Can a 'Life philosophy' be wrong?

[TheEndGame]

Surround yourself with like-minded individuals. No one ever can define what success and happiness is for you. All that matters is that your content with yourself.

 

[Cucumber]

... Also if you do something other than staying on the computer all day, you won't feel guilty about being on the computer later because you can tell yourself "Hey, I did something. I get to relax now."

"Hey, I did something. I get to relax now."...
I find myself using that line a lot lately, since family tries to keep me occupied with anything else. As i love my family much, I actually spend a lot of time with them. I can't help but feeling sometimes that it dosen't benefit in any positive ways. I actually think that i think too much about stuff. I think too much...

I think the sheltered life style is ok for a while, but you can't spend your whole life like that. Eventually you'll have to face the world. Of course I'm not saying you have to before you're ready, but eventually you'll crave for something more. Don't spend your whole life shut away from people, it may be comfortable and secure, but it won't satisfy you in the end.

Yup, I've done those same thoughts though, and come to realise that it wont really help that much if i really locked myself up somewhere alone.

I would hesitate to say you aren't a people person. If were in a room filled with people like yourself you would probably find you all would end up socialising and doing this so called normal stuff. It is a situation of surrounding yourself with the right people.

Yeah, thinking about it, Im not that fond of hanging out with people because it's not the right people.

I am often given the choice of either staying home or going out with my freinds to watch a movie or play some poker or you name it. And I've been critisied for sometimes choosing to stay home. The ohter feel that I rank them lower than whatever my current activity was (Reading or playing games or something else). Then they throw the argument that im not a real 'freind'. Is it my fault that I dont find them intresting enough? Or do I set my standards too high? Many things puzzle me...

Find something you're interested in, if you like writing try writing a short story or a novel. If you enjoy television, make a movie for fun. Just do something random and exciting like sky diving, rock climbing, base jumping, going to a party or two. Anything. I can guarantee you, if you start to do something new and exciting you'll feel much better.

I think I'm at the point where I'm looking for that new thing. Only problem being, I've looked a lot of places and still looking. Me trying all these new stuff bring me some kind of occupation, so that'll work for now. I've also tried applying for a part-time job, hoping that occupying myself will help me feel less depressed or just postpone my troubles.


I've read this story recently about this person being depressed because of a feeling of stagnation (like everything's the same, everything always will be). I kinda could relate to this guy. But i have a feeling that I'm not really depressed of theese matters, I'm just trying to blame my depression on something. And I have a feeling that this one isn't the right one...

 

[Echo3Delta]

In my opinion, the answer completely depends on your age and situation.

If you are:

18 or younger: None of your problems matter, because you'll be a very different person in the coming years. Wait til you grow up, then worry about how you spend your time. For now, congratulations. You've got teen-angst. So does every other person your age. You'll grow out of it just as surely as you'll take no comfort from the knowledge I've just given you.

19-22 and in school: Being a recluse in college isn't a horrible thing, but it could keep you from learning the most important lessons available to you at this stage of life. I know it's hard to find people who totally jive with your personality, but you're not gonna find them in your room, and possibly not even on craigslist. The video games and all the fantastic internets will still be there when you get home. You should challenge yourself to go out to a party or to a club meeting that you wouldn't normally go to maybe once a week. You'll meet a ton of people who you really don't care for, and it'll be discouraging, but a few diamonds in the rough out there might show you how fun the social life can be.

19 and older and working and supporting yourself: Congratulations. Hopefully you've grown up early or graduated college. If not, I'd get myself to school before the real world fucks me sideways. If you're living on your own, you should have the maturity to know what kind of person you are. No one can tell you what you should or shouldn't be doing with your social life. To alleviate your depression, though, I would offer the same advice I gave to college kids. Replace parties and meetings with bars, nightclubs, or arcades, and you may find some friends even better than video games. Again, they'll always be there when you get home.

19 and older, not in school, and living at home with parents: Dude. You've got bigger things to worry about than your social life. You're not in control, man. You've got to take control of your life, get a full-time job, and start living on your own if college isn't an option. You'll make friends with co-workers, and your independence will spur a sense of strength which will raise your self-confidence and help with your depression. If you are financially and physically dependent on your family, than they are right about your life-choices, and you are wrong. You are wasting your life if they say you are. Not until you become independent will you see relief from this problem.

