Bi The Way

[Bara_no_Hime]

I've felt that I might be bi for a while now (or at least bicurious). The thing is, I've found some dudes appealing, but plenty of straight dudes have mancrushes due to GAR factor (on top of the fact that I've never been in a relationship with another dude). I know I'm not gay because I've been genuinely attracted to women (and am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend Ashley). Point is, how do I know if I'm straight, bi, or somewhere inbetween?

TL;DR If I think I might be bi, am I bi?

First off, bisexual is not a static sexuality. It is anything and everything between full Straight and full Gay. You can be bisexual leaning either direction, bisexual in the center, or any other kind of bisexual that describes how you feel.

As to your main question... I will quote Erika Moen:

"There is no test, no threshold, no status quo you have to meet to identify as your sexuality. You are the ONE PERSON who knows truly and can accurately name your sexual identity. Nobody else." - Erika Moen

So yeah. Only you can prevent forest fires... or define your own sexuality. We can help with the definition of some existing terms (although plenty of people disagree about those definitions) but the only one who can choose that label is you.

 

[Bluestorm83]

There aren't really any multiple sexualities. By default, unless you are androgynous, you're biologically heterosexual. As to who or what you're attracted to, that's just you. So, what does it really matter? You're happy with your girlfriend, why do you need to label anything?

 

[The Funslinger]

It's taken me a while to accept the fact I like both genders. There was a huge trend in my friends a few years ago when they were calling themselves bisexual and now they claim to be straight so I didn't want to be seen as someone like that but it's honestly not a big deal unless you make one out of it.

Reminds me of a fake Yahoo Answers thing I saw that was basically a bit of a social commentary that was basically this girl saying "I'm 13 and bi, but I'd never kiss a girl, that's gross!"

Always good for a giggle.

OP: If a guy comes onto you, and you're not put off by the prospect, by all means go for it. It could be for you. Good luck.

 

[Something Amyss]

There's no simple answer. Now, to deal with some simple "answers"

I'll tell you though, if you have to ask yourself "Am I bisexual?" then no, you aren't. You lean more towards bi-curious.

If you were bisexual you would think "I fancy both men AND women, no doubt about it."

People often wonder about their sexuality before they figure it out, but there's no one conclusion here. "bi-curious" tends to be a slot people use to dismiss bisexuals in the first place.

It's a sliding scale.

Most people acknowledge there's "exclusively homosexual and "exclusively heterosexual." Yeah, there's a scale. Whatever scale you're using, it shouldn't preclude the extremes.

Masturbate to hetero sex, masturbate to gay sex, if you feel no or little difference then all is well, right?

Well, except most bisexuals aren't split down the middle. I prefer women. Doesn't mean there aren't guys I wouldn't fuck the hell out of.

More importantly would be "if you feel okay with both, then who are we to complain?"

By default, unless you are androgynous, you're biologically heterosexual.

...wot.

 

[nightmare_gorilla]

I've never defined sexuality that way, no teams, no sides, no right or wrong. no one has the high ground when it comes to sex right everyone is into something someone would find mundane and yet someone else would find obscene. at the end of the day it boils down to what gnarffles your garthax. there are guys out there would wouldn't touch another man for any reason yet can't think of anything sexier than having a girl put on a strap on and working over his backdoor. there's guys out there who don't care one way or the other as long as they are getting head from somebody. you don't need a label to know what you like, those exist so other people can know what you like, other people who most likely are not the ones wanting to sleep with you. just be honest with who you're with about what turns you on and what doesn't turn you on. oh and most importantly, have fun.

 

[Battenberg]

I know I'm not gay because I've been genuinely attracted to women (and am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend Ashley). Point is, how do I know if I'm straight, bi, or somewhere inbetween?

If you're already in a happy relationship why do you need to define your sexuality all of a sudden?

 

[Miyenne]

I don't even know why we classify these things. You can't help who you're attracted to.

Generally I find you're (you being a generalised everyone) attracted to one type of person. Gender, race, hair colour, personality quirks, someone who shares the same favourite type of pizza you do. Whatever.

And then someone that doesn't fit your type at all appears and it's an instance 'Zing!' (to steal from Hotel Transylvania) thing. It just happens, you have no control over it. There's nothing wrong with it.

Generally, I like guys. Usually I prefer white men with blue eyes; hair colour isn't a factor. Wide shoulders, lean to a bit bigger, but not huge and not skinny. Tall. I love confidence. I also have a huge crush on the Old Spice guy. Cause he's damn fine. I've been attracted to all races and types despite my preferences. And then there's that girl from my math lecture back in university. I wanted to jump her for some strange reason. She just had it, whatever 'it' is for me. And Charlize Theron. But I think even the 'straightest' woman or the 'gayest' man would have at her if given half a chance.

