I think this is actually from TFLN...
"69 |D_O"
"wtf does that mean??"
"it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you f***ing some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently'."
There's also this gem from the Rants section of AG2 when that still existed...
Whats wrong with humanity?
"Ever had one of those days when you just wish that humanity would die? Normally I'm a happy person, but normally i don't have people being so rude and making me feel like a piece of dirt.
I was your normal happy teenager ((yeah i know teenager and happy don't go)) walking down the street, two people were stood on the path, chatting away. I reached them and couldn't get past, i said excuse me, and neither moved, didn't even look at me! Grrr! I had to walk back to get around the car parked next to me, and walk on the road, then two days ago the same thing happened, different people, different place. Then yesterday some stupid women who was looking where she was going rammed her shopping trolly into me!
Now my normal happy life is ruined and I'm a angry ranting teenager."-when_angels_fall
"I stubbed my toe today because someone was standing.
Every human should f****** die."-Tyler The Possessed
And then alsoalso, I have a quotes archive of things that were said around me, or contributed by people I know...
"Oh, you have a sister?"
"Yeah. Me and Vicki."
"Oh. So are you tight?"
"What?"
"Are. You. Tight."
"Oh. Um... Yes... I guess we're 'tight.'"
"Oh, okay. I have a bro."
"Yes."
"I HATE HIM."
"You do?"
"He's always smoking and getting high and bringing girls home and shit."
"Well, older brothers are like that."
"No, no, he's 13."
(Found among the Youtube comments.)
i am a HERON. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
"You know how on the literacy test, there was that picture of a guy cheering like this?-(cheerful hands)-and you had to write a newspaper article about it? I wrote about how he had just fulfilled his dream of kicking a baby all the way to space. His mother was crying because she was so proud."
"And they marked you right for that? Do you know?"
"Well, I passed. No censorship there!" [we got to this topic from talking about a kid who wrote his essay on rape and failed]
"You should have written about how many babies died for the cause."
("I think Lady Macbeth is really just a very good power-wife;" my role analysis for English class.)
"[Lady Macbeth] has decided to kill Duncan, whether Macbeth wants to or not. Notice that he comes home from war and simply says, "Hi, baby; Duncan's coming over, but he's leaving tomorrow," and she says, "Don't worry: I've got the knives." But that is what good power-wives do. They help their ambitious power-husbands murder their colleagues to climb up the corporate ladder.
Fluffy was my goldfish
A truly special friend.
One day he met Tom Dickson,
That jerk asked, "Will it blend?"
He said it with a smile,
As he plugged it in.
Fluffy's in a better place now,
Though I can't tell gill from fin.
"...For her Macbeth presentation, she set a piece of paper on fire, and scared the hell out of everyone, what with the wooden floors, and the old structure. Another student was worried that the sprinklers would go off, but don't worry: this school has no sprinklers." -My English teacher
"You know how in movies, the paper sort of burns slowly from the edges?"
"DAMN!"
Our Choir Conductor: Jeff, was that a swear word?
Jeff: No. Damn's not a swear word, is it?
Conductor: Yes it is.
"Well, it depends how you spell it. Jeff spells it with a silent "B."
"Someone drew a punk on my desk, so I made him emo and an Orthodox Jew."
"The only thing that doesn't seem plausible to me-well, other than the whole vampires thing-is that, when he's asking Bella to guess what he is and she's all like, 'uhhhh, I dunno, Batman? Spiderman? Vampire?' Edward, the master of disguise, just goes, '...damn, you got me'."
"Sleep is for the weak! Narcolepsy is for the broken!"
(My cellphone keeps shutting off so I can't tell the time)
"Just get a nice watch..."
"I don't need a watch. I have a cellphone."
"Hah, that's just like that other time: 'I don't need a calculator, I have a computer.'"
"But I don't need a computer, I converted my dog to a typewriter. And I don't need internet either, 'cause I'm psychic."
"I don't need a car. I have a secret identity."
"Target achieved so far: 75% (right leg broken, left leg broken, right hand defective. All I need to do now is wreck the left hand and then 100% of my extremities will be out of order.)" -Shostakovitch
