Bisexuals: The Outcasts of Outcasts.

[michiehoward]

When I was just entering puberty, I noticed (I could have had dreams like this before, but couldn't remember) that the most of the sexual nature, were with women, quite confusing for the budding sexual creature I was becoming. Anyway I turn 13 and puberty hits you, my dreams became more 50/50. From 13 to when I lost my virginity, I thought I was seriously conflicted.

Then I realized it wasn't in my dreams that really counted, it was, who was I physically and sexually attracted to in the light of day. So there ended my "bi-curious/bi/I am gay" identity crisis.

I guess the answers those jerks want are
Are you sexually and physically attracted to both sexes honestly
Could you find companionship with both males and females
They just go about it the asshole way

 

[Limie]

I've been told not to go looking for relationships because it's not fair on the other person, because of the way I am.

This is something that plays on my mind a lot. Being one of those asexuals that can "get some".
I have told three people in my life about my asexuality and none of those people actually understand what sexuality is. They seem to think that I'm living in denial. I don't talk to those people very much any more. I don't know any people who are asexual or who avow to being as such and so thank you for sharing your experiences.
On topic. Another possible reason for the "unwanted" feeling that pervades LGBT gatherings may be that Homosexual people may go there to talk about their experiences with other homosexuals. This could be the only time they have to talk about these experiences in an open and unjudgemental environment and so bi-sexuals get neglected.
This is just a suggestion of a possbile contributintg factor to the unwanted feeling. I realise that there are people that are pillocks that have predjudices against bi-sexuals, I also do not advocate this behaviour.

 

[Robert Ewing]

Really? Bisexuals seem to have it easy over here in Britain.

Homosexuality is becoming more accepted, but bisexuality is almost seen as an extremely common thing to be. I actually think bisexuality is an awesome sexuality to be. Finding both male and females attractive must be quite an experience.

Sure there aren't many rallies, or movements in there name. But why should there be? They can switch between straight and gay instantaneously if pushed. They don't have to put up with the same harsh criticisms homosexuals get, despite potentially laying with the same sex, but they also blend in with straight communities, because they lay with the opposite sex.

All is well!

 

[Antitonic]

Spoiler: Snip

Asexual people have it just as bad, what with all the "they don't actually exist", and "they just say that because they can't get any" stuff that gets thrown around.

I hadn't actually considered Asexual people. That is a wonderful point and a great note of a much overlooked minority. I'm sure there are some out there who actively identify as asexual, and could, in fact, get some.

I'll put my hand up and say I'm one of those people who could get some if I wanted it. Being asexual isn't repulsive and it doesn't mean that the person is automatically uptight, or ugly, or a hipster.

Spoiler: Some little background on my own experiences with asexuality.

I've told very few people about my orientation because no one can deal with it, even my liberal parents. It makes them uncomfortable and awkward if I ever bring it up. I made a joke once about how I didn't want to sleep with Hugh Jackman and the look that they gave me made me feel like I'd told a Holocaust joke.

The only friends of mine I told were an arts student, a bisexual and a biker friend of mine, the kind of people used to stereotypes and prejudice or just being demeaned, but I didn't get any support from them. It was like I'd just told them I wasn't human.

They told me I'll live my life alone. I've been told I'll never be able to have a meaningful relationship with people because I'm not right. I've been told not to go looking for relationships because it's not fair on the other person, because of the way I am. I've been told I should cure myself by 'sleeping with people until my sex drive comes back'.

What I've found is that whilst being asexual is very liberating because I'm not alone, there are other people like me that I can talk to on the internet, my real life is full of people who either do, or would look at me like I'm a robot if I said anything.

I couldn't imagine going to a rally about different sexualities. If bisexuals get left out for being different to homosexuals, where the hell would that leave someone like me?

Oh, this sounds familiar. Every other day I get my mother insisting it's "just a phase" and that as soon as I meet "the right person", I'll "come to my senses".

