Broken heart, any suggestions on what to do?

[Xanthious]

I don't mean to pile on fella but I have to ask do you really think it's a coincidence that she magically started seeing this new guy a week after she dumped ya? If were a betting man I'd wager she probably started seeing Ol Muscles a might bit sooner than a week after breaking up with ya and she just got around to telling you about it a week after she dumped ya. I mean it's not something you are like to tell someone you are dating afterall. Women are evil like that.

You'll be happier in the long run getting a nice apartment and maybe a dog (or cat if you're weird) and buying a lot of nice things and staying single. Married men are a pathetic lot as a whole (dead, soulless eyes all of em) and when/if they decide they want their balls back they have to forfeit half their stuff. Single is the way to be fella. If you have the game for it meaningless one night stands and/or a reliable fuckbuddy has a lot to be said for it. If not, it's not like there is a shortage of hookers in this world.

 

[Ledan]

I don't have any experience to help exactly.
My girlfriend just broke up with me, due to long distance being to hard for her. But.... we are still friends, she tells me she is still the same amount of in love with me, and we are still in contact. So it feels much more like a long break than anything....
UNLESS,
As I have been reading: she shacks up with a douchy muscular guy...... is that inevitable?

OP: If she got together with another guy, pretty much immediately after you broke up, I say there is no point in keeping in contact with her. It's just going to make it harder for you to get over her, and she appears to be over you. Sorry. Hope you have some good friends, and good luck to you!

 

[Hugga_Bear]

"Why do they want the muscly douches instead of nice guys"

That phrase right there killed any motivation I had to help you.

http://xkcd.com/513/
Always springs to mind...

Anyway, I'll help, despite the slip. My situation was a little more complex, since I succeeded in both being the dick who broke the relationship and suffering the most for it. Ah depression, the wonders it can do to your mind (tell girl you love that you feel nothing for her = save her from pain? Good going brain).

Anyway, for me it was a time away from relationships. I just said no and if I did it would be short ones, nothing deep. Slowly built up and then just went for it one day. It took me a couple of years to get through but I think my recovery time was abnormally long because I was also dealing with the very real fear of repeating the mistake and hurting another badly.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Spend eight years despairing over why your mother girlfriend doesn't love you. Have a crisis and wonder why she would abandon you for an abusive partner a douche, thereby destroying your childhood and your ability to function socially. Become embittered, angry and unpleasant, alienating everyone around you. But that's okay, because they would have abandoned you at the first opportunity, just like she did. You'll never be enough for anyone.

Listen to this song.

Spoiler

 

[LITE992]

I know it sounds stupid, but girls aren't really into nice guys (at a young stage in their life anyways). They prefer the kind of guys who act like jerks because that tells to the girl that he's a fun and outgoing guy. To them, nice guys are boring and predictable, two things that turn a girl off. So they go for the exciting guy they think will make their life happy, but end up getting dumped/abused/whatever and then complain that all guys are jerks. It's only after they grow out of this phase they want a long lasting relationship.

There was a thread on this site about another guy who was in a similar situation. He had a girlfriend for a few years that was starting to bore him, and there was this exciting new girl he recently met, and was torn between the two.

 

[James Crook]

I'd suggest you become Adam Jensen and don't give a fuck about relationships with puny, betraying humans with double-standards anymore.
Adventure awaits!

 

[The Big Boss]

Because, I don't want her back as a girlfriend, but I want to keep her as a friend, the issue is well, since it went on for a while and the breakup was so recent, it keeps gnawing in the back of my head that she at least deserves better then that guy.

I know what you're going through but honestly the simple truth is you'll get over it. And when you do you will look back on what you just wrote here and think, "What the fuck was i thinking?".

Seriously, listen to yourself. The ***** just blew you out like a snotter and you think she deserves better? That's not true love, it's idiocy.

Single life is fun so enjoy it. Hang out with friends and socialise. It'll be tough for a while but isoltaion and videogames will only make things worse. Less time spent alone dwelling on it the better.

Oh, and a little life lesson a friend told me lately, "All women are snakes, even your own mother!"

 

[ultimateownage]

'A guy with muscles'
OH NO! HOW DARE HE!

I wish people would shut up with the douchey guy thing. Trust me, if they have at least a little bit of sense (and she went out with you in the first place, so either you spent your entire time saying those kind of things and you were just as bad or she was sensible for going out with you) then there is SOMETHING appealing with them.