It's just a thing that happens. Don't worry about it. You're perfectly normal.

 

[Belaam]

There is a reasonably common view that sexuality is a spectrum. Date people you enjoy being with who treat you well. Problem solved.

 

[Olas]

I've felt that I might be bi for a while now (or at least bicurious). The thing is, I've found some dudes appealing, but plenty of straight dudes have mancrushes due to GAR factor (on top of the fact that I've never been in a relationship with another dude). I know I'm not gay because I've been genuinely attracted to women (and am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend Ashley). Point is, how do I know if I'm straight, bi, or somewhere inbetween?

Take a protractor and measure the angle of your penis while watching regular porn, then divide that by the angle of your penis while watching gay porn. Then multiply that by the square root of the circumference of your biceps while fully flexed (in cm) Square that, then subtract the number of men you've had sex with. If you get a number less than 3, congratulations, YOUR GAY!

Is that what you wanted? Sorry it doesn't really work that way.

The best advice I can give is to not jump to conclusions, I'm pretty sure there's a large difference between having a "mancrush" and being sexually attracted to men.

 

[Doclector]

Well, I don't know. But if you are bi, it's perfectly normal, and certainly not, as some religious organisations would say, "evil".

But that pun in the title, now that, is evil.

You go to hell.

You go to hell and you die.

(DISCLAIMER;TOTALLYNOTSERIOUSDONTGOTOHELLDONTDIE)

 

[TheDoctor455]

Why does there need to be some arbitrary line that seperates people into one of three sexualities?

EDIT: for the record, everyone is "somewhere in between." It's a sliding scale.

I'm not.

I'm asexual.

 

[Souplex]

Try "Working it" to some gay porn.
Try "Working it" to some straight porn.
Compare results.
If data is insufficient; repeat.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

If you're already in a happy relationship then why should it matter?

 

[Saltyk]

Well, I think there is an easy way to say for sure. When you say that you find some men attractive, what do you mean?

Is it like: Hey, that guy is good looking. I could see how people could fall for him.
Or more like: Hey, that guy is good looking. I could [leave the rest to your perverted imagination].

If the former, it's entirely possibly that you are 100% straight. I think plenty of straight men who are comfortable in their sexuality can admit when another man looks attractive. But if you want to do sexual things with that man, you are bi or bi-curious.

First off, bisexual is not a static sexuality. It is anything and everything between full Straight and full Gay. You can be bisexual leaning either direction, bisexual in the center, or any other kind of bisexual that describes how you feel.

As to your main question... I will quote Erika Moen:

"There is no test, no threshold, no status quo you have to meet to identify as your sexuality. You are the ONE PERSON who knows truly and can accurately name your sexual identity. Nobody else." - Erika Moen

So yeah. Only you can prevent forest fires... or define your own sexuality. We can help with the definition of some existing terms (although plenty of people disagree about those definitions) but the only one who can choose that label is you.

I can agree with this. I have a family member who is Bi. But she also admitted that she's more attracted to men. As she says, it's like 60/40 for her. So, I wouldn't be surprised that others would feel the same way.

 

[POSTEVERYTHING]

As others have pointed out bi covers a whole spectrum of attraction. Ultimately you are bi if you feel the term conveys your sexuality. I use it to describe myself because I'm equally attracted to both genders. I have a friend who considers himself bi because he is attracted to some guys, but at the moment he's only interested in relationships with girls. I have a friend who is attracted to some guys but knows she wouldn't ever actually date them so she just considers herself a lesbian. Whatever you're most comfortable with OP.

 

[chiggerwood]

for the record, everyone is "somewhere in between." It's a sliding scale.

I really hate this sentiment. Not everyone's somewhere in between. I personally am an ace, I know this because I've tried to be turned on buy women and that didn't work, so I tried to be turned on by men and that didn't work. I have fully explored my sexuality only for the journey to end in an anti-climax. The "Everyone's bi" sentiment is seriously one of the most insulting things out there, because you are dictating to people how they feel. Please stop it.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

Try "Working it" to some gay porn.
Try "Working it" to some straight porn.
Compare results.
If data is insufficient; repeat.

Would call this test a... faptitude test?

 

[Hap2]

My advice: don't think about it too much. Overthinking about who you're attracted to won't get you any answers, just go with the flow. People can be notoriously bad at knowing what or who they are attracted to.