"...but we're just friends"

[WOPR]

...Just wondering

Being a site of nerds (I mean that in a good way) I'm wondering if any of you have had this situation

Being the cuddly, shy, kindhearted souls we are (well some of us are *cough*)

Why is it that EVERY girl I have ever talked to... goes like this...

"I like you, you're nice, funny, kind, and anyone would be very lucky to have you"
(quickly followed up by)
"...but we're JUST friends, okay?"
(2/3 of the time)
"You're like a brother to me..."

...soo am I the only one that wonders "well if all that is true why doesn't anyone try to give me a chance instead of pulling the 'friend' card every time?"

sorry starting to rant

In Short: Has anyone else had this situation?

(and yeah it ticks me off that after all that stuff they say they go out with a total dick saying "I can change him, he's nice deep down")

EDIT: Crap... did this become a "Hot Thread" while I was asleep? because I had 12 quotes here when I woke up... *grumbles*

 

[Flare Phoenix]

You need to find a different group of girls...

 

[SturmDolch]

Because you asked her out after you became friends with her... My friend does this all the time. He finds a girl he likes, and instead of asking her out while they're just acquaintances, he slowly becomes her friend. Five months later, he'll be sad that she's talking about other guys to him.

Show your feelings and intentions early.

Or perhaps the girl really isn't interested in you. Saying you want to stay friends is a nice way of saying she doesn't want to go out with you.

 

[sneakypenguin]

They are usually just not sexually attracted to you in those cases, or they like the attn and don't wanna hurt your feelings. At least in my exp.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Any girl who lists reasons why they would so obviously want you, and then follows it with a declaration that they don't want you even though you never asked them if they did want you is a presumptious *****.

 

[Mcupobob]

You need to find a different group of girls...

This^ Also don't become friends with a girl and become emotionally involved. Just let them know that your interested in a relationship right of the bat, its more honest and less desperate that way.

 

[Siberian Relic]

"...anyone would be very lucky to have you"

I've heard that one a few times now. It's quite funny to hear.

 

[archvile93]

I never put myself in such a posistion, so no. Do they really use such a transparent excuse on you?

 

[WOPR]

Any girl who lists reasons why they would so obviously want you, and then follows it with a declaration that they don't want you even though you never asked them if they did want you is a presumptious *****.

I did tell them I like them
then they go into that long rant
and it has happened EVERY time
...friends or not
and if we weren't friends we become friends from it

so what have I learned?

Tell the girl you like here and you're friends for life

 

[WOPR]

I never put myself in such a posistion, so no. Do they really use such a transparent excuse on you?

that statement is 90% word for word from what all of them say

and if I'm like a brother to them (the 2/3 that say so) **is an only child** then I have like... 1... 2... 3... umm... 9 sisters

 

[Anarchemitis]

Yes. It's not like it was a big deal for me though.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Any girl who lists reasons why they would so obviously want you, and then follows it with a declaration that they don't want you even though you never asked them if they did want you is a presumptious *****.

I did tell them I like them
then they go into that long rant
and it has happened EVERY time
...friends or not
and if we weren't friends we become friends from it

so what have I learned?

Tell the girl you like here and you're friends for life

Well then maybe the problem is with you. I don't know, but bitching to a group of strangers on the internet isn't going to help matters. Why do people think there is some magical solution out there to get girls that they just were never taught... like there was a "How to get Girls 101" lesson in school they somehow missed?

 

[WOPR]

Any girl who lists reasons why they would so obviously want you, and then follows it with a declaration that they don't want you even though you never asked them if they did want you is a presumptious *****.

I did tell them I like them
then they go into that long rant
and it has happened EVERY time
...friends or not
and if we weren't friends we become friends from it

so what have I learned?

Tell the girl you like here and you're friends for life

Well then maybe the problem is with you. I don't know, but bitching to a group of strangers on the internet isn't going to help matters. Why do people think there is some magical solution out there to get girls that they just were never taught... like there was a "How to get Girls 101" lesson in school they somehow missed?

umm... not trying to "whine"
trying to explain when things are asked
the primary question still stands

"Are there any other people that have been in this situation, or do I just suck at life?"

I'd say maybe it is with me, but (not trying to sound full of myself) I am a good person... sure I'm not uber beefy, and I'm a bit on the nerdy side, but so what?

anyways

see question

now to make this funny

blurrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaa- *choking sounds*

 

[TheTaco007]

I don't think I've ever been rejected when asking a girl out.

Sure, they might break up with me a few weeks later, (or more likely I'll get sick of them and dump them 6 months later) but I don't think I've ever been denied straight up.

Sorry, didn't mean to rub that in anyone's face. Just saying that there's hope. If I can do it, so can you.

 

[crudus]

In Short: Has anyone else had this situation?

(and yeah it ticks me off that after all that stuff they say they go out with a total dick saying "I can change him, he's nice deep down")

Spoiler: quoted from Bash.org, no idea where it came from before landing on that site

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Christ I get this situation all the time. What is in the spoiler tag sums it up quite nicely.

 

[Canid117]

You need to find a different group of girls...

Yeah find something sluttier.

 

[Nimcha]

Oh yeah, I've had this. Usually after I tried to make a move though. I don't mind that much, I like friends as well.

 

[Siberian Relic]

Any girl who lists reasons why they would so obviously want you, and then follows it with a declaration that they don't want you even though you never asked them if they did want you is a presumptious *****.

I did tell them I like them
then they go into that long rant
and it has happened EVERY time
...friends or not
and if we weren't friends we become friends from it

so what have I learned?

Tell the girl you like here and you're friends for life

Well then maybe the problem is with you. I don't know, but bitching to a group of strangers on the internet isn't going to help matters. Why do people think there is some magical solution out there to get girls that they just were never taught... like there was a "How to get Girls 101" lesson in school they somehow missed?

Dude, chill. He's not looking for your eloquently labeled "magical solution". One of the best ways to deal with a situation that can be personally discouraging is by hearing from others that have experienced the same sort of thing. You don't feel quite so ostracized or weird when you know the experience isn't isolated.

 

[New Vegas Samurai]

Any girl who lists reasons why they would so obviously want you, and then follows it with a declaration that they don't want you even though you never asked them if they did want you is a presumptious *****.

I did tell them I like them
then they go into that long rant
and it has happened EVERY time
...friends or not
and if we weren't friends we become friends from it

so what have I learned?

Tell the girl you like here and you're friends for life

Hey brah, not to be rude or insensitive, but you really gotta stop making friends, If you want a relationship, go for it and see what happens...
More importantly, don't let them use you with the excuse of being friends.

Sure, if you honestly want to remain friends and be the shoulder to cry on, go right ahead, as long as you don't cling to the hope that this is the key to their hearts, yeah?

To be honest, it's a very manipulative move

 

[WOPR]

In Short: Has anyone else had this situation?

(and yeah it ticks me off that after all that stuff they say they go out with a total dick saying "I can change him, he's nice deep down")

Spoiler: quoted from Bash.org, no idea where it came from before landing on that site

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Christ I get this situation all the time. What is in the spoiler tag sums it up quite nicely.

sounds 99% right

...only instead of it being one "job interview" it's roughly 26? 28?
and the only "jobs" that considered "hiring me" couldn't because they're on the opposite end of the country.