Bi The Way

[DarklordKyo]

I've felt that I might be bi for a while now (or at least bicurious). The thing is, I've found some dudes appealing, but plenty of straight dudes have mancrushes due to GAR factor (on top of the fact that I've never been in a relationship with another dude). I know I'm not gay because I've been genuinely attracted to women (and am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend Ashley). Point is, how do I know if I'm straight, bi, or somewhere inbetween?

TL;DR If I think I might be bi, am I bi?

 

[Zak757]

Why does there need to be some arbitrary line that seperates people into one of three sexualities?

EDIT: for the record, everyone is "somewhere in between." It's a sliding scale.

 

[EeveeElectro]

How old are you? Younger people sometimes question their sexuality because of all their hormones flying around at that age.

I'll tell you though, if you have to ask yourself "Am I bisexual?" then no, you aren't. You lean more towards bi-curious.

If you were bisexual you would think "I fancy both men AND women, no doubt about it."

EDIT: To clarify (yay 1am posting) yes, questioning your bisexuality is normal, even I myself have doubts but asking "Am I bisexual?" rather than "Am I sure I'm bisexual?" is rather different. Aforementioned is questioning your heterosexuality, the former is doubting or questioning your realisation.
It is good to question yourself sometimes rather than realise you are actually straight but still label yourself as bisexual.

There's a difference between finding someone attractive and fancying them/being sexually attracted to them.

Imagine you're single and a guy comes on to you, how would you feel? Would you run away or go for it? Until you're in such a situation I suppose you'll never truly know but there's just a bit of food for thought for you.

Try not think too much of it right now. Just take it easy, don't worry about it and do what comes naturally.

It's taken me a while to accept the fact I like both genders. There was a huge trend in my friends a few years ago when they were calling themselves bisexual and now they claim to be straight so I didn't want to be seen as someone like that but it's honestly not a big deal unless you make one out of it.

 

[DarklordKyo]

How old are you? Younger people sometimes question their sexuality because of all their hormones flying around at that age.

I'll tell you though, if you have to ask yourself "Am I bisexual?" then no, you aren't. You lean more towards bi-curious.

If you were bisexual you would think "I fancy both men AND women, no doubt about it."

There's a difference between finding someone attractive and fancying them/being sexually attracted to them.

Imagine you're single and a guy comes on to you, how would you feel? Would you run away or go for it? Until you're in such a situation I suppose you'll never truly know but there's just a bit of food for thought for you.

Try not think too much of it right now. Just take it easy, don't worry about it and do what comes naturally.

It's taken me a while to accept the fact I like both genders. There was a huge trend in my friends a few years ago when they were calling themselves bisexual and now they claim to be straight so I didn't want to be seen as someone like that but it's honestly not a big deal unless you make one out of it.

I'm 21, turning 22 in January.

 

[DarklordKyo]

i want you to think very carefully about this question: does the answer to your question actually matter if you are in a happy relationship with Ashley ?

common sense would seem to suggest the answer to that would be "no".

we can't give you the answer you want.

only your life can do that.

[small]and trust me its probably going to take a good while before you figure out all the boundaries you prefer even if you are "straight"...[/small]

so get busy living and lay off the internet navel-gazing.

you have someone in your life atm...that's more than many...enjoy it unfettered by as many cares as you can.

you can always come back to mulling over this question you have if and when you're single again.

I know it doesn't matter considering my current relationship status, just curious generally.

 

[Silvanus]

I'll tell you though, if you have to ask yourself "Am I bisexual?" then no, you aren't. You lean more towards bi-curious.

If you were bisexual you would think "I fancy both men AND women, no doubt about it."

Not necessarily true.

I have no doubts now, but that wasn't always so. For a while, I was asking myself that question, and the answer turned out to be, "yes"-- but I wasn't certain right away.


CAPTCHA: "Too many secrets". Eerily appropriate.

 

[Abomination]

I take it you're a fella...

Would you suck a dick? Would you enjoy it?
Would you let a guy suck your dick? Would you enjoy it? Would him being a dude reduce this enjoyment for you?

Now go find out how you feel after an encounter. That's really the only way to know.

Approach her on the matter, if you've got a healthy relationship she'll likely at least listen to your opinion as to your own sexuality.

Think she'd be open to a bedroom experiment? If not, I guess that's fine too.

I suppose it doesn't matter one lick until you're single.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Kinsey tells us we're all a little bisexual, nobody's 100% straight or gay. It's entirely up to you to figure out just how much of anything you are.

 

[JoJo]

I'll tell you though, if you have to ask yourself "Am I bisexual?" then no, you aren't. You lean more towards bi-curious.

If you were bisexual you would think "I fancy both men AND women, no doubt about it."

I disagree, I was uncertain whether I was hetero or bi for years and only became sure I was bisexual after I fell in love with another male. It's easy in this heteronomative society just to assume you're straight by default even if you sometimes fantasise about people of the same gender, until someone comes along that forces you to reconsider that.

OT: Could you fall in love with another man? Would you have sex with one? Those are pertinent questions and if the answer is yes, you're probably bisexual.

 

[ShipofFools]

Masturbate to hetero sex, masturbate to gay sex, if you feel no or little difference then all is well, right?

 

[SillyBear]

Kinsey tells us we're all a little bisexual, nobody's 100% straight or gay. It's entirely up to you to figure out just how much of anything you are.

That's just as stupid as saying no one is gay.

