Blatant Lies
- Thread starter Redlin5_v1legacy
- Start date
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Truly. I don't have stomach cramps after merely tasting the mix of probably the BEST baked goods I have ever made.
So I was at work like usual about 30 minutes ago. I heard the bell to the door ring so I went out from the back to the front of the lobby and I noticed a little kid standing there.
"Hello" I said as I walked up to the counter. "Hey, there is money in the cash register, right?" The little child asked me with a straight face. "Um yes there is." I replied a little confused. "That's cool. hey can I take a piece of candy?" The boy asked pointing at the little jar of candy we keep out front for customers. "Sure." I responded not seeing any harm in it.
The boy then leaves and I go back to the back room and about 5 minutes later I hear the bell ring again so I go back out to the lobby to see the kid again. "You're back, did you forget something?" I asked thinking that he was back for candy. "No I didn't but I did come here for something." He replied in a serious tone.
"Um this is a beer distributor, I can't sell anything to you." I stated a little confused on what he wanted. "I don't want beer I want money." He said and pulled out a little water pistol. "This is a robbery give me all your money." The kid said most likely immitating something he saw on tv.
I just looked at him and tried not to laugh, I'm not a small guy at 6'2" (188 CM) and 170 Lbs so I wasn't intimidated by the small child. "Are you serious? Are you really trying to rob me?" I asked in disbelief that this was happening to me. "I am serious, my dad told me that during a robbery your supposed to hand over the money and not risk your life. So hand over the money." The boy said pointing the obvious water pistol at me.
"Listen kid that might be what they trained us to do but I'm not giving up money to you. So why don't you leave and I'll forget this ever happened." I said trying to bargin with him. "No you're trained to hand over the money during a stick up and I'm sticking you up now hand over the money!" The boy said loudly. "okay okay fine I'll treat you as a robber then." I said walking back to the back room.
I came back with a good sized metal bat and I looked at the kid with an evil look. "So you really want to do this?" I asked. "I um I.." The kid said staggering back a little. I then burst into laughter after the kid looked scared for a second. "I'm not going to hurt you now get out of here before I have to call the cops." I said trying not to laugh further. The boy then ran out of the store as fast as he could. THE END
Condensed version: Some kid came into the store thinking that threatining me would be enough to make me hand over money. That is true to a point, if he looked like he could harm me in any way I would have to give up the money even if he didn't have a weapon. I threatened him a little and he ran out real fast and I haven't seen him since
Note: Not exactly as it happened because he argued with me for a good 5 minutes before I got the bat
"Hello" I said as I walked up to the counter. "Hey, there is money in the cash register, right?" The little child asked me with a straight face. "Um yes there is." I replied a little confused. "That's cool. hey can I take a piece of candy?" The boy asked pointing at the little jar of candy we keep out front for customers. "Sure." I responded not seeing any harm in it.
The boy then leaves and I go back to the back room and about 5 minutes later I hear the bell ring again so I go back out to the lobby to see the kid again. "You're back, did you forget something?" I asked thinking that he was back for candy. "No I didn't but I did come here for something." He replied in a serious tone.
"Um this is a beer distributor, I can't sell anything to you." I stated a little confused on what he wanted. "I don't want beer I want money." He said and pulled out a little water pistol. "This is a robbery give me all your money." The kid said most likely immitating something he saw on tv.
I just looked at him and tried not to laugh, I'm not a small guy at 6'2" (188 CM) and 170 Lbs so I wasn't intimidated by the small child. "Are you serious? Are you really trying to rob me?" I asked in disbelief that this was happening to me. "I am serious, my dad told me that during a robbery your supposed to hand over the money and not risk your life. So hand over the money." The boy said pointing the obvious water pistol at me.
"Listen kid that might be what they trained us to do but I'm not giving up money to you. So why don't you leave and I'll forget this ever happened." I said trying to bargin with him. "No you're trained to hand over the money during a stick up and I'm sticking you up now hand over the money!" The boy said loudly. "okay okay fine I'll treat you as a robber then." I said walking back to the back room.
I came back with a good sized metal bat and I looked at the kid with an evil look. "So you really want to do this?" I asked. "I um I.." The kid said staggering back a little. I then burst into laughter after the kid looked scared for a second. "I'm not going to hurt you now get out of here before I have to call the cops." I said trying not to laugh further. The boy then ran out of the store as fast as he could. THE END
Condensed version: Some kid came into the store thinking that threatining me would be enough to make me hand over money. That is true to a point, if he looked like he could harm me in any way I would have to give up the money even if he didn't have a weapon. I threatened him a little and he ran out real fast and I haven't seen him since
Note: Not exactly as it happened because he argued with me for a good 5 minutes before I got the bat
I'm not going to bed now, and definitely don't hope that my tongue will forgive me for the sins I have committed to it.
Well then, if you're in my army I'll have to train you.
MAGGOT! FRONT AND CENTER ASSWHIPE! TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF YOUR LIFE AS A WOMAN AND THE START OF YOUR LIFE AS A LOWASS MOTHERFUCKING BOOT! AFTER YOU'RE DONE WITH YOUR BASIC TRAINING YOU'LL BE BEGGING TO GET INTO ACTION SO THE BULLETS CAN SAVE YOU FROM MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS!
MAGGOT! FRONT AND CENTER ASSWHIPE! TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF YOUR LIFE AS A WOMAN AND THE START OF YOUR LIFE AS A LOWASS MOTHERFUCKING BOOT! AFTER YOU'RE DONE WITH YOUR BASIC TRAINING YOU'LL BE BEGGING TO GET INTO ACTION SO THE BULLETS CAN SAVE YOU FROM MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS!
