Best Chuck Norris Jokes?

[Slayd74]

Chuck Norris counted to infinty twice while he slammed a revolving door and punched Bruce lee. I bet you didn't know he was a multi tasker

 

[Nivag the Owl]

I have to admit, although half these jokes are insanely funny, Bruce Lee was always way more awesome in every way.

 

[Pezzer]

When Chuck Norris goes shopping, he does not aquire things from shops, the shops management aquire things for him without asking, AND hand them to him personally.

 

[captainordo]

Why doesn't Chuck Norris run for president of the Universe.
He doesn't want to lose any power.

 

[Artemis923]

A bear once looked Chuck Norris the wrong way. The bear immediately began to eat itself so it would suffer a less painful death.

We didn't drop the A-Bomb on Japan. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

 

[theprinceofcamden]

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect4 in just 3 moves!

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Chuck Norris has the world's greatest poker face. It actually helped him win the 1984 World Poker Tournament despite only having a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a two of clubs, a seven of spades and a number four green card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris once won a staring contest against his own reflection.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

Before Chuck Norris was born, Numbchucks were called Numbbarrys. No one knows what happened to Barry.

Chuck Norris once saw this thread and roundhouse kicked his computer. The result was twenty more posts were created. Including this one.

Chuck Norris can take a horse to water AND make it drink.

 

[neuromasser]

Chuck Norris drinks milk from a dirty glass.

 

[WhatIfYou]

Chuck Norris won the game. (P.S. You just lost it.)

 

[Sewer Rat]

Chuck Norris once played a game of chicken with a brick wall, the wall died 2 days later in hospital.

 

[sms_117b]

They were going to add Chuck Norris' face to mount Rushmore, however they found that the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

When Chuck Norris was born the only person crying was the doctor. NOBODY spanks Chuck Norris.

 

[gh0ti]

Heh, wish people would be a bit more laid back about these things. Seriously, it's amazing how many people here seem personally offended by the idea of a Chuck Norris joke.

Also, "Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird."

 

[epicfailgamer]

wait. Wait. Wait. Chuck noris jokes funny since when?

 

[dontworryaboutit]

None of them.

 

[Christemo]

Some people check their closets for the bogeyman, the bogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris

i got that 1 on T-Shirt!!

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

[Christemo]

wait. Wait. Wait. Chuck noris jokes funny since when?

since Chuck Norris was Born.

 

[UpcountryGecko]

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

 

[pantallica95]

Chuck Norris has the world's greatest poker face. It actually helped him win the 1984 World Poker Tournament despite only having a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a two of clubs, a seven of spades and a number four green card from the game Uno.

This is the best ive seen^


Ghosts exist because Chuck Norris kills people faster than Death can process them.