Blatant Lies
- Thread starter Redlin5_v1legacy
- Start date
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I didn't just get a job. I hate life. I didn't get a Pizza to celebrate because nothing ever good happens to me. Fuck my life. Even if I did get the job I would hate the co-workers or the managers I met today.
[HEADING=2]Don't listen to the music for effect.[/HEADING]
When I was five I was dumped on the front lawn of an ex-convict who took me in as a son. I was abused daily, being whipped for my disobedient nature. I made several escape attempts but he alway found me and made me swim in the sewer for spare change. My only escape was Pokemon but even that was taken from me in a terrible storm. I was running home in the rain when my gameboy fell out of my pocket. I found it the next day, totally smashed up and broken. My Pokemon, my hopes and dreams of catching them all were lost. That day I vowed I would become a master, even if I couldn't play the game. I hitched a ride on a train, finally fleeing my adopted father. I was thrown into jail when I was caught stealing food to survive. I eventually was released into a new foster home and for a time I had a nice family. Then the beavers came, eating them in front of me. It was horrible. I fumbled for my .22 but I only managed to shoot one before they got me. They didn't kill me, they took me to their dam and made me their slave. I had to chew through trees to preserve their kind. I learned to understand their language and they would give me raw fish to survive. I couldn't escape because I had no idea where we were in the wilderness. Finally a group of Canadian troops on a training mission found me chewing on a Birch tree. Thinking I was feral I was taken away by force. I was re-educated and became a soldier. I was deployed in the war against the polar bears in the north, forced to see slaughter after slaughter. Eventually I was so disillusioned I escaped the army by becoming one with the bears. They smuggled me down to the south where I got a computer and a new gameboy. And this is how I stand before you now. Scarred with poor hygiene and a thing for fish.
Call 1-80-ITS-ASCAM and donate money to support my life in Wolverine's basement. Every Looney buys me another minute of internet.
I didn't just finish this. [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/6.363767-The-Escapist-Background-Contest?page=2#14356109]
Everyone I was going to ask via skype to look at it went to bed so I didn't submit it anyway.
Everyone I was going to ask via skype to look at it went to bed so I didn't submit it anyway.