Big Decision to Make, Need Help Deciding

[soren7550]

This morning, an old family friend died. His memorial service will be next Saturday (if I remember right). However, one of the people who will be attending is my mother, whom my relationship with her is utterly dismal (we're not talking due to the fact that because of her, I wasn't able to get into two schools and lost my chance at a job, she threw me into a crazy hospital, where I was stuck for two and a half weeks, and she told my social worker that she'd rather see me out on the street than come back home, thus forcing me to find a new place to live, fast [I almost ended up in a shelter]). She's the reason I didn't attend my niece's birthday party and thus wasn't planing on going to the memorial.
However, my oldest brother is urging me to go for the deceased and his family, and to simply do my best to ignore her.

I don't know what I should do. I utterly hate that woman, but I also do feel that I should go for the family. I have to decide by Friday, so can you guys help?

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Since I don't know the entire situation. I suggest going just to show your respect, but sitting/standing as far away from her as possible.

If theres a gathering after the service, either continue keeping distance or bolt, depending on how uncomfortable you feel with her nearby.
If you leave, I'm sure people will understand your reasons.

What ever you choose to do, good luck

 

[Talshere]

If this person was close to you you should go.

Will you regret it if you miss it? Thats the main question.

If the answer is yes then by not going you are allowing your mother to control your actions. In all thing you should do what you feel it right.

 

[Andy Shandy]

If you were reasonably close to this family friend then go, as you'll likely regret it if you don't, but make sure you stay away from your mother. Hopefully, whatever you decide on, it'll work out.

 

[Logiclul]

She WHAT?

My condolences go out for you for having to bear the cross of her association.

Do you drive? Just go there, and if things get out of hand, pay your final respects and leave.

 

[Soviet Steve]

If you can manage to be in the same room as her without turning violent I would say it is in your best interest to go, otherwise tell your brother to convey your sympathy for the family and pain at the departure of the dead fellow.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

Attend the service out of respect for the memory of your family friend's life, and to show that crazy ***** you don't fear her.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I wouldn't bother personally, but if your family is pushing you and you care about them you may as well go. Funerals are usually over in half an hour. Is it really likely that lady will approach you?

 

[Jedamethis]

Go for it. She wouldn't dare start anything at a funeral would she? Just try not to notice her.

 

[The Last Nomad]

Depends on how close this person was. But I'd probably avoid it, I'm not one for funerals anyway...

 

[Dystopia]

I'm reserving judgement on your mother since we don't know the full story. If you were close to the deceased, go to the funeral and don't hang around after. There shouldn't really be an opportunity for either of you to start an argument during a funeral service.

 

[Zen Toombs]

-snip-

I agree with a lot of what's been said above me: if you would regret not going, then you should go. But make sure that you have access to a ride so that if there's a problem you can pay your final respects and get out of there.

 

[Monkeyman O'Brien]

Dude. Fuck the *****. You are there to pay your last respects to your friend. So go, say goodbye to your friend, be there for his family and just put aside your own petty issues until after.
And if the woman who gave birth to you opens her worthless mouth in your direction then wait until after the service is finished then drive your fist right into it.

 

[SuperSuperSuperGuy]

Go, if only because of your respect for the deceased and his family. Avoid your mother like the plague. Don't pay any attention to her and if she decides to make a scene, remind her that you're at a funeral. Don't do anything to set her off, and don't say anything unnecessary to her. Don't be rude, but don't be friendly, either. Don't instigate a fight; be the better person.

If you can't bear to be there with her any longer, let the hosts know that you need to leave early. It's better to avoid fighting at a funeral and the fact that you showed up instead of not even trying says that you're willing to risk spending time with someone you hate for your family friend's sake.

 

[Rinji]

Attend the service out of respect for the memory of your family friend's life, and to show that crazy ***** you don't fear her.

These were exactly my thoughts. If this family friend was close to you, you should go. Don't give a fuck that the person that tried to ruin your life is there, she can't do shit to you now. Just don't speak to her, you don't want this funeral to become a memory of two people having a fight, but of a lot of people paying respects for a person who passed away.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I would say you attend the funeral but keep an eye out for her (to keep your distance) but not in a paranoid state.

 

[Serperoth]

Go, like a total boss. If she has a problem with you, she can get a straw and suck it up. Don't talk to her unless she starts shit, and if she does, you're on the moral high ground, ignore her.