Also, take up smoking.

 

[nekolux]

...as long as you're not affecting anyone negatively. You should be allowed to do whatever you want.

This hangs a question. Do we affect people negativly be living this way? Do we affect ourselves negativly?

I dont think we are, what do you think?

I'm sorry i was replying from a macdonalds outlet ( i was outside waiting for my dental appointment )

Now the question you asked is completely subjective. On a case by case basis the answer's different.
If for example. You're an adult. Fully qualified to find a job ( a proper one not a minimum wage, work at macdonalds one ), but you laze around home all day. Then i think yeah you might be imposing on whoever's taking care of you. Fully qualified by my definition is that you've studied all you can. You have proper qualifications ( Bachelor's, master's maybe PhD ) and are perfectly capable of finding work at an office or something equivalent to that. While i know that's just a way of society judging success, society's the one paying you so you don't have much of a choice but to abide by that =).

If however, you're in college, or university. And you're spending time away from exercises and hanging out with your friends because you are busy studying ( Hey playing games can be educational too like for eg. errr it teaches you how to crowned a witch when there's a zombie apocalypse IRL =P ). Then that's perfectly fine.

^ Those 2 are just observations made strictly to answer the point if you're negatively affecting someone or if you're imposing on someone. In most cases however. If your life is good. You have everything in order but your family just picks on your habit. Then no, you're definitely not imposing or negatively affecting anyone. If you are, it's not your fault. It's their fault for not being able to tolerate activities which defer from their own.

Because really. When you play online with your friends, even if they are from other countries, they are still friends. These friends are people whom you know, whom you interact with on a daily or near daily basis. Somewhere out there, these people exist. Now why would you separate, real life friends from online friends? IF you meet these 'online friends' in real life, you guys would still be friends wouldnt you be? So what, only by meeting the arbitrary standard of seeing each other in real life can these 'online friends' be accepted as ' real friends ' ? Bollocks. These people know you, they care about you and best of all, they like what you like. They are your friends, period.

Just because you guys dont meet each other in real life, ordering a large coffee from starbucks by using the word 'venti' and be all pretentious about how your life is, doesn't mean you're not friends. In fact, these friends are even more aware of how your life is than your 'real friends'. I know that because of the simple fact: " It's easier to be honest to people if you don't do it face to face."
You save the awkwardness, you're not worried about being punched in the face and if this person doesn't like you, you know there's someone on the internet who share the same hobbies as you who would be interested in being friends with you.

In my opinion, the answer completely depends on your age and situation.
...
...
...
Also, take up smoking.

While im not against smoking, what are you doing advising someone to ruin their health by smoking? Rubbish advice sorry, Please do not smoke just because someone promised you that it'll help. No it won't. Not permanently and most of the time, not temporary either. Your advice is good but that last line just contradicts everything you said. You're telling him to take control of his life etc. And THEN you tell him to smoke? Seriously? Trying to deflect the problem by taking drugs and ignoring the problem rather than solving it.

Edit : [/wall-of-text] BAM crits you for 13337 =P

 

[thiosk]

If people criticize you for staring at a monitor all day, maybe its because the dark circles under your eyes, twitchy behavior, and inability to talk to a woman without spouting memes (RAPTOR JESUS SAYS GIV ME BABBY) makes you very uncomfortable to be around.

sure, when you turn 18 and move away from home *as I assume from your writing* youll be able to do whatever you want. but keep in mind that there were people who tried to keep you from ending up like this guy

 

[9-liner]

..Is my interpetation of living wrong? If yes, how is it wrong?
Is my way of living wrong? Is it wrong of me to sit in front of a computer more than society finds appropiate? If I am wrong, then please explain me why! I've always learned that the individual decides how he wants to live, and not be controlled by ohters.
Is it okay that ohter people shuns a diffrent way of life? Is this a act of ignorance or not?