And, being alone doesn't mean you're lonely. It just means less money spent on dates.

 

[Galletea]

I think it's an issue that has long been ignored, partly because bisexuality, and also asexuality seems to form a grey area between one or the other and as people have mentioned, sexuality is one of those things that people seem to prefer as black and white, one thing or another, and that means they can't fully identify with them.

A lot of bisexuality is easily dismissed as teens experimenting, finding out what they want rather than actually being bisexual, girls are especially fond of doing this, it gets the attention they want. This does unfortunately lead to bisexuality as a whole being somewhat ignored, and to add to this I think that homosexual groups sometimes feel that they have it easy, since it is easier to keep quiet about generally, as bisexuals can to a degree identify with both 'sides'. I know this isn't fair, but it does seem to be what happens.

 

[Something Amyss]

I could understand if it was just a few stupid fucks that stereotyped and treated bisexuals poorly, but it is a pretty prevalent issue. When it is not explicitly stated that straight-dating bisexuals aren't welcome, it is implied heavily. I find that to be among the worst, most hypocritical things I've ever seen.

Welcome to the human race, my friend. I'd like to say it gets better, but really, it doesn't.

Hell, it's not just bisexuals. A lot of GBLT groups tend to disparage the transgender community. This is why there's the phrase "The 'T' is not silent." I've heard gays on this site use the "it's all in your head" line on transfolk. Hey, nothing like using the same lines used against you on others!

And that slight deviation of topic is kind of my point, on-topic as well. People have a tendency to pass on misery. You see a lot of bigotry and hate from people who really should have learned from experience that what they're doing is wrong (and often, hypocritical). It's hard to break that cycle.

Not impossible, mind, just hard.

 

[geK0]

i think its probably something like agnostics, both belivers and atheists hate agnostics as there seen as "fence sitters" or they "have a foot in each camp" which isnt really seen as a good thing in these kinds of "us vs them" debates

LOL in a lot of these debates I get people telling me that I'm actually religious or that I'm actually an atheist.... kind of annoying really : \

OT:


Never witnessed this myself; I guess I can sort of see where they're coming from, the Bis probably seem like posers to them : \ Not to say that it's right to dismiss them, I can just understand the thought process behind it.

Seems like half the problem to me is that people (not just gays) love to play the victim card, and aren't willing to acknowledge people who are 'less of a victim' than they are."We had to fight so hard for our freedom and you never needed to fight" *rabble rabble*

 

[ShadowKatt]

I'd even venture to say that Trans people are also in the same boat as Bi-sexuals. I know quite a bit of gay and lesbian people (living next to SF makes that much easier) that for god knows what reason don't like bisexual people or trans people. Then my trans friends feel completely left out, as do my bisexual friends.

It's something that I don't quite get, but I suppose it's how some groups don't like all components of said group.

Regardless of reason, I think it's stupid to hate someone who is bisexual based on that alone. But then again, this is my philosophy for hating anyone...

You don't need to venture, I know that trans people are at least as bad off if not moreso. I've been on the recieving end of that several times and seen it happen to others. Introduce a MtF trans person to a lesbian and watch the vitriol towards the "imposter", the "fake woman" or worse yet the "hornball man liar just trying to get some with a lesbian". It's no better the other way around, introducing a FtM trans person to a gay and having them utterly reduced to nothing for not being born with a y chromosome.

 

[Doclector]

I could understand that some people do pretend to be bisexual, but I don't believe they do it for the reasons people think of.

LGBT groups have a kind of "us freaks have to stick together" comradeship. You'd have to have geniunely been alone for a good few years to understand it, but I often toyed with the idea of turning up to my colleges group claiming to be Bi or just curious, just to get in on it. You'd be surprised how much you might lie just to fit in with something.

