Here's the scoop: Some friends and I are sitting down at lunch. A couple of 'em start flicking those almost-disgusting baby carrots at each other. A few seconds later, one flies by my head, only to return in the blink of an eye. I turn to see some girls sitting down the way, one in particular had a nasty expression.
Now, this is nothing strange on an average high school day, so I picked it up and jokingly asked in my best Bob Dylan impression, "Where's the love man? Why'd you throw this at me?" She looked at me with a most hateful grimace before shouting back, "Why don't you just shut the f*ck up?" Needless to say, I took some offense. "Why don't you make me," I replied in the playground fashion. Her rebuttal: "Well... you're ugly."
Here comes the best part. My arms fell to my sides before jumping back up out of pure rage as I turned ever so slightly back to my pals and loudly commanded, "Someone call animal control, there's a ***** on the loose!" She threw a lotion bottle at me, which we gave back instead of keeping it as a memento of such an epic lunch block.
