Blatant Lies

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Ice Car

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Jan 30, 2011
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Gearbox Labs said:
Today, we at Gearbox Software are pleased - nay, thrilled - to unveil a new project that will, in ascending order of importance:

- Jump-start human evolution into its next phase, transforming mankind into intangible beings of pure consciousness
- Cure all known diseases
- Allow us to collect player stats from our games and stuff
What is this miraculous invention called, you ask? When coming up with a name for this project, we knew it needed to be something unique. Something that would convey the progressive, methodical nature of the project itself. Something simple, but memorable. Something obvious, but unique. Something that would identify this project as the simple, yet impactful game-changer that it is.

But all that sounded really hard, so we just collectively shrugged our shoulders and named it Gearbox Labs.

"But," you ask, hand raised in the air, teeth gritted with excited impatience, arm straining toward the ceiling as you desperately attempt to grab our attention, "how do I get involved with this Gearbox Labs thing?" Simple! If you have a copy of Borderlands on Steam, you can sign up as a Gearbox Labs volunteer. Then, all you've gotta do is play Borderlands - through your play, we'll be able to harvest data about pretty much anything in the game. Which missions did you do? Which didn't you do? Where did you die the most, and how? Want to see how you're doing? Make sure to check the leaderboard.

You'll be like a real, live scientist under Gearbox's employ, except instead of being paid thousands of dollars to uncover the mysteries of the universe, you'll be not-paid millions of dollars to help us improve our future games! We'll even send you a labcoat!*

*We won't send you a labcoat.

http://labs.gearboxsoftware.com/
Gearbox Software continues to be unable to impress me and make me laugh. They were never funny to begin with.