Can this be successful?

[theSHAH]

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over two years now. We are opposite in practically every way imaginable. I'm an independent supporter of Obama, she is a Republican supporter of Romney. I come from a small upper middle-class family with roots to wealthy cousins/uncles spread across the country and globe, she comes from a massive lower-middle class family concentrated almost entirely in a 5 mile radius. Her (and her family) are devout baptist Christians, me (and the majority of my family) are agnostic or at least against any form of organized religion. And to boot I'm a minority and her dad is a raging racist. Now obviously something clicks if we've been together this long, but when we fight it gets pretty nasty because of these differences and neither side backs down. Can this possibly work long-term?

 

[newfoundsky]

Two years IS long term, depending on your age. If, at the end of the day, you are still happy together and love each other (or just happy with each other, hell.), then everything will be fine.

The question should be, do you WANT it to work long-term? If yes, then happy faces for you and her. If not, then the hates shall cometh and destroy all that you have achieved so far. It's really up to the two of you.

 

[Jarsh82]

For the long term, having built in issues with her family can lead to a lot of tension. The bigger issue would be if your world view conflicts with hers. I don't mean is it different but conflicts. Is the way she views the world going to make her lead her life in a way that is incompatible with yours. How will she want to raise the kids? I would assume baptist. Do you have a problem with that? Will she want to stay close to her family when you want to move? Getting along really well is very different from living together very well.

 

[arcie09]

Your situation is really difficult. Whether the relationship will last long-term depends on the both you. How did you survive the two years that you have been together? If you continue what you've been doing during that 2 years, it may work as well in the future, or maybe not, really depends on you. The conflict with your beliefs will still be there. Acceptance is the key as well as understanding each other. And may I add, open communication.

 

[theSHAH]

For the long term, having built in issues with her family can lead to a lot of tension. The bigger issue would be if your world view conflicts with hers. I don't mean is it different but conflicts. Is the way she views the world going to make her lead her life in a way that is incompatible with yours. How will she want to raise the kids? I would assume baptist. Do you have a problem with that? Will she want to stay close to her family when you want to move? Getting along really well is very different from living together very well.

Oh our expectations and desires conflict on many levels, pretty much everything you listed we want the opposite of each other. The way we have gotten through 2 years together is simply to avoid talking about anything of that nature.

 

[Vegosiux]

The way we have gotten through 2 years together is simply to avoid talking about anything of that nature.

That raises a red flag in my head. Communication is key. Actively avoiding communication in order to avoid conflict has never taken anyone to a nice place, only a place that looks nice from the outside maybe. If you want to have a chance at life together, you will have to stop pretending those things aren't there.

Not saying it can't work, mind, just saying it can't work unless you accept those things are there and they will continue to be different.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

Yes it is,your differences can actually strengthen your relationship believe it or not. Hats off to you sir for already going through 2 years when your that different.

 

[toadking07]

The way we have gotten through 2 years together is simply to avoid talking about anything of that nature.

That raises a red flag in my head. Communication is key. Actively avoiding communication in order to avoid conflict has never taken anyone to a nice place, only a place that looks nice from the outside maybe. If you want to have a chance at life together, you will have to stop pretending those things aren't there.

Not saying it can't work, mind, just saying it can't work unless you accept those things are there and they will continue to be different.

Yeah, I'm with this one. At first I figured it could work out, but seeing that you've last two years by not talking about these things, it probably means that when you do finally have to sit down and talk about them, it's going to be nasty. Those are going to be issues you both feel strongly about but are completely opposite each other.

How many kids do you want? How do you raise them? Where do you live? Where do they go to school? Which family do you visit for which holiday? Which holidays do you celebrate? Getting married doesn't make a relationship easier, it just adds to the conflicts as now your two ways of life are forced into a small living space together.

I think you're just at the crossing point of leaving short term and entering really long term in your relationship. You two should probably sit down and discuss what your future is together and how you might handle these things. It might not be easy but you could make things work with some compromises on both sides and working out where you stand on issues to come. On the other hand, it might take its toll not being on the same page as them with so much and having a divided relationship in that sense. :/

 

[Rawberry101]

The only thing that REALLY matters is if you do love her, warts and all. It sounds cheesy but it's true. My parents have different political views, my dad is a republican and my mom is a democrat, and they'll be celebrating their 21st anniversary in November. Your situation does appear to be a bit more extreme than my parents. The only relationship I've had in my life is with a girl who most people would describe as the opposite as me. And we've been together (admittedly on and off) for a year and a half.

Politics are only as important as you make it. The race issue is a bit different...I'd suggest if you want your kids to act more like you (completely understandable, I give my endorsement any way) then you should move a bit farther than 5 miles away from her family if you take your relationship to the next level.

'Merica was built on compromise, however much republicans claim to be uncompromising. I hope all goes well.

 

[MrCollins]

I think it really depends on whether or not one of you is a "black sheep" in your family. It seems to me like, it's most likely her, if you guys can keep a distance from her family or at least, that she will "defy" her family to be with you, then there is no inherent reason for it to fail. People are not entirely determined by their family, often they try to escape and distance themselves from a more "backward" home life.