Of course, there are geniune bisexuals. I mean, it makes logical sense. Why limit your chances of meeting the mythical "one" to a single sex? So, I guess I understand both sides of the debate. It's times like this I wish it would be possible to somehow set up "outcast" groups for people who didn't fit in anywhere, gay, straight, bi, ugly people, nerds, mentally disturbed, people who don't have a space in society, without just attracting a bunch of hipsters. It would help so much for people to have somewhere they could find out who exactly they are without fear of persecution or exile once they find out.

 

[iLazy]

I've never really had any back-lash about my sexuality (bisexual) because I don't care and people in my town don't seem to care either, but I know of the back-lash. It's not fair. I get it, there are some people who say their bi to get attention or to seem hotter, and that casts a stereotype on bisexuality.

I guess since we, as a society, are starting to accept gays we have to find new people to hate. And guess who the torch gets passed too. Bisexuals and asexuals. Whatever, I'll carry the damn boulder for a bit.

But being a bi, I can honestly say this. I'm not doing it for attention. In fact, for years I hid the fact that I occasionally looked at other girls in a way that was not "God I hate that *****!" or "Holy shit that's a nice top!". It honestly confused me. I knew that I wasn't a lesbian, because I still had a strong attraction to guys, but at that point I never even heard of bisexual! I thought I was a freak.

But then I heard the term bisexual, and it was kind of cleared up but I still was scared. I had that thought in my head that you were either homosexual or heterosexual, there was no in between. It wasn't until high school when I kind of dated (uggh, high school romances) this girl that I was sure of who I was. I was bi. I'm attracted to both males and females. If people want to hate me because I'm bi, then go ahead. I can take it. I know who I am, and I'm happy.

/end chapter of my life.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Bisexual here! I've never faced discrimination from any gays, but then, I don't know any. However, I'm also Otherkin, and the OK community does something similar to so called "god-kin" or "otaku-kin". And then there is the minority of those who limit their spiritual selves to "real" animals, but stereotypically think of themselves superior to those who believe their spiritual selves to be mythological species.

Otherkin? Never heard of that before, would you mind enlightening me?

Anyway, is it possible to be bi but not like gay sex? I'm attracted to guys and girls (leaning towards girls though) but don't like oral or anal sex. Speaking as a virgin though, the concept doesn't excite me.

 

[jboking]

Anyway, is it possible to be bi but not like gay sex? I'm attracted to guys and girls (leaning towards girls though) but don't like oral or anal sex. Speaking as a virgin though, the concept doesn't excite me.

Well, by definition, no. That is not possible. You are supposed to be sexually attracted to both men and women. If you find the image of a man appealing, but not sexually appealing, you are not bi. I'm not officially studied on the issue, though, so someone else might have a better answer for you.

 

[ABAP]

Have to agree with the previous post, but I suppose it depends on the degree of attraction. In some of my classes this semester, there's a girl I find kinda cute--she's smart and pretty and all that stuff. I wouldn't mind hanging out with her. If that makes me bi, despite the fact that the thought doing anything sexual with her (or any other girl, for that matter) is a turn off, then that's news to me.

I think everyone is capable of being attracted to members of both sexes to some extent; I don't think that makes everyone bi, regardless of whatever the Kinsey scale concept implies. For all intents and purposes, it's probably safe to say you're straight.

 

[Cheery Lunatic]

The main stigma about Bi's from where i live is that they're only "Bi" for the attention.

Same.

Except instead of it being teenage girls, it's just as often hipster guys who do it to look "sensitive" and "mature".

I have met a few legit bisexuals though.

 

[Images]

Let me make this clear, Bisexuality is real.

HOWEVER, I have met (and dated) several peeps who loudly shout their bisexuality from the rooftops but clearly play for one side. They do it for cult cred, to appear more attractive or just to be seen as different. This especially happens with hipsters I've known who just say it all the time without anything to show for it. I'm not saying everyone's a faker or that I needed their entire sexual history on file but saying it for attention has become a cliche and that's only because it happens. I'm not surprised you were treated the way you were OP and I'm sorry but each group, even if they've been persecuted finds a smaller group within that group to persecute. Bisexuals just seem to have been left holding the bag.

On another note, as an equal rights advocate I've always found LGBT societies a bit of an odd cookie as societies go. Sorry to sound like a dead horse flogger but the concept has exclusivity written all over it. If it was a gay society, a lesbian society that's one group but as it stands they are an "everyone but the straight folks" society. Always found that a bit odd. Same with Gay Pride Parades. Always thought they should be called Sexual Freedom Parades to allow everyone to celebrate their beliefs on sex, gay, straight, furry, whatever.

 

[ABAP]

On another note, as an equal rights advocate I've always found LGBT societies a bit of an odd cookie as societies go. Sorry to sound like a dead horse flogger but the concept has exclusivity written all over it. If it was a gay society, a lesbian society that's one group but as it stands they are an "everyone but the straight folks" society. Always found that a bit odd. Same with Gay Pride Parades. Always thought they should be called Sexual Freedom Parades to allow everyone to celebrate their beliefs on sex, gay, straight, furry, whatever.

The "LGBT societies" of most schools are called "Gay-Straight Alliances." There's nothing really exclusive about them. An example of where the term LGBT might be used appropriately is in the "LGBT rights movement," because straight people aren't an oppressed sexual minority. Furthermore, renaming gay pride parades to sexual freedom parades would dilute the message, because the rights of furries aren't really a major concern of anyone right now, I think.

In recruiting, both of the GSAs I've joined have stressed the fact that you don't need to be gay to join. The president of my high school's GSA my senior year, the only year in which I was involved, was a dude in a long-term heterosexual relationship. The president of my college's GSA is a straight girl.

I don't know what everyone else's experience has been, but most of the LGBT societies I've known have been inclusive of straight people.

 

[GoaThief]

Just to go against the general grain of this thread which seems to go along the lines of, "Bisexuals are fine, but they may get a bad rep at times from poser bisexuals who really aren't bi. I hate those types, don't you?", I think it's quite possible that those aforementioned poser types could indeed be bi yet completely physically inexperienced in one field of sexual orientation. Bi-curious might not be a term they are familiar with or indeed relate to because that individual knows they are bisexual yet haven't had the physical experience by that moment in time.

For the record, I am straight.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Better that having everyone think your sexuality doesn't even exist in the first gob damn place. Like here.

Spoiler

Maybe I should tell people I'm trap sexual and just pretend I never did not really care about gender and the fact that I could date anyone.

 

[Images]

it stands they are an "everyone but the straight folks" society. Always found that a bit odd. Same with Gay Pride Parades. Always thought they should be called Sexual Freedom Parades to allow everyone to celebrate their beliefs on sex, gay, straight, furry, whatever.

Furthermore, renaming gay pride parades to sexual freedom parades would dilute the message, because the rights of furries aren't really a major concern of anyone right now, I think.

Yeeeah. weren't quite getting the message really. I think the key word was WHATEVER. Whatever someone is. I mereley named furries as an off the wall example. My point was, if a whole city centre is being shut down for a parade about sexuality it should be a celebration of everyone's sexuality. Surely straight people, gay people, people who get off on midget love all deserve to be celebrated?

The wholepoint of the thread I believe was to discuss non acceptance of a particular sexual orientation around other sexual orientations. Part of that is the whole pigeon-holing of sexual orientation with themes. Just as bisexuals may be mocked as posers or straight people mocked as uptight, lesbians as butch, gay men as campl bla bla bla. I thought this idea of exclusivity is pertinent. If I bite though, I would be quite interested if furry rights are being oppressed! I mean, god knows how, but I need to know now! Non-skin sensitive costume washing detergents being withheld?

 

[WolfThomas]

The Kinsey Scale is also very old and quite outdated.

How is it outdated as a scale of sexual orientation? I feel it should probably include Asexual, which it doesn't, but how else?

Actually they do its an X I think.