Let me guess:
Everybody you're talking about has suggestions (directives) on your life and how you should spend it, but no one has any compelling reasons or theories to go along with what they are demanding to see you do.
"If you just do it, you'll see what I mean!"
"It's just better! You'll like it!. Go!"
Everybody has a list of what you should think and feel once you've succumbed to their wishes, and if you don't suddenly experience the internal epiphany they think you should, you have failed their little mission. As a result, you are a bad person.
"Don't you think this is pretty/nice/cool?"
"Don't you feel happier, just like I do right now?"
"I just don't know what is wrong with you!"
It's kind of like being surrounded by a group of adult sized babies who are all screaming incoherent demands at you. When you tell them you don't understand, it angers them and causes them to scream their nonsense even louder. Or to paraphrase:
"God dammit! Why can't you just go outside and do what I don't know how to tell you to do!?"

Any of that sound familiar?

There is nothing wrong with you and your desire to exist at your own pace. The evil They are right in one respect; it probably wouldn't kill you to go, see, do, have, and as a result, know. But it shouldn't have to happen with They right behind you with a stopwatch in one hand and a syringe full of self-doubt in the other, constantly grabbing you by the face and comparing it to their laminated chart of Appropriate Smiles and Eyebrow Positions. You can't really blame They for wanting a little common ground to share with you, to make it easier to communicate and relate to each others emotions and such, or even for you to be able to take advantage of what They couldn't before, can't now or won't be able to soon. But there is a difference between being invited to use the pool if you want vs being pushed off the boat and into the lake.

The hardest part of giving Massively Multiplayer Offline Real Playing a shot is having to communicate your feelings back to They, especially if you wind up triggering some personal enlightenment as a result of your experience.
"See? I was right! I told you my decisions and viewpoints are better than yours!"
You could wind up being expected to repeat your actions and emotions on cue, like a trained circus animal. Your share of the Common Ground becomes a They tourist attraction, everyone being invited to see the thing They was right about. It can feel worse than simply ignoring They requests and just staying in front of your monitor.

If you care enough about They to let them make you feel bad enough to start a forum thread, you probably do want to make They happy on a certain level. The only way to make it work is to communicate the way you feel about what you believe They are demanding you to feel. Tell They that if they can't provide worthwhile reasons for you to drop everything and try and love everything they do and love, They are going to have to accept the fact that you trying it and you loving it may not happen on your first time out, or at all. Try to get They to understand that there is a difference between leaving a can of tuna out for your favorite cat, and funneling the tuna down the cat's throat. One way results in a lot more scars, even if They were only trying to do the right thing.
In turn, if you can get They to give you the mental space to try whatever at your own pace and/or without their supervision, you will actually need to give whatever-it-is a legitimate shot. Whether you loved it or hated it, give it enough of a shot that you will be able to explain in full detail the reason why you loved it or hated it.

To sum up, here are the talking points to toss back and forth at each other: pressure, expectations (you feel those), communication, reasons, detailed explanations, common ground (you want those), agreement, compromise (you want to use those), humiliation, rubbing noses in it, self-doubt (you don't want any of this to result in those).

Good luck.

 

[stormcaller]

Ok I didn't read all the way through because my lazy kicked in but if your pissed at someone for telling you how to live your life just go watch "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi on Youtube, if that doesn't work then I got nothing.

 

[Healey]

I gotta say, there wasn't anything of note that I disagreed w/ in that post. Live your life as you see fit unless it interferes w/ others' lives.

In agreement. A life philosophy should be individual, just like lives. So long as it doesn't directly and intentionally harm another person's life, go for it. Though even that's probably just advice.

 

[Fraught]

Well, one particular afternoon isn't going to sink, or create a new, deep friendship with someone.


Going out will affect you in the long run, but overall, you explore and discover more exciting and, shall I say, funnier and more quotable things from the internet than mother nature.

You don't have to go outside more, if you feel that your current medical situation is fine. You can sit behind a computer monitor, because that will actually increase your intellect to some level, and definitely more than just "laying in the grass" in "mother nature".

Basically, no. It's YOUR decision, what YOU do, not OTHERS' approval of what is good (what actually isn't, aside from the fact that it makes you more bored and less healthier).

 

[theklng]

i stopped listening to what other people say long ago. i quite honestly hate listening to whatever people have to say; not because they're not me, but because the majority of them want to confine themselves to everything that is right (and by right they mean everything they believe and all their values).

before i listen to someone's opinion, that person will have to prove themselves to me. sadly, only a handful of people do.