Well yeah, one could...Tanakh said:
If he had social skills, wasn't totally oblivious, and had something to show for himself.
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- Thread starter Dismal purple
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If he had social skills, wasn't totally oblivious, and had something to show for himself.
Who I am to tell anyone how to live their live's, but mmmmm. The part about not going out much, and some of the responses that say that's fine and not to do 'anything you don't like', I can't agree with. The problem with life, particularly in the social domain, is that we like to stick with what is comfortable, but it is only by facing situations that make us uncomfortable that we grow as a person, and gradually we become comfortable with new things, like being sociable and outgoing, and trying our luck with people. I am speaking from experience, not just the experience of myself but also of my girlfriend who also found it very difficult to get herself out there.
I think you only need to change one of the two, focusing on the easier one (social skills/awareness for most people) would make sense... tough I made it with "being smart" and "having a project and stuff to show for myself".Casual Shinji said:
Honestly I am grateful that one girl crossed my path, always have, always will; though things have never been easy with her, not even now.
23, really focused upon my work to the detriment of everything around me. It would've been nice if somebody could have reinforced the whole 'it's not what you know, it's who ya know', so unsuccessful on top of being socially innept. And I'm a guy, figure it's not as bad for women due to the whole double standard (women have to hold onto their virginity for a long as possible, guys have to get rid it as soon as possible.
Virginity to for guys is like the opposite to wine, value goes down as it ages.
Virginity to for guys is like the opposite to wine, value goes down as it ages.
When you stop being a teenager, everyone stops caring. You'll find the odd one or two that think it's somehow strange to still be a virgin in your twenties, but those people are rare. The only time it's likely to be an issue is if you lie about your sexual experiences; there's no point in doing so and people generally do not appreciate being lied to. Honestly don't worry about not having any experience, but at the same time if you do want to have sex just for the sake of seeing what it's like, don't let anyone shame you out of that either.Dismal purple said:
I'm another one of those women who did everything too early, and I have only been "single" (not seeing anyone nor sleeping with people) for a very brief amount of time since my early teens. Everyone's missing out on something, so don't think you're strange in your position. For instance, I've only just started University and I'm in my late twenties... we all do life at a different speed and in a different order. Just be willing to be brave enough to try new things.
All this number-dropping like we're robots trading serial numbers, people. Sheesh. We set our own expiration dates. As you can see by all these stories of anxiety, wishful thinking and actual sex, there's no one way of living your life and you kind of make it up on the go. If your top priority is having sex, getting kissed, or building up a relationship (or all three) it's really just a matter of joining up the leagues of lonely hearts that make up all those online dating sites you always thought wouldn't work (but were afraid to try anyway).
Well, for the most part, they don't. It's also uncomfortable, exposing yourself that way to anybody wanting to see. But get past that and just maybe.
Well, for the most part, they don't. It's also uncomfortable, exposing yourself that way to anybody wanting to see. But get past that and just maybe.
I'm 21, nearly 22. Had a girlfriend from ages 15 to 16, kissed but still have my virginity. I don't regret not having sex because, looking back, she wasn't a good girlfriend to begin with. I'd regret it if I did lose my virginity to her, so, you can probably tell my opinion on those having not lost their virginity.
I think about getting another girlfriend from time to time, but I want to focus on study and getting a job before I seriously think about looking for a girlfriend.
To be honest, if I think on it for more than a second, I don't really know what I'd need a girlfriend for. I'm pretty happy as I am, don't want children, think marriage is overrated and don't really give a rat's ass if I ever lose my virginity at the moment. I know that's different from a lot, if not most people, but that's just how I see it.
I think about getting another girlfriend from time to time, but I want to focus on study and getting a job before I seriously think about looking for a girlfriend.
To be honest, if I think on it for more than a second, I don't really know what I'd need a girlfriend for. I'm pretty happy as I am, don't want children, think marriage is overrated and don't really give a rat's ass if I ever lose my virginity at the moment. I know that's different from a lot, if not most people, but that's just how I see it.
I had my first proper relationship at 18, after a few teenage short-term things. I was with her for 4.5 years, which took me to 23. I am 25 now and haven't been with anyone since, properly, but I have been doing the whole online dating thing. Met with a few people from there, and hey, it kinda works! You can meet people, chat with them and make friends and there is no pressure. You can also vet them before you email, which is good, and then get to know them electronically before you agree to meet!
Definitely reccomended to meet like-minded people!
Definitely reccomended to meet like-minded people!
What I think is maybe important here is that you say you have never "liked" anyone.
What do you mean by "liked"? I guess you are saying you haven't ever been madly in love, but has there really never been physically attracted to someone or had someone you liked as a close friend?
As other have suggested you could try doing sports or activities with other people, it seems you are fairly isolated at the moment. Even ask some of your friends to set you up on a blind date, it might be a complete disaster but at least you will have done something.
What do you mean by "liked"? I guess you are saying you haven't ever been madly in love, but has there really never been physically attracted to someone or had someone you liked as a close friend?
As other have suggested you could try doing sports or activities with other people, it seems you are fairly isolated at the moment. Even ask some of your friends to set you up on a blind date, it might be a complete disaster but at least you will have done something.
Whilst I'm probably no help with the age part of this (I'm almost 22 and been with my boyfriend now for 4 years), I don't particularly enjoy going out much either. Much prefer staying inside, reading a book, playing a few games. I go out every now and again with my friends just for a coffee and whatnot, not much more than that.
My boyfriend is someone I met when I was around 12, on a game called Furcadia (Back before it all went to furry hell). Known each other since then, talked all the time on MSN.. and one day decided to meet up and went from there. Means we have a lot in common, love gaming etc. And none of the awkwardness of say going out clubbing and meeting someone, we already knew each other quite well.
As someone's already said, online dating could be a good idea if you feel like it =)
Hope that's been of some help.. ^^;
My boyfriend is someone I met when I was around 12, on a game called Furcadia (Back before it all went to furry hell). Known each other since then, talked all the time on MSN.. and one day decided to meet up and went from there. Means we have a lot in common, love gaming etc. And none of the awkwardness of say going out clubbing and meeting someone, we already knew each other quite well.
As someone's already said, online dating could be a good idea if you feel like it =)
Hope that's been of some help.. ^^;
Pfffft. There's nothng wrong with that! To be honest, I am only 20, so my experience is limited, but: live your life the way you want to.
Technically my first girlfriend was in 7th grade, but the furthest we got was a peck on the lips. The next time I dated was 11th grade. In those relationships we did everything but have sex (those were also some of the worst relationships in my life, topped only by an abusive relationship I had in college). I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22 and really wish I had waited. It wasn't special at all and didn't feel good. I always wanted my first time to be special and be with someone special, but it ended up being with someone I met online and went on a couple dates with. All my friends had had sex long ago and I kept having to dodge questions from them like, "where's the weirdest place you've had sex?" I kind of just wanted to get it over with so I could feel like less of a freak. Every day I wish I had chosen to just keep feeling like a freak
My boyfriend is 32, he had been single for 6years before he met me. He pretty much had accepted the fact that he was going to be alone forever, until crazy ol me stormed into his life haha.
I'm 25 and I dated a lot when I was younger, it didnt make me feel any better, or improve my life in anyway. I rushed into a lot of things when I was younger, because my friends were rushing into things and truly, it ain't all that. There's no point rushing into anything. By all means, take some time, go out into the world, hang out with people, dip your toes in the ocean to see how you feel.
If you find someone who you like and you want to kiss them, go for it. If you don't, that's okay too. I understand the pressures when you're surrounded by family making machines. Most of my cousins are married with at least two kids Do what feels right for you, if you genuinely want someone in your life then go for it, if you don't then enjoy the life you have, if you're not sure WHAT you want, then wait, there is absolutely no rush. Society is so fast paced that everyone wants everything yesterday, doing things at your own pace doesn't make you any less worthy a person.
I'm 25 and I dated a lot when I was younger, it didnt make me feel any better, or improve my life in anyway. I rushed into a lot of things when I was younger, because my friends were rushing into things and truly, it ain't all that. There's no point rushing into anything. By all means, take some time, go out into the world, hang out with people, dip your toes in the ocean to see how you feel.
If you find someone who you like and you want to kiss them, go for it. If you don't, that's okay too. I understand the pressures when you're surrounded by family making machines. Most of my cousins are married with at least two kids Do what feels right for you, if you genuinely want someone in your life then go for it, if you don't then enjoy the life you have, if you're not sure WHAT you want, then wait, there is absolutely no rush. Society is so fast paced that everyone wants everything yesterday, doing things at your own pace doesn't make you any less worthy a person.
The girl I might be with soon never had a boyfriend. She's 22. It happens. Some people fall in love for the first time with 30. Don't rush it. Don't go out looking. It'll find you. You'll fall in love.
Or maybe not. Some people never do. And that's ok, too.
Or maybe not. Some people never do. And that's ok, too.
I have a friend who's 20 and is in the same situation as you and I keep telling her not to worry about it. Having no relationships is better than jumping between bad ones so just wait and let it happen. If you're still single at 50 then you can worry. I've only had one serious relationship but it doesn't really bother me, especially when I see my best friend stupidly jumping between guys who just use her because she can't stand to be alone. Just enjoy being single and having the freedom to do whatever the hell you want.
Why not? If I want something, it has only the value I place on it, nothing more. Nothing is inherently more valuable than something else. How can it be?SmashLovesTitanQuest said: