Can someone explain this to me?

[Mazza35]

Okay, well I've always had people tell me I'm good looking, perfect kinda guy any girl would want, you know, The guy that is kind, smart, fit, caring, extremely good looking and such.
But, every single girl I've loved, fancied or even had a slight crush on, has broken up with/rejected or shutdown with the most heartless intent (I wasn't rude to anyone, I wasn't a dick, I was polite, kind, and...well perfect I'm told) People say I live a good life, doing good things. I volunteer at two heritage railways, always help people even when I'm fucked. Make beautiful music in a band, just in general do good, but still get fucked over by life.

EDIT: On top of all this, I can't get a freaking job, every after applying at over 200 places, despite my thousand of hours of volunteering in every damned fields, from cleaning to hospitality

How the fuck does this work?
My friends say these things, then fucking shut me down? Saying, 'I just want to be friends!'
I do good everywhere and get fucked over in return!

My true question is, is this really human nature? To tell one thing then act another? To completely fuck someone over because they are 'perfect'?

(Apologies I am bad with words, current mental state)

Thoughts guys? Tips girls? Can anyone offer some fucking incite into this whole bullshittery?

These are two pics of me, am I really good looking? I can't even look at myself anymore because of this bullshit with 'humans' (I am a WWI/WWII living historian (Re-enacting, but doing proper training n field camps n shit))

(I am bottom right, with the hat on)

(Middle)

 

[Keoul]

First off are you gullible?
Secondly, have you ever assumed that perhaps they were lying to you about your good qualities? I'd find it suspicious if everyone around started calling me perfect, I'd think it was a practical joke or something among my friends.

Now about the girls, for me the most likely answer was that they saw you, thought you were a hottie or something, then after going out for a while, they just weren't that into you. Sure you looked good but personality wise you just didn't suit each other, or rather, you didn't suit her needs.

As for jobs no clue mate, maybe they just don't need someone with your expertise at the moment.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Well I'm not the best judge being a straight male but... you look alright. Certainly no glaring issues that I can see. I wouldn't call you "perfect" (I don't thing anybody is), but you look better than I think I look anyway.

I can't speak for your friends and why they would imply one thing with their words and then imply another with their actions, but looks aren't everything. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't their, and in situations like that there's often no rational explanation you can give the other person that would have any hope of satisfying them. So, if your friends want to give you lame and transparent excuses instead then, as much as I know how frustrating that can be, that's their business.

 

[Antari]

Your still young, everyone around you especially the girls are just as confused by everything as you are. Don't take it personally if not much of anyone you know actually has a clue as to what they want out of life yet. Oh and just remember, no good deed ever goes unpunished.

 

[sextus the crazy]

Oh and just remember, no good deed ever goes unpunished.

Essentially this. Remember that and the golden rule.

"What's the golden rule? He who has the gold, makes the rules; It's the only rule there is."

OT: sometimes you're just unlucky or have circumstances that you don't know about.
Just keep going at it. You're certainly never going to get a girlfriend or a job if you don't try.

 

[Matthew Kjonaas]

Life can be mean and hard but with out it you can lack emotional depth that shows that you are real.

 

[Mazza35]

Oh and just remember, no good deed ever goes unpunished.

Essentially this. Remember that and the golden rule.

"What's the golden rule? He who has the gold, makes the rules; It's the only rule there is."

OT: sometimes you're just unlucky or have circumstances that you don't know about.
Just keep going at it. You're certainly never going to get a girlfriend or a job if you don't try.

That's the issue, perticially with the job, I try and try and try and try and get nothing, yet I see people who have fuck all experience and skills get a job after half-assed trying for a week.

 

[ShinyCharizard]

Life isn't fair. You will just have to accept that.

 

[Darken12]

You give off desperate vibes.

The niceness and the "Why does everybody reject me???", plus the fact that you might fit certain geeky stereotypes, might send off "Run away really fast!" signs to women. A lot of women have had to deal with clingy, needy, desperate guys who demand too much of them. The stereotype is that they're lonely, geeky and painfully nice. See, the problem here is that a lot of these guys (and this might apply to you) think that because they possess a certain set of qualities (the most common of which is niceness, but it's often followed by smartness and other qualities popular wisdom says women desire) believe that life "owes" them a relationship. Most women are smart enough to realise that if they date a man like that, she will be under enormous pressure to satisfy a man who believes that he is owed a lot of things.

Secondly, it's possible you're attracted to the wrong kind of woman for you. If you want a stable, romantic, vanilla relationship, women might give you a pass because they see you as sexually boring and probably just boring in general. Relationship priorities change as you move through life, and it's not common for both men and women to be interested in fun, sex and strings-free (or strings-light) relationships in their youth, before settling down as they get older. It's possible you are attracted to women with those priorities. A possibility would be to look for women with the same priorities as you do, or who actively want the qualities you have to offer.

However, from the sound of your post, I want to strongly advise you to rethink your position when it comes to relationships. I understand that you're going through a very frustrating time, but you need to be able to let go of that (and your neediness) if you want a healthy relationship. A good start would be to convince yourself that you could walk into any bar and get laid. It doesn't matter if that's not what you want (a lot of guys who fit this stereotype often scoff at one-night stands), but it will send a reassuring message to women that you're not a desperate woman-trap. Being seen with different women (particularly strangers) will also send a reassuring message, as it means that A) you don't need to set up friendships with women in order to lure them into a relationship (this will greatly reassure your female friends or acquaintances, as a lot of men believe that they can get the woman they want by befriending her), B) you are capable of sustaining a healthy relationship with a woman and let her go without a fuss, and C) you aren't desperate for a relationship (because you already had a few).

Failing this, if you are looking for a relationship and disavow one-night stands, you can start becoming firm in repeatedly and consistently letting your female friends or acquaintances know that you are waiting for the right girl and that none of them are her. This is key. In order to reassure your female friends that you aren't a Venus woman-trap, you need to make it clear that you have absolutely no interest in them. Whether because you have judged them and found them wanting, or because they themselves have made it clear that you are to be just friends, you need to make it clear that you do not have absolutely any interest in them. From then on, you need to make it perfectly clear to any woman you meet that yes, you're waiting for the right woman, and whether she will be considered a candidate or or if you have no interest in her romantically and just want her as an acquaintance/friend (and nothing more).

Whichever method you try needs to be genuine. If you want to try short relationships until one of them hits off, you need to put yourself out there and stare at rejection in the face over and over again. Start with strangers and make sure they know exactly what you want from them, so that there is no confusion later on. Sex and then you find out if you're compatible? Cool, but make sure she knows that up front. And if you want to wait for the right girl, make sure you communicate this to a woman the very moment romance or relationships are breached in conversation.

Remember: Don't be desperate, women don't owe you anything, be up front, be respectful, friends are friends (and nothing more, ever), don't be clingy or needy, don't settle for any woman who will give you the time of day (find the one you genuinely want and either wait for her or keep trying relationships until you find her).