Blatant Lies
- Thread starter Redlin5_v1legacy
- Start date
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I'm listening to some horrible fan-made stuff [http://haveanartattack.bandcamp.com/album/equineox] right now.
It's really closely tied with the fandom though, so it counts twice as much.
It's really closely tied with the fandom though, so it counts twice as much.
@vvv: I'm extremely displeased and angry at the fact that CM Punk is the WWE Champion right now.
He doesn't deserve it.
He doesn't deserve it.
When last on a safari for the Governing General of Australia I travelled to the relatively unknown country of onomatopoeia. It was lucky I had recently brushed up on my basic French because our guide though born in Spain had never bothered learning his own language, this curious fact made it even more impressive that he managed to learn French from a "let's learn to speak Spanish" cd. We, me and the guide, Were able to communicate through our basic grasp of French by saying hello my name is so and so and enquiring as to where the train station is.
[small][sub]My Guide[/sub][/small]
It was 1822 five years before I finished my journey and was found in a opium den with one of my lungs missing and my blood having been replaced with boiling hot Tea. So being much healthier and less of a human tea bag traversing the dark labyrinthine of Sparse Jungle, the last charted part of Onomatopoeia, was no problem for me and my guide. So simple in fact we deviated from our quest for a short while so we could attempt to steal some of the famous Hydroponic Honey from the terribly deadly Bush Bee of Nightmares.
[sub][small]Artist rendering[/small][/sub]
This tale was so exciting that I feel a brief switch in narrative perspective is in order to fully convey the excitableness.
The adventurer known to many as Jacob the Giddy pigeon was trapped and just recently had convinced his guide to distract the Bee of nightmares which had rather easily cornered them in a small cave. The daring Giddy pigeon's plan was to get his guide to run left distracting the bee as he would then throw rocks in an attempt to knock the bee out. As his plan was thought up in the most unlikely fashion it was, in his mind, the most reasonable plan possible.
The guide darted off in a burst of speed with the Bush Bee now following manically crazed in close pursuit. Jacob seeing his chance threw one of his adventuring bricks, a item he never left home with out, with a great hefty force. As the brick sailed through the air dreams of the legendary Hydroponic honey began to swirl through Jacob's mind sadly cut short by the realisation his brick had instead hit and knocked out his guide who's leg was now being eaten by a Bush Bee of Nightmares. Chalking it up for a loss the Giddy pigeon strolled casually from the cave stealing the bee's honey pot as he left.
Yes I believe that was how it went.
Now back on my original mission, guide-less but not deterred, I fashioned an steam powered hookshot from local Flora and Fauna and used it to double my travelling speed from a mosey to an saunter.
[HEADING=2]Section of words 2[/HEADING]
After a year of travelling through the sparse jungle I had happened upon a small fishing village who all quite remarkably spoke a langue similar to the Queens English. The only words that weren't the same seemed to be their word for "guest" translates to our word for "Sacrifice". The difference between these two words is a rather a important one, which I discovered later when I was standing on the edge of a black void that seems to be filled with the painful screams of past "Guests". It was then that I deducted chances were I was actually an sacrifice and probably not very welcome in the village any more.
Later after running out of witty curse words to hurl at the natives I was kicked into the void but not before grabbing the closest thing I could, a local girl, whom I would later marry and be abandoned by in an opium den. Together we fell for what seemed to be like the length it takes to cook a roast dinner.
In this time I began to chat her up asking her name and if there was anything fun to do in her village, sadly my advances were all met with screams that we were falling.
Remembering my hookshot I grabbed the girl and shot it into the blackness. Swinging with grace we landed on a ledge causing the now hysterical girl to burst out in tears and begin to call me some of the more offensive words I was calling her village people as they pushed me into this predicament earlier.
....................
Stayed tuned for chapter 3