I am in my mid twenties. I have never once, in my entire life, felt a sexual thought about a female. Not once. I am being completely honest here. This is why I can't swallow the idea that no one is 100% straight. I feel I am.

Sexuality is incredibly vast. Some people are completely asexual. Some people are completely gay, straight, whatever. Some people lie in the middle. Some people are straight but have, at times, been turned on by the thought of their own gender. There are no rules that say "it is impossible to be X or Y".

 

[TIMESWORDSMAN]

I'm bi. I only admitted it to myself about a month ago, as I'd been avoiding it since I started being attracted to men around age 14. I told my mom, I was like "Hey, I'm pretty sure I'm bi. You okay with that?" and she was like "Yeah. Don't get VD."
My mom is awesome.

Masturbate to hetero sex, masturbate to gay sex, if you feel no or little difference then all is well, right?

In a perfect world, ShipofFools. In a perfect world.

 

[EeveeElectro]

-snip-

-snip-

If you are questioning being bisexual, then surely you're bi-curious. I think if you're not absolutely sure you definitely shouldn't identify yourself as bi. Of course anyone can have little niggling doubts but asking "Am I actually bi?" rather than, "Am I sure I'm bi?" to me, suggests bi-curious. Only you yourself can decide if you like both genders.
Realising you are and questioning it occasionally (I do too sometimes) is different to being unsure between heterosexuality and bisexuality.

Of course plenty of people are curious or confused until they realise or come to terms with their sexuality. The way the OP is worded, he sounds curious. Sometimes it takes a while for people to say with confidence that they are bisexual, if you can't at least tell people with confidence, then I would regard you as curious, or you just need to work on your confidence with telling people. Also it didn't take me falling in love with a woman to realise, but I know how much people can differ emotionally.

Gah, I've never typed 'bi' out so much before ;~;

 

[ShipofFools]

I'm bi. I only admitted it to myself about a month ago, as I'd been avoiding it since I started being attracted to men around age 14. I told my mom, I was like "Hey, I'm pretty sure I'm bi. You okay with that?" and she was like "Yeah. Don't get VD."
My mom is awesome.

Masturbate to hetero sex, masturbate to gay sex, if you feel no or little difference then all is well, right?

In a perfect world, ShipofFools. In a perfect world.

Your mom sounds awesome.
And a perfect world is only the difference between fear and love, if you ask me.

Experimenting with porn is how I discovered that I kinda like guys, but really love women. That's why I know!
As others have said it, better then I can put it: sexuality is a spectrum, not a category.

 

[SpAc3man]

Sexuality is absolutely a spectrum of sorts that ranges from raging hetero to 100% homo. A bit like how leather and latex does it for some people while others get off with ribbons and lace and then there are people that are anywhere between the two. Sexual preferences are a huge palette of colours and shades.

From the sounds of it you are more on the hetero side of the spectrum but not so far that you are afraid of any homosexual tendencies you may have.

 

[Silvanus]

If you are questioning being bisexual, then surely you're bi-curious. I think if you're not absolutely sure you definitely shouldn't identify yourself as bi. Of course anyone can have little niggling doubts but asking "Am I actually bi?" rather than, "Am I sure I'm bi?" to me, suggests bi-curious. Only you yourself can decide if you like both genders.
Realising you are and questioning it occasionally (I do too sometimes) is different to being unsure between heterosexuality and bisexuality.

But I'm not questioning any more. I'm certain now, but that wasn't always so.


It wouldn't really have been accurate or helpful advice to tell me, back when I wasn't sure, that I couldn't be bi.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Kinsey tells us we're all a little bisexual, nobody's 100% straight or gay. It's entirely up to you to figure out just how much of anything you are.

That's just as stupid as saying no one is gay.

I am in my mid twenties. I have never once, in my entire life, felt a sexual thought about a female. Not once. I am being completely honest here. This is why I can't swallow the idea that no one is 100% straight. I feel I am.

Sexuality is incredibly vast. Some people are completely asexual. Some people are completely gay, straight, whatever. Some people lie in the middle. Some people are straight but have, at times, been turned on by the thought of their own gender. There are no rules that say "it is impossible to be X or Y".

I haven't had sexual thoughts about a male either, but I'm ready to believe that we all have bisexual tendencies, however deeply rooted. To say someone is straight or gay is really just a way of saying you're mostly one thing or another. Even in the Kinsey Scale, exclusive heterosexuality and homosexuality aren't 100%.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

I mean I'd think it would be a pretty easy test to run yourself. Pull up a video of some dudes barebackin' it (or doing whatever you're into watching girls or a man-women pair do) and see if it does anything for you. That's how I would test it if I was questioning my sexuality.

 

[Senare]

First you have to decide what "bisexual" actually means. I will answer using my own definition.

To me being bisexual means the ability to feel sexual attraction towards both sexes. In plainer terms, you can get attracted in a "horny" way to both males and females of your species.
Other forms of attraction do not necessarily cut it for my definition of the word, since being attracted is synonymous to "being drawn towards". You can be drawn towards a friend because that friend is funny, which would not cut it. You may be able to judge someone as cute without feeling sexual attraction towards them. You can love someone without sexual attraction either. And finally you can have sex without feeling sexual attraction to the one you are having sex with. (So no, if you are male then sucking dicks does not necessarily count as you being bisexual.)

As other posters have mentioned sexuality is a bit of a sliding scale. Also worth noting is that sexuality might be a thing that can change over time.