.

Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass, he just stares at it and dares it to grow.

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger

Chuck Norris can find the needle in the haystack

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris's enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris can mix oil and vinigar, permanently.

Chuck Norris can hear silence.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.

I know more, but I'll just leave it at that for now

 

[jboking]

Old and unfunny meme is old and unfunny.

I got a good one:

Chuck Norris was never cool or funny.

The topic was quite clear in the title, if you don't like it then refrain from posting in the future.

Trolling isn't wanted or needed.

But is a very natural, and expected part of forum life. That's why we have mods. While these are not that funny, I do know a few.

Chuck Norris saw a deer in the forest with a broken leg. Chuck went over a fixed the deers leg with his pure awesome. As the deer stood up and began to gallop away Chuck stood up and snapped its neck just to prove that "chuck can giveth and chuck and taketh away."

 

[szs0061]

chuck norris dosnt read he just stares at books and demands they tell him whats inside

 

[Maileigh]

Nobody can divide by zero, except for Chuck Norris.

 

[szs0061]

chuck norris sleeps with a nightlight, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of chuck norris