 

[Mandalore_15]

snip

Don't bother with her. Trying to stay friends will only bring you misery. She treated you like shit, so do her the same kindness. Cut her out of your life and, eventually, you'll be able to move on.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

Best cure for heartbreak is getting laid, in my unprofessional depraved opinion.

 

[tobyornottoby]

About the "nice guy" thingy, http://mightygodking.com/index.php/2007/12/16/the-internet-nice-guy-rears-his-ugly-head-once-more/

About the sadness, yeah that sucks a lot. What helped for me was to find an outlet. Poetry, writing, games, taking a new hobby, something ambitious to keep you busy.

 

[zehydra]

"Why does girls always go for the muscular douchy guys when they say they want a nice guy?"

sexuality.

/thread.

 

[The Coop]

White_Lama- You say "... but I want to keep her as a friend". Why? Do you like the prospect of becoming an emotional tampon for her? Someone she'll go to when things aren't going well, then leave you behind once she's done whining and crying until her next crisis comes along?

She's done with you. Don't let her words or deeds suggest otherwise, and don't fool yourself into thinking differently. She's found someone else, and if she ever says she wants you back, it's only because it didn't work out with the new guy... not because she still has any real feelings for you (you don't love someone, then not love them anymore, then love them again at the drop of a hat).

Do you want to become the "I'll stick with him until I find someone better" guy? A temp boyfriend she uses until she finds yet another guy who makes her panties moist and dumps you again? I doubt it, since if she left you once, she'll do it again without hesitation. So if you're staying in touch with her in hopes of her coming back, don't bother. It's not going to happen. Instead, I suggest you turn, and walk away from her for good. The next time she wants to talk to you, tell her you're not interested. Feel free to say what's on your mind, whether it's a simple "You broke my heart, and I no longer want anything to do with you," a blunt, "Piss off, *****," or something in-between. Just push her away like she did with you, and continue on with your life. Leave her to the choices she made, and don't her choices drag you along or down.

Yes, it stings. After three years, I'd be surprised if it didn't. But it's over, and trying to hold on to slivers of it will only do you more harm than good as time goes on. So just cut any and all ties to her, take a little time if needed, and then find yourself a new slice of heaven with someone else. You'll be a better off, happier man for it.

 

[MordinSolus]

I haven't had a relationship past playful flirting since, and broke contact with her after responding to 'I think I made a mistake' with 'You think?'

Lul. Why can't every sappy love scene have the main male character NOT put his ex down nicely, and just say this?

 

[Terrara]

Two words: Watch Day 9.
Specifically daily 342 and Valentines Day. Trust me.

Also see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XROIwCuM4-o

Restores your trust in life.

EDIT: Whoah whoah! Guys, why some much hate on girls? Really? It's like Alyssa Bereznak all over again!
I never saw the appeal for going after the coolest ones or the alpha male types(the real life ones that is. Hi Adam). If she had a boyfriend in a week then you are just not very good at reading her emotions. People do not change (unless they spent at least a year secluded from regular contacts somewhere in flooded area of Indiaof drought suffering Africa with several hundred starving orphans) it's just that we don't know them enough. Did you really love her or what you perceived to be her (search the Day9 dailies I mentioned)

That said, I never did have a boyfriend (had something to do with me have only friends who were almost all male) so I won't say how I would behave...
P.S. I'm over 12 if that is what you are thinking right now.

Still my first advice stands.

 

[Tizzmarelda]

Move on and never speak to her again. Harder said than done, I know, but trust me when i say this, staying friends only means getting your heart broken twice.

 

[emeraldrafael]

well you could go burn "fuck you ****" in her yard with gas or sterno.

But thats not constructive (or legal). Id say the best tihng you can do is just be the bigger person and move on with your life.

Yeah I know. "oh of course you say that, but you dont know how hard that is" ad blah blah blah. Dont care, its the best advice I can give, cause its the advice I take whenever a girl and I dont work out. No point in dwelling on it, cause then she sill owns you.

 

[Use_Imagination_here]

Well first you gotta get laid. Than you gotta get high. And than you gotta get laid again.

Cos that's what it's all about. Getting fucked up.

No but seriously, cut all contact with her. Not a good idea, I'm speaking from experience.

And also, kill her pet, except not. Obviously not that, but something like that. Unless no.

Edit: Fucking ninja!q

 

[The-Epicly-Named-Man]

Christ, you're bitter about this (not that I blame you).
Don't really have a lot of experience in the matter, but I can guarantee you won't be able stay friends. The only situation that would be possible is if you had to see her everyday, which clearly isn't possible is her reason for leaving you is because